My life is on a peg. It's hanging, waiting to be pulled off and move forward. But it's not there yet. I'm not there yet. I'm waiting, so impatient and so anxious for the future, so annoyed by the past...I'm waiting to move forward and be myself, to stop hanging on this peg.

The past three years have been an incredible roller coaster of a journey in regards to my health. I've made so many changes, tried so many things. And at what cost?

Right now, I'm extremely impatient with the future of my skin and the future of pain. I have some major decisions to make in the next couple of months...decisions that I wish I could have made months ago. I'm waiting on the endometriosis diagnosis/surgery. And I'm waiting to decide on Accutane/birth control pills...extremely impatient about this one.

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What a weekend. What a month really. The past few weeks have been non-stop forward movement for me. Every weekend, I'm heading home for doctor's appointments or JDRF Walks or just "family" time. And all through the week, I'm running between classes, errands, friends, and daily happenings. My to do list is insanely long, filled with essays, exams, oil changes, grocery shopping, and cleaning.

Thankfully, my numbers seem to be settling down. I increased the Lantus dose by one unit back on Wednesday. And it worked until about Friday when I started seeing an endless amount of lows. I was stuck in the 60's, no matter what. So today I've lowered it back down to my usual dosage...hoping that I can get higher numbers, but not too high.

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When you look at me, what do you see? Do you just see the physical girl standing in front of you? Or do the emotions, the spirituality, the thoughts creep through as well?

When I look in the mirror, I see that I'm tall for a girl. I see that I have my father's blue eyes and the Guerin nose. I also see that my mother's side of the family shows through with the curve of my hips. When I look at me, I see my family staring back at me. Each part of my body comes from the genetics behind me. The resemblance in facial structure to my middle brother...the same fair skin of my mom and oldest brother...the small wrists that are present in all three siblings.

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This morning, I went for a second opinion on my current reproductive status. Back in late August, my Well Woman Exam turned into a possible endometriosis diagnosis. So I decided to go for another opinion before pursuing further treatment options.

And I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised by the doctor. New doctors are always interesting, especially those related to gynecology. But this doctor reinforced the idea that doctors can actually be helpful, understanding, and interested in what you actually feel or need.

So his opinion was that endometriosis is the likely choice as to the causes of some of my reproductive issues. Since I've tried most of the obvious treatment choices (NSAIDs, birth control pills, and pain management), the next step for a woman my age is surgery.

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There's a lot on my mind lately. Some good, some bad, some neutral. Mostly, it's confusion and decisions. And mostly, it has to do with my health...of course.

I started a new prescription called Spironolactone (or Aldactone) on September 1 to help with the side effects of my PCOS. It's supposed to take about three months to truly see results, but I feel like I'm already seeing some effects. My skin, although still breaking out, is not nearly as bad as it was a few weeks ago. Granted, I'm using tea tree oil and Mederma religiously. So I can't really say if the "Spiro" is helping for sure, but it obviously isn't hurting in that area.

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I'm a self-proclaimed adventurer. I love to try new things, go to all sorts of places, and I'm always up for a challenge. So college seemed like it'd be one huge adventure in life. But three years ago, I sat down to apply to colleges and had no idea as to what I wanted. Plus there was one major issue looming over me: my health.

I've always known that diabetes would keep me a little more cautious than most. But I've never let it stop me. I played sports, I took trips, I even went zip-lining through the jungle last year. Diabetes means that I plan much more than the average person, that I don't just pick up and leave without extreme consideration. I never thought it would hold me back.

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