Logging. It is something every diabetic should do. It is important in terms of identifying patterns and making decisions about dosing - and it is vital to figuring out when you need to be paying more attention and where your problem areas are in the course of a day. I remember the bad old days of handwritten logbooks. They were cumbersome and not at all useful, even when they were kept up and brought to the doctor. Technology has come a long way and there are many great tools available for logging everything we need to be tracking. But, for me at least, logging is still an excruciating task. (READ MORE)

I have been keeping a dirty little secret. I don't know why it feels like a dirty little secret, it's legal in 50 states and not immoral.

I've told everyone I haven't needed insulin since Kate was born. I was up to 30+ units a day of NPH. I haven't taken any NPH since her birthday. I also had an insulin pen of Humulin for the days that I just didn't control myself at lunchtime. Sometimes it was lunch out with the girls, or birthday cake at work, or just unfortunate run-ins with the evil vending machine. But it was important to control my sugars for the baby's sake, so I did what I needed to do. (READ MORE)

It is dark. Black, really. There is no light anywhere. And there is no sound. There is nothing. Nothing but nothing.

This stunning blackness, this lack of light and sound, scares me concious. And I am in my bed. With an empty glass of juice in my hand. My right index finger slides, slimey, against the plastic cup, wet with blood.

Nothing makes sense. Bob's voice is the first thing I'm able to hear. "You need to test."

"I already tested," I answer, "Can't you see the blood?"

"You poked yourself, but you didn't test," He replies, "Come on, it's been about twenty minutes since you finished that juice."

"Was it bad?" I ask.

"Not as bad as it's been. You took the juice fine, no spitting, no screaming, no fighting. It was scary though, because you didn't say a word. It was like you were asleep with your eyes wide open." (READ MORE)

CCBImages

One of the most frustrating aspects of diabetes management is the fact that diabetes has a mind of its own. At any given moment, your body can do the strangest things that you have no control over. Stress, hormones or the weather can have a huge impact on blood sugars and insulin levels. And it's the worst when it's completely unexpected.

Every so often I have weeks where I run higher than normal. I've never found a correlation to one specific trigger, but usually I notice it's when multiple triggers seem to go off at the same time. Whether it be a combination of increased stress and decreased sleep or change in hormones and a change in exercise or maybe even all four, I run high for a few days. (READ MORE)

Today was not an ideal day diabetes-wise. With a 261 mg/dl in the middle of the night, a 39 mg/dl upon waking and three completely unexplained bloodsugars higher than 340 mg/dl this afternoon, diabetes kicked my butt with a vengeance. I am thankful that days like these are few and far between, but man, the rollercoaster is not fun and I feel like hell tonight. (READ MORE)

Ugh.

That is the perfect one word description of my diabetes management these days.  I am off the rails.  I am not on track.  I am completely (or so it seems) - out of control.  I see highs, I see lows, I see some in-range sugars - but mostly - not. 

Today, for example.  68 mg/dl this morning.  No breakfast, because I was too busy, just some Fuse Banana Colada juice.  119 mg/dl at around noon time.  Salad.  No test until 4pm.  4pm.  And I've tested two times today.  Then I'm 200 mg/dl...  So what do I do?  I have a carb heavy dinner and some ice cream.  I am 236 mg/dl at 6:30 pm.  I am 175 mg/dl now.  Terrible.  Terrible.  Terrible.  And not rare these days.

I haven't been to the gym at all this week.  Work activities.  Home searches...  Other stuff that's - distracting. 

  (READ MORE)