It's my time...to have the best of both worlds.

The last week has been filled with high numbers. Consistent results in the 300's. Morning numbers in the 170's and higher. Only two lows, brought on by extensive Humalog use. 217 is not a pleasant average to look at.

I'm positive that I know exactly why these numbers are all so high. Which frustrates me (the reason, not the knowing). A bad mix of birth control pills and Accutane. Both have side effects like high blood sugar or blood sugar changes.

I'd definitely say these were high and definitely changed. And I'm very annoyed. I've raised my Lantus to 31 units in the evening, which has brought lower numbers for today. So I'll leave it at 31 units for the next day or two in order to see how it's working long term. (READ MORE)

My life is on a peg. It's hanging, waiting to be pulled off and move forward. But it's not there yet. I'm not there yet. I'm waiting, so impatient and so anxious for the future, so annoyed by the past...I'm waiting to move forward and be myself, to stop hanging on this peg.

The past three years have been an incredible roller coaster of a journey in regards to my health. I've made so many changes, tried so many things. And at what cost?

Right now, I'm extremely impatient with the future of my skin and the future of pain. I have some major decisions to make in the next couple of months...decisions that I wish I could have made months ago. I'm waiting on the endometriosis diagnosis/surgery. And I'm waiting to decide on Accutane/birth control pills...extremely impatient about this one.

  (READ MORE)

Weaning off then completely stopping the progesterone has been interesting. I've definitely felt my old symptoms come back, like I mentioned last week. A drop in mood, fatigue, and some of the joint pain are the main issues. But there have also been positive changes.

Like the level of pre-period pelvic pain didn't start the usual two weeks out. Of course, my period could be another two weeks away since they are incredibly irregular. But so far, I've only had maybe 2 days of pelvic pain as opposed to a usual 5-10 days. If I could limit it without progesterone, the endometriosis surgery might completely clear whatever else is causing the pain. We'll have to wait to see about that one though.

  (READ MORE)

My endo last week told me that weight gain was just a simple matter of calories in and calories out. I brought in my concern that I'd gained about eight pounds in the last three months without changing diet or exercise excessively. I worked really hard to lose weight last year, I don't want to start seeing the scale creep up and feel out of control.

But apparently, it's just a simple matter of calories in and calories out.

I just don't believe her. I know she has a point. That yes, weight gain often happens when you are consuming more than you are expending. But that isn't the entire picture...especially for insulin dependent diabetics.

  (READ MORE)

What a weekend. What a month really. The past few weeks have been non-stop forward movement for me. Every weekend, I'm heading home for doctor's appointments or JDRF Walks or just "family" time. And all through the week, I'm running between classes, errands, friends, and daily happenings. My to do list is insanely long, filled with essays, exams, oil changes, grocery shopping, and cleaning.

Thankfully, my numbers seem to be settling down. I increased the Lantus dose by one unit back on Wednesday. And it worked until about Friday when I started seeing an endless amount of lows. I was stuck in the 60's, no matter what. So today I've lowered it back down to my usual dosage...hoping that I can get higher numbers, but not too high.

  (READ MORE)

It's my time...to prioritize in my own way.

You may have noticed that diabetes hasn't been my first priority here lately. Not only is school speeding by faster than I can possibly keep up, my other health conditions are facing a lot of changes. Changes that I'm so ready for, but also not prepared for at the moment.

First, I'm starting birth control today after going off the progesterone almost two months ago. I'm hoping that the birth control will help with the premenstrual symptoms that I experience (like cramping, joint pain, headaches, and fatigue), without leaving lasting side effects (like weight gain, stroke, or pulmonary embolism). It took a lot to make the decision to go on it again, but I've made the decision and now I'm excited to see the results.

  (READ MORE)