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December 1st, 2008
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As everyone knows by now, my blood sugars have been elevated lately. Since about last Tuesday, my averages suddenly shot up into the 200s when usually I average 140s. All last week I was scared to make any changes just because I couldn't figure out why I was running so high. It's always my luck the day I increase basals that my blood sugars will drop back down and I'll end up with horrible lows. So I just kept blousing and tried to really watch what I ate to keep my levels down. Nothing worked. (READ MORE)


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I've always been blessed with fairly amazing insurance. My dad worked for the city of Houston for several decades, so our family has always had the group policy with a large subscriber base and it's stayed the same since I was born.

 

After he retired, we kept the same insurance as part of his pension plan. Our co-pays rarely change for either doctors or prescriptions. They pay roughly eighty percent of most procedures and devices. And since I was blessed with a stable income family, I'm able to afford the $45 copays and twenty percent of the pump.

 

But in the last few years and with the new health issues, my health bills seem to be piling up. And with the economy the way it is, I'm starting to stress about how to pay for some of the necessary (and probably not so necessary) items.

 

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Yesterday morning, I started having a specific kind of pain. It was the same pain that started with my ovarian cyst back in April. I dreaded how the day might progress.

 

The pain went off and on as I went to class and work. I felt like I had been transported back to April. All the signs were there.

 

Throughout the day, my blood sugars had been perfect. I was amazed. But as the pain became more consistent, my blood sugars started to rise.

 

After dinner, my blood sugar was 387. And so it began...just like April. I knew that I had bolused correctly for my meal and hadn't eaten any food that should cause a spike like that. I was sure that the pain and the blood sugars were connected.

 

Just like in April, I bolused to bring my blood sugar down. And just like in April, they wouldn't come down. Bolus after bolus, pumping insulin into my body.

 

(READ MORE)


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Diabetes is never just one disease to handle. Sure, technically, medically, or definitively, diabetes is simply one disease. But in the daily management of the disease, it's a complex ball of diseases and risks.

 

Most of us understand the complications that come along with diabetes. We know that better control lowers our risk for all of those complications. We understand that those complications sometimes have a mind of their own, that despite years of good control they might still creep into our lives.

 

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I really don't like going to the doctor. The endocrinologist to be specific. Every time I go, I just seem to leave disappointed. Sometimes it's less disappointment than others. Sometimes I'm just so angry at myself and at this disease. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I get mad at the doctor (because OF COURSE, it's HIS fault I'm diabetic!). But mostly, the doctor just makes me feel alone in what I feel.

 

Today I had an endo appointment (if you didn't already guess). My last A1c was 6.9, my lowest ever. I was absolutely thrilled at that number, yet the perfectionist in me still wanted lower. And I honestly tried for lower (less in the last month or so though). But life got in the way.

 

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Today, October 10th, is the Great Virtual Breast Fest. What on earth is that, you may ask?

Well, recently, Bill Maher equated breastfeeding in public to masturbating in public. Um, what?! Facebook has removed pictures that women have posted of themselves, nursing their babies. They will, however, allow pro-anorexia groups and even pedophiles. Breastfeeding, however, is verboten. Lovely.

I don't understand this obsession with breasts and with making breastfeeding out to be something obscene, something that should be done in a toilet or under a blanket or hey, how about you just don't leave the house while you're breastfeeding that kid because I might see a bit of skin while I'm scarfing down my wings at Hooters. People are totally ridiculous on the subject.
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I decided to try the bioidentical hormone treatment. After reading books, studies and general information, I feel that I made an educated decision. I went to a seminar and personally talked to the doctor who founded the clinic. I spent hours on the web looking through positive and negative feedback from research studies, personal stories and major medical journals. And I used my brain.

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With a tainted past of endless symptoms ranging from irregular periods to joint pain, I am constantly looking for new ways to manage my life. By manage my life I mean that I look for new techniques to relieve stress, I change my surroundings to optimize my happiness and I closely examine the medical choices I have to make. This all started about three years ago. Right after my senior year in high school, I started experiencing an array of symptoms. Slowly, they all compounded leaving me with an entire page of bullet points of things going wrong with me. Joint pain, muscle weakness, fatigue, irregular and painful periods, headaches, ear aches, mood swings and so on. (READ MORE)


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...I don't want to make the effort. This has absolutely nothing to do with the amount of insulin I take or optimal blood sugar control--although those aspects of dropping a few pounds would certainly be welcome.
I simply hate the way I look. I can't stand how I look in a mirror. I wonder all the time if people are staring at my thunder things or three-baby-having flabby abdomen. Realistically I know I'm the one focusing on these issues, but as a girl I still wonder what others think.
It's ironic, but I find myself being judgemental of other plus-size women. How can she be taken seriously when she's so chunky? I'm sure the judgements go both ways, and I suppose this affects my self-confidence in a way I haven't been able to truly see.
It's easy to pick apart all the things that I don't like about my body, and I don't look at myself too long in a mirror, and I often imagine how other people see me. (READ MORE)


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Scott Marvel
Scott lives an active life with type 1 diabetes. Aiming to stay on top of his unexpected diagnosis, he puts a strong foot forward to stay in control.
Living life in the sun and fulfilling his dreams, Scott tries to educate himself, and others, on the unquestionable possibilities of a life with type 1 diabetes.(Read More)


Latest Posts: Get Emotional On World Diabetes Day | Bring On Flu Season | Out of Pocket Pumping

Rebecca Abma
What happens when a health writer develops a chronic illness? As Rebecca K. Abma can tell you, it turns into an obsession. Since being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes in December 2003, 90 percent of her non-work computer time is spent researching the disease and chatting with fellow diabetics. (Read More)

Latest Posts: Mail Order Madness | Dreaming of Diabetes | Superstitious

Our Other Bloggers: Lindsey Guerin, Carey Potash, Julia, George Simmons, Michelle Kowalski, Nicole Purcell, Kim Doty, Kerri Morrone, Andy Bell
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