I'm meeting a friend of a friend for lunch on Thursday. I've never met either of these friends in real life, but we've chatted via e-mail for years and months.

I "met" C. after I e-mailed her about her blog. She is a writer/editor (like me) and has type 1 (like me), so we had some instant connections. I asked her a professional question and we just kept talking, bouncing ideas off each other, chatting about family, etc. (She's writing a book, by the way, about pregnancy and pre-existing diabetes.)

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It's crunchy and sweet -- even when it's not a sugar cereal. It's wet and soft and smooth. It's great for dinner or breakfast.

I love cereal. It used to be the only thing I ate for breakfast: two bowls of Cheerios and I was set all morning. Occasionally I'd mix it up with a bagel or something, but my breakfast staple was cereal. This was, of course, pre-diabetes.

It was an accident that I found out what milk does to my blood sugar. I was pregnant and taking only Lantus at the time. One morning the milk was gone and I drank water with my PB (no J) sandwich (yeah, yuck). I had a pretty blunt "ah-ha" moment when I saw the post prandial.

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The list of things I shouldn't eat is long. And I typically ignore the list.

I'm a chocoholic. Pretty much everyone in my life knows it (even my seventh-grade boyfriend knew it!). One of my favorite phrases is, "This requires chocolate." I do feel guilty, though. Well, not guilty so much as self conscious. 

Today after lunch I got that familiar I-need-chocolate-after-lunch feeling. I grabbed $1.50 in change and walked to the other building.

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I have been on a low-carb kick that has food centered in the forefront of my mind. I had a certain misrepresenting perception of low-carb or carb-free eating. It taunted me about the extra hassle and drawn-out time needed to plan accordingly. If most of the country is serving carb-full food, it made sense in my head that eating alternatively would be more troublesome. Why hand pick vegetables from the produce section when they would automatically put on top of my salad and tacos from the Mexican restaurant? It turns out though, consciously eating carb-free makes life much simpler from this diabetic's perspective.

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chotda on Flickr

I recently told a new co-worker about my diabetes. There was a little confusion, in which I clarified that I was type 1 (although I don't think that cleared things up a whole lot). Plus there was the typical response, like the number one question of "So what can you eat?"

This is where the differences of type 1 and type 2 strongly rear their heads. I replied that I can eat anything I want basically. It was followed by apple chips and an invitation to Jell-O.

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...I don't want to make the effort. This has absolutely nothing to do with the amount of insulin I take or optimal blood sugar control--although those aspects of dropping a few pounds would certainly be welcome.

I simply hate the way I look. I can't stand how I look in a mirror. I wonder all the time if people are staring at my thunder things or three-baby-having flabby abdomen. Realistically I know I'm the one focusing on these issues, but as a girl I still wonder what others think.

It's ironic, but I find myself being judgemental of other plus-size women. How can she be taken seriously when she's so chunky? I'm sure the judgements go both ways, and I suppose this affects my self-confidence in a way I haven't been able to truly see.

It's easy to pick apart all the things that I don't like about my body, and I don't look at myself too long in a mirror, and I often imagine how other people see me. (READ MORE)