It's my time...to rejuvenate my life.

November is always a crazy month for me. First, it's my birthday month. Second, it's also like 5 of my friends' birthday month. Third, it's Thanksgiving! Fourth, it's the busiest month in school as projects, papers, and exams take place all right before final exam season in December. Fifth, it's American Diabetes Month!

So here we are at the 2nd already...wasn't it just September last week? Sheesh...this year is flying by faster than I can even say it's flying by. I have lots of plans for American Diabetes Month. And I'm definitely excited to start checking some things off the list while exploring some new fun ideas.

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Weaning off then completely stopping the progesterone has been interesting. I've definitely felt my old symptoms come back, like I mentioned last week. A drop in mood, fatigue, and some of the joint pain are the main issues. But there have also been positive changes.

Like the level of pre-period pelvic pain didn't start the usual two weeks out. Of course, my period could be another two weeks away since they are incredibly irregular. But so far, I've only had maybe 2 days of pelvic pain as opposed to a usual 5-10 days. If I could limit it without progesterone, the endometriosis surgery might completely clear whatever else is causing the pain. We'll have to wait to see about that one though.

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My life is on a peg. It's hanging, waiting to be pulled off and move forward. But it's not there yet. I'm not there yet. I'm waiting, so impatient and so anxious for the future, so annoyed by the past...I'm waiting to move forward and be myself, to stop hanging on this peg.

The past three years have been an incredible roller coaster of a journey in regards to my health. I've made so many changes, tried so many things. And at what cost?

Right now, I'm extremely impatient with the future of my skin and the future of pain. I have some major decisions to make in the next couple of months...decisions that I wish I could have made months ago. I'm waiting on the endometriosis diagnosis/surgery. And I'm waiting to decide on Accutane/birth control pills...extremely impatient about this one.

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When you look at me, what do you see? Do you just see the physical girl standing in front of you? Or do the emotions, the spirituality, the thoughts creep through as well?

When I look in the mirror, I see that I'm tall for a girl. I see that I have my father's blue eyes and the Guerin nose. I also see that my mother's side of the family shows through with the curve of my hips. When I look at me, I see my family staring back at me. Each part of my body comes from the genetics behind me. The resemblance in facial structure to my middle brother...the same fair skin of my mom and oldest brother...the small wrists that are present in all three siblings.

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This morning, I went for a second opinion on my current reproductive status. Back in late August, my Well Woman Exam turned into a possible endometriosis diagnosis. So I decided to go for another opinion before pursuing further treatment options.

And I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised by the doctor. New doctors are always interesting, especially those related to gynecology. But this doctor reinforced the idea that doctors can actually be helpful, understanding, and interested in what you actually feel or need.

So his opinion was that endometriosis is the likely choice as to the causes of some of my reproductive issues. Since I've tried most of the obvious treatment choices (NSAIDs, birth control pills, and pain management), the next step for a woman my age is surgery.

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There's a lot on my mind lately. Some good, some bad, some neutral. Mostly, it's confusion and decisions. And mostly, it has to do with my health...of course.

I started a new prescription called Spironolactone (or Aldactone) on September 1 to help with the side effects of my PCOS. It's supposed to take about three months to truly see results, but I feel like I'm already seeing some effects. My skin, although still breaking out, is not nearly as bad as it was a few weeks ago. Granted, I'm using tea tree oil and Mederma religiously. So I can't really say if the "Spiro" is helping for sure, but it obviously isn't hurting in that area.

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