I've not slept well these past few nights.

Not only am I in a strange bed in a place that has not been "home" for over eight years, I'm trying to deal with the financial, emotional, and logistical elements of our current situation. Rather than resting and staying asleep, my mind is trying to figure out how to move our office into our already-packed living room, plus adding additional book cases and filing cabinets, without sacrificing my ability to put up my sewing machine, keep my only means of transportation (bicycle) in the apartment, and find space for sentimental treasures, plus finding a way to monetize that which we cannot keep or store, so that we can finance the process.

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When resources are scarce, it is human nature to try to prioritize and cut back until the situation improves. Usually, these are either short-term or seasonal shortages, giving us some idea of how long we will need to endure -- a sort of "countdown" calendar to work against. When we don't know how long the shortages will last, when necessities such as food, water, and medicine will return, we hunker down into what is called a "siege mentality". The problem with a siege mentality is that it can lead into a downward spiral, with the shortages getting more and more pronounced, until it seems impossible that there will be an outlet or that it will arrive in time... or until the besieged die.

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I'm about to say something that will likely leave you with one of two reactions. Either you'll say, I can't believe you said that! What a horrible mother. Or, you'll say, Amen sister. I hear you.

So here it is: I'm about to spend two and a half days away from my family and I can. not. wait. Two and a half days of not worrying about who has their homework done, who has done their required reading for the day, who has done their chores. Two and a half days away from saying "no," "stop it," "because I said so," and "go to time out."

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"If you miss the train I'm on, you will know that I am gone..."

Unlike the melancholy wanderer in the Hedy West song, my cycling computer was at my right hand as I logged in yesterday's ride (to the doctor's office in one direction, then the supermarket in the opposite direction), and as I scrolled past the odometer, it read 512.4 (miles) -- which was approximately the distance I'd ridden since January first. Now, I'm nowhere fast enough to be part of someone's "lead-out train" at the end of a bicycle race -- much less fast enough to consider having others lead me out. Heck, I'm not even fast enough to consider racing the average ten-year-old (I think). But plugging away at it, bit by bit -- errand by errand -- group ride by group ride (OK, there've only been three of those so far, and during none have I been able to keep with the group) -- I've ridden over five hundred miles, this year alone. (READ MORE)

It's my time...to rejuvenate my life.

November is always a crazy month for me. First, it's my birthday month. Second, it's also like 5 of my friends' birthday month. Third, it's Thanksgiving! Fourth, it's the busiest month in school as projects, papers, and exams take place all right before final exam season in December. Fifth, it's American Diabetes Month!

So here we are at the 2nd already...wasn't it just September last week? Sheesh...this year is flying by faster than I can even say it's flying by. I have lots of plans for American Diabetes Month. And I'm definitely excited to start checking some things off the list while exploring some new fun ideas.

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I have no idea why it didn't hit me until yesterday afternoon. I know what stress does to my blood sugars: it lowers them. They get pesky and no amount of carbs will bring them up. So as I was contemplating this weekends' low annoyances, it hit me. Stress.

Last week, my stress level definitely went up. The first round of tests started for the semester. I had group meetings and papers due. Plus I've been dealing with the medical stress that comes with changing treatments and making important decisions. All that added up to leave me with averages like 84 and 69 (over six hours of riding in the 60's).

So Saturday morning, I dropped the Lantus back to my original dose (14 units in the morning and 15 units in the evening). I'm still having a few lows (more than the week of highs), but I'm also seeing a mix of highs in there. Sadly, those highs are my own doing.

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