The recession has finally caught up to my employer, who has painstakingly tried to shield us from it as much as possible. However, next month may bring a restructuring that may include layoffs. No one knows yet who may or may not be on the chopping block.
 

I’ve been unemployed before and it sucks. And I don’t want to do it again. But then, I didn’t have diabetes. Then, I didn’t rely on an insulin pump to stay healthy. Now, I think being unemployed would be a much worse situation.
 

When I heard the news about what may happen next month my first thoughts were about how we would continue to pay the two mortgages (no, the house in Missouri hasn’t sold yet!), buy groceries and continue to provide the basics for our family without losing our minds. The thoughts of how I would continue to pay for my health care needs were delayed, strangely.
  (READ MORE)

Today's lunch was a goodbye lunch for a colleague who is retiring. Again. We went to a Mexican place that had rockin' chimichangas. (I so love chimmies, but man does my blood sugar pay for it…it's been four hours and I'm still in the upper 200s despite taking oodles of insulin.)
 

As we munched on chips and salsa while waiting for our entrees, we asked B if he had any plans yet. Was he going to travel right away? Just sit around and do nothing? What?
 

"Well, we'll probably do some babysitting first," B said with a chuckle. B and his wife H don't have children and from what I can understand adore watching their grand nieces and nephews.
 

"Will you go to California or will they come here?" R asked.
 

"New Jersey," B said.
 

It was loud and B can be softspoken, so it was difficult to keep up even though he was sitting right next to me.
  (READ MORE)

This morning it was raining in Phoenix, Ariz. Seriously. It's been raining for days. Our company holiday party was yesterday afternoon and we had the remainder of the afternoon off. Which was nice, but didn't allow me to prepare for a meeting I had at 9 a.m. this morning.
 

I had planned to leave early this morning in order to make sure I had things in order for the meeting (that I was essentially running), but of course I was running nearly 20 minutes later than I had wanted to and expected to get to work almost on time instead of 30 minutes early. I had been rushing out so fast this morning that I didn't eat breakfast and didn't check my reservoir.
 

You can see where this is going, right?
  (READ MORE)

Over the weekend I got high. I mean sky high!

My infusion set must have been bad because no matter all the bolusing I did nothing would get my blood sugar to come down.

I woke up on Saturday morning a little high but was not too concerned. I knew I needed to change my site that morning before leaving for a two and half hour drive away. I had a meeting for a church retreat that I was to be at all day. I changed my site, took some insulin to bring my BG down and headed out.

On the way we stopped to pick up breakfast. I check my blood and was higher then I was earlier. I figured it was because of the time I disconnect from my pump to shower and bolus for breakfast and a correction for the high and move on.

  (READ MORE)

Ugh.

That is the perfect one word description of my diabetes management these days.  I am off the rails.  I am not on track.  I am completely (or so it seems) - out of control.  I see highs, I see lows, I see some in-range sugars - but mostly - not. 

Today, for example.  68 mg/dl this morning.  No breakfast, because I was too busy, just some Fuse Banana Colada juice.  119 mg/dl at around noon time.  Salad.  No test until 4pm.  4pm.  And I've tested two times today.  Then I'm 200 mg/dl...  So what do I do?  I have a carb heavy dinner and some ice cream.  I am 236 mg/dl at 6:30 pm.  I am 175 mg/dl now.  Terrible.  Terrible.  Terrible.  And not rare these days.

I haven't been to the gym at all this week.  Work activities.  Home searches...  Other stuff that's - distracting. 

  (READ MORE)

Surely, I thought when Toohey beeped at me mid-morning, it was one of those random beeps that I couldn't explain. Maybe even a no-delivery message.

"LOW RESERVOIR" was not what I wanted to see. With my new job in a new city, my commute is no longer just four blocks. Now I'm an hour away from home. I can't just scoot out for a few minutes if I forget something.

I scrolled down; 7 units would barely get me through lunch. I kicked myself because this morning before I left for work I checked how many units I had and knew I wouldn't be able to make it through the day. I made a note to stick a reservoir and a bottle of Novolog in my purse so I could make the change this morning when I ran out.

Clearly, I forgot.

  (READ MORE)