I have not had good blood sugar the last four days. Watching the little blips on Dex go crazy high and then plummet below my "low" mark has been nerve wracking to say the least.

What did I eat? Did I not exercise enough? Did I overdo my exercise? Am I stressed? Is it hormones? Is my meter calibrated right? Did I calibrate Dex right? What did I eat? Did I forget to bolus? Did I miscalculate carbs?

What did *I* do?

The last four days I blamed myself for my roller coaster blood sugars. They were horrible, really. Highs so high and not responding to insulin. And then when those highs finally started coming down I felt comfortable enough to eat and my sugar would shoot back up. I think Dex woke me up most of those four nights.

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(15 days ago)

Susanne reminds me that these days will happen.

So, I'm trying not to dwell on it. I'm trying to write this day off and look forward.

I'm trying to forget the horrible look on Charlie's face while he dips half of his head into a bucket, coughing and spitting out toxic ketones.

I'm trying to forget that this could have been avoided if we woke up just one more time in the middle of the night to correct him.

I'm trying to forget how he curls up on the big, brown chair, riding out the discomfort.

I'm trying to forget that not even Christmas would get him off that chair right now.

I'm trying to forget how quickly the ketone strip darkens to purple.

I'm trying to forget purple altogether.

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Are you hooked on caffeine drinks? They are everywhere! Caffeine is littered throughout cups of coffee, doubled up in cans of energy drinks, and even spilling from D-friendly diet sodas, making it hard to get away from. Maybe this is why so many adults, and teenagers, consume the stuff at a heart-pounding rate. But have you noticed the impact on your blood glucose numbers like I have? It can spike my numbers wicked fast if I am not on top of things. Sure doesn't make my employment at Starbucks any easier, the stuff is diffused into my veins with every breath I take!

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Here I sit wearily, just my favorite meter and me.
Staring at a blood sugar of two hundred and thirty three.

I was happily rolling smooth, and on track all day today.
But now am confusedly flustered and in the grips of dismay.

How did my glucose get to be so darn high?

I know my tubeless pump is secured firmly to my thigh.

It wasn't the early lunch of carb free salad with chicken.
Guess I should have just had water or stuck to lime wedge lickin'.

Time to punch in a bolus and get some more insulin to flow.

Oh hell, I don't have my pump's controller- where oh where did it go!?

It is not in my bag, there's no bulge in my front pant pocket, (READ MORE)

smart cookie

It wasn't too long ago that Charlie was a picky eater. Even if we offered him run-of-the-mill kid food like peanut butter or hamburgers, he would cover his mouth with his hands and make a face as if we were asking him to try pig intestines.

For months and months, we begged him to try new foods. And for months and months, he wouldn't budge. That is, until now. It's as if a switch turned on and he's suddenly a food connoisseur. That is why last night was absolute hell.

We did Chinese take-out. My big mouth had to go and ask him if he wanted to share sweet and sour chicken with his sister.

"It's like chicken fingers, only better," I said.

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Joi on Flickr

Because of finals and last minute touches on projects, the last few weeks destroyed my normal sleeping habits. The added stress didn't help my normal insomnia either. I tried heading to bed super early over the weekend so I'd be prepared for this week, but my body just didn't want to fall asleep before one.

Sunday night, I didn't fall asleep until after two. That happened again Monday night. So I was averaging about five hours of sleep a day, with no naptime. By Tuesday afternoon, I was quickly fading.

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