Sometimes all it takes is a swift kick in the ass.

Late last week I emailed several of my friends who also have diabetes with this problem: I'm spking high and low after nearly every meal. I can't seem to even have a NutriGrain anymore without issues.

They all agreed that my situation sucked. Maybe increase your basals, they suggested. Maybe it's time to switch insulins, they said. Have you stopped exercising, they wondered. Are you, you know, eating right, they questioned.

While my eating habits are not the greatest, I assured them, these crazy spikes were happening even when I was eating by the book. These blood sugar spikes were insane: the line on Dex looked like a capital W. 

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Ugh.

That is the perfect one word description of my diabetes management these days.  I am off the rails.  I am not on track.  I am completely (or so it seems) - out of control.  I see highs, I see lows, I see some in-range sugars - but mostly - not. 

Today, for example.  68 mg/dl this morning.  No breakfast, because I was too busy, just some Fuse Banana Colada juice.  119 mg/dl at around noon time.  Salad.  No test until 4pm.  4pm.  And I've tested two times today.  Then I'm 200 mg/dl...  So what do I do?  I have a carb heavy dinner and some ice cream.  I am 236 mg/dl at 6:30 pm.  I am 175 mg/dl now.  Terrible.  Terrible.  Terrible.  And not rare these days.

I haven't been to the gym at all this week.  Work activities.  Home searches...  Other stuff that's - distracting. 

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CCBImages

One of the most frustrating aspects of diabetes management is the fact that diabetes has a mind of its own. At any given moment, your body can do the strangest things that you have no control over. Stress, hormones or the weather can have a huge impact on blood sugars and insulin levels. And it's the worst when it's completely unexpected.

Every so often I have weeks where I run higher than normal. I've never found a correlation to one specific trigger, but usually I notice it's when multiple triggers seem to go off at the same time. Whether it be a combination of increased stress and decreased sleep or change in hormones and a change in exercise or maybe even all four, I run high for a few days. (READ MORE)

Sismoon

As a diabetic, I often feel like my life is an "Emergency Preparedness Commercial." You know the kind of commercials during hurricane season or right before huge winter storms? They tell everyone to have water, candles, nonperishable foods, a first aid kit, etc. That seems to be my life: constant preparedness. (READ MORE)

s0ulsurfing

Every day, I live my life with diabetes the same way. I test my blood sugar, I treat lows and I change infusion sets. It is a part of me. Sometimes, it is all of me. I get frustrated on a regular basis with the highs and lows or the way it interrupts my entire life from school to dating to sleep.

It amazes me though when I look back on all those days. It makes me smile. As frustrated as I get and all the tears I cry, I don't remember diabetes as my past. Surely, it's there. I just don't remember the daily parts of the disease. (READ MORE)

It is dark. Black, really. There is no light anywhere. And there is no sound. There is nothing. Nothing but nothing.

This stunning blackness, this lack of light and sound, scares me concious. And I am in my bed. With an empty glass of juice in my hand. My right index finger slides, slimey, against the plastic cup, wet with blood.

Nothing makes sense. Bob's voice is the first thing I'm able to hear. "You need to test."

"I already tested," I answer, "Can't you see the blood?"

"You poked yourself, but you didn't test," He replies, "Come on, it's been about twenty minutes since you finished that juice."

"Was it bad?" I ask.

"Not as bad as it's been. You took the juice fine, no spitting, no screaming, no fighting. It was scary though, because you didn't say a word. It was like you were asleep with your eyes wide open." (READ MORE)