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As a parent, it's my job to take care of my daughter, to teach her right from wrong, help her with homework and generally get her ready for life on her own. When I talk to other parents, parents of children who don't have diabetes, I always get the same thing: That sympathetic little moue and a pitying "Oh, it must be so hard on you. I don't know how you can check her sugar/give her shots/change her infusion site. I could never do that."
Hard on ME? Hard on ME??! What about my daughter? How about taking a second to think about how this disease is going to impact her life? Yes, it's challenging raising a child with diabetes, but she's my CHILD. Of course I can check her sugar, give her shots and change her infusion sites and I do it willingly because, you idiot, if I didn't, she'd be DEAD.
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So, hi. I haven't been around for a bit. No excuses, really, other than life getting in the way.
Well, life and a bit of embarrassment thrown in for good measure. You see, I've fallen off the logging wagon.
I know why. We had to move and I packed up the computer that had the log sheet program on it. For a couple of weeks, while all of our stuff was in boxes, I just didn't log. And I rarely looked at Olivia's pump or meter, either. I'd ask her every day how she was doing, but other than that, nothing.
When I would go over her numbers, I could find no pattern to her highs and lows. Nothing was jumping out at me and it was frustrating and unfortunately, I stuck my head in the sand over it.
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So, hi. I haven't been around for a bit. No excuses, really, other than life getting in the way.
Well, life and a bit of embarrassment thrown in for good measure. You see, I've fallen off the logging wagon.
I know why. We had to move and I packed up the computer that had the log sheet program on it. For a couple of weeks, while all of our stuff was in boxes, I just didn't log. And I rarely looked at Olivia's pump or meter, either. I'd ask her every day how she was doing, but other than that, nothing.
When I would go over her numbers, I could find no pattern to her highs and lows. Nothing was jumping out at me and it was frustrating and unfortunately, I stuck my head in the sand over it.
(READ MORE)
I am not a religious person. I was raised a Quaker, which has directly influenced how I feel about religion. I understand people have faith, I respect it, I just don't.
But when I read about the family in WI who allowed their daughter to die due to untreated type 1 diabetes, preferring to pray for God to heal her instead, I was absolutely livid. How could you allow your child to stop talking and walking and just think that's ok? Just think that God will make it all better?
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"Dad, am I going to get diabetes?"
This was the part I was dreading. I knew this question was going to come up but how do I respond? Do I tell her about my
fears. How I do not know how I could live with myself if you had this terrible disease? Do I mention the fear she may have to live with for the rest of her life? Should I mention how she may not but her future
kids could get it? How should I respond?
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Being a dad has lots of challenges. Heck, being a parent is the best but scariest job you can have! But having diabetes and being a parent has its own unique challenges.
I find that when my kids witness a low or any
complication with my disease I end up feeling guilty. Why should they have to worry about their father at such a young age? They have enough to worry about. I hate it.
One evening my kids started asking lots of questions about diabetes and of course, I am always willing to talk to them about anything they are questioning. My son asked, "Are we going to get diabetes?"
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Long day.
Long day after a long night after a long day after a long night. Tired. Very tired.
Not in mood tonight to negotiate with Charlie when he throws a minor tantrum because it's shower time.
Angry dad voice comes out. I hate my angry dad voice. I hate using it on any of my kids, but I'm especially regretful after the fact with Charlie.
Charlie whips his head back on to the couch and then lays face down on the floor. I've asked him five times now to come up with me for a shower.
"Charlie! Get. Upstairs. Now!"
He crawls upstairs slowly on hands and knees like a weak desert wanderer searching for water. "Can't," he moans. "I'm so tired."
I'm certain he'd be up the stairs like a leopard if said let's play a video game.
"Charlie! Now!"
The voice in my head tells me
he can't be low, you just tested him. Don't fall for it. He's just being a 5 year old not getting his way. (READ MORE)
Long day.
Long day after a long night after a long day after a long night. Tired. Very tired.
Not in mood tonight to negotiate with Charlie when he throws a minor tantrum because it's shower time.
Angry dad voice comes out. I hate my angry dad voice. I hate using it on any of my kids, but I'm especially regretful after the fact with Charlie.
Charlie whips his head back on to the couch and then lays face down on the floor. I've asked him five times now to come up with me for a shower.
"Charlie! Get. Upstairs. Now!"
He crawls upstairs slowly on hands and knees like a weak desert wanderer searching for water. "Can't," he moans. "I'm so tired."
I'm certain he'd be up the stairs like a leopard if said let's play a video game.
"Charlie! Now!"
The voice in my head tells me
he can't be low, you just tested him. Don't fall for it. He's just being a 5 year old not getting his way. (READ MORE)
Long day.
Long day after a long night after a long day after a long night. Tired. Very tired.
Not in mood tonight to negotiate with Charlie when he throws a minor tantrum because it's shower time.
Angry dad voice comes out. I hate my angry dad voice. I hate using it on any of my kids, but I'm especially regretful after the fact with Charlie.
Charlie whips his head back on to the couch and then lays face down on the floor. I've asked him five times now to come up with me for a shower.
"Charlie! Get. Upstairs. Now!"
He crawls upstairs slowly on hands and knees like a weak desert wanderer searching for water. "Can't," he moans. "I'm so tired."
I'm certain he'd be up the stairs like a leopard if said let's play a video game.
"Charlie! Now!"
The voice in my head tells me
he can't be low, you just tested him. Don't fall for it. He's just being a 5 year old not getting his way. (READ MORE)
Many of us have wondered "Why me?" when confronting this disease. It’s easy to get caught up in pity when you’re diagnosed with a chronic illness. We want a reason for our diabetes. Not a medical cause, but a legitimate human reason. What did we do to bring this on ourselves? Is it some sort of punishment? Is it a test? Is it God’s/god’s/the universe’s doing?
The "Why me?" question seems to be a necessary phase in order to fully cope with diabetes. Granted, we may never find a true answer to why this happens to us, but processing the information and coming to terms with it helps us deal.
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