I'm staring at the last three weeks of blood sugars. I've calculated my averages and circled every blood sugar that isn't between 60 and 250. But now, I'm just staring. I'm wondering what to do next.

Some of the highs are fairly unexplained (marked with the traditional question mark in my logbook) and some are the result of inadequate boluses, late/skipped boluses for snacks, or overtreating lows. And most of the lows are from decreasing my carb ratio at breakfast (saw a bout of 50's after breakfast three days in a row). Sadly, quite a few of the lows are unexplained just like the highs...late hit from exercise, stress, or just diabetes in its confusion...I'll never really know.

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For a number of years, I was the only diabetic I knew. Diagnosed when I was a little kid, there wasn't an army of advocates knocking down the doors of my school. As far as I knew, the only meter in my elementary school was mine. In my high school, there were two meters: mine and the one belonging to a classmate's older sister. No one else I knew was taking a fingerstick before having the orange slices at soccer practice, or before tap dance lessons.

My first taste of a diabetes community came one summer at camp. Growing up in New England, I had access to one of the best diabetes camps in the country - Clara Barton Camp. I spent six summers at CBC, giggling with my fellow campers, singing my lungs out at the nightly campfire meetings, and making friends. (READ MORE)

I'm not sure what it is about Lindsey's recent post about how we, as a society, tend to gloss over the daily rituals and worries of diabetes, but I flashed back to the rituals of the Nacirema people, and came to the following conclusion:

Diabetes is a religion.

Or more correctly, diabetes management reflects certain aspects of religious practice.

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I am proud to say that I still have every log sheet I've ever written, most of which are pretty comprehensive. If it will offer some perspective, I had a perinatologist once (not my own, but someone I was talking to in another capacity) tell me he thought my logging practices were a little overkill.

You can tell, though, when my efforts start to fade. Of the 10 sheets in my purse, some days are filled out completely, some just have what I ate for breakfast and my fasting sugar. Most, however, are blank.

I actually enjoy logging. It might sound cliché, but logging helps me see patterns, keep track of what I'm eating and know what my blood sugar was in certain situations. But, often, as quickly as I decide to start logging (again), the practice is abandoned. (READ MORE)

It's funny when your routine changes--either in a minor way or in a way that completely shifts your life--how hard it is to fit certain necessities back in.

We're sort of starting from scratch here in Arizona. New house, new jobs, new doctors, new almost everything. And since my benefits don't start until Sept. 1 (holy crap is 90 days a long time!), I've been without the nearly constant companionship of Dr. C for about six weeks now. While I know he's always available to me and said he would keep in touch and continue to monitor CareLink when I update until I get a new endo, the distance somehow makes things different.

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The other night I sat down at our newsed kitchen table, exhausted from moving into a new house and ready to eat dinner. I hit "ESC" on Toohey to see how much insulin I had left since I knew I was getting to the bottom of my reservoir. As I scrolled down, I saw "Meter:...8:18 a.m." I continued going, somehow thinking I would see the rest of the day's meter readings (that's how tired I was at that point). But I was actually really shocked to realize that 8 a.m. was the only time that day I had checked my sugar. I was really surprised at myself. Sitting there I thought back over the last couple days and realized that the once-a-day-testing was becoming a trend.

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