...I don't want to make the effort. This has absolutely nothing to do with the amount of insulin I take or optimal blood sugar control--although those aspects of dropping a few pounds would certainly be welcome.

I simply hate the way I look. I can't stand how I look in a mirror. I wonder all the time if people are staring at my thunder things or three-baby-having flabby abdomen. Realistically I know I'm the one focusing on these issues, but as a girl I still wonder what others think.

It's ironic, but I find myself being judgemental of other plus-size women. How can she be taken seriously when she's so chunky? I'm sure the judgements go both ways, and I suppose this affects my self-confidence in a way I haven't been able to truly see.

It's easy to pick apart all the things that I don't like about my body, and I don't look at myself too long in a mirror, and I often imagine how other people see me. (READ MORE)

Remember that silly/sarcastic quote that people were spouting off some time ago? The one about stress? Stress: The confusion created when one's mind overrides the body's basic desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it. I like it better when there are some choice words replaced, but this is a family place!

Stress comes in many forms, though, not just from anger and frustration, as the quote above demonstrates. Stress comes from having too much to do and not enough time to do it in; from lack of sleep; from poor blood sugar management; and a myriad other situations. All of which can wreak havoc on every part of your diabetes management. (READ MORE)

As I came in the back door, I asked E. if it was OK that we had come this way. "Of course," she said, kissing my cheek, "you're family." It was Saturday night and we were all gathered to celebrate Hanukkah with our friends. Friends I've known since sixth grade, friends I went to high school with, grandparents of friends and ex-stepmothers of friends.

As with most holiday celebrations, one of the focuses of the evening was the food, particulary the potato pancakes. And Uh Mah Gawd does my friend's mom make the most incredible ones I've ever had. (OK so they're the only ones I've ever had, but that's not really the point.)

Anyway, as was requested, I sat where I was. Turns out there were mostly kids at my table, but whatever. I also sat next to Pearl, an old friend's grandmother. She has trouble walking and is without most of her upper body strength, so she essentially sat where she was, too. My friend J. asked Pearl if she could make her a plate. (READ MORE)

I snuck in to the office like I was coming home after curfew. I listened for voices as I climbed the stairs to see if I could figure out where people were and if I was going to encounter anyone at the top.

As I hit the top step I was relieved to see that S. wasn't sitting at her desk. I quickly slunk into my office and plopped the fast-food bag on the floor next to my desk. I hated feeling like I had to hide my lunch, but that's the reality of it. (READ MORE)

Early fall wind blew threw the house as No. 1 and I sat at the dining room table. He was doing homework and I was keeping him company while going through the mail. The girls were alternatingly reading to each other and turning the TV up so blaringly loud that even No. 1 started to scold them like a parent.

Between writing spelling words and their definitions, No. 1 said, "Dinner smells good, Mom."

"Yeah, it really does," I said, thinking I should check the timer on the chicken I had baking in the oven.

It was a Wednesday evening and the fourth day in a row that I had made dinner instead of saying I was too hot, too tired, too annoyed or too lazy to do so and taking the family out for dinner. It had recently occurred to me that we didn't eat out nearly as often when No. 1 and No. 2 were toddlers as we seem to now that No. 3 is a toddler. I hated realizing that. (READ MORE)

Counting days on the calendar, I was shocked at my timing. I had started Byetta exactly 30 days ago, and yesterday morning, on a whim since it was around this time last month that I started the drug, I had renewed my prescription.

I was pretty anxious to get started on the higher maintenance dose. While it had taken a while for the side effects to kick in, I was definitely starting to feel the nausea and lack of appetite lately. Yes, this may sound sadistic, but I was hoping the higher dosage would increase these aspects. (READ MORE)