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Diabetes has made me a hypochondriac. Every ache, every pain, every change is some condition, disease or syndrome. Now typically I don't truly believe I have any of the things I so often "self-diagnose," but I have to admit that I am constantly living in the shadow of my diabetes.
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I want to be the Little Mermaid. I want my ocean life to turn to land. I want to suddenly be able to cross to the other side. I want a day without diabetes. Just one day.
If I could imagine a day without diabetes... it would be hard to know where to start. Maybe I'd go jogging and not worry about getting low hours later. Maybe I would make my day on a holiday so I could eat anything I wanted without thinking about boluses and temp basals.
Certainly I would rejoice in not being glued to an insulin pump and infusion set. I would get rid of the calluses on my fingers from the eight finger sticks a day. I wouldn't worry about heightened risks for heart disease, glaucoma, or even the common cold.
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We all know that diabetics have an increased risk of everything from heart disease to kidney disease to glaucoma. Because of this increased risk, it is very important for diabetics to have regular checkups in many fields. Personally, I am always scheduling appointments for one thing or another. My main appointments include the following:
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Diabetes is hard work. Everyday I use my brain to survive and thrive. Every day I'm a mathematician, nutritionist and doctor.
I add carbs together, often so naturally I never give it a second thought (until three hours later when my levels leap up to 250). I subtract and add boluses to achieve an accurate dose. I figure percentages of basal rates to achieve a better A1c. I find the averages of blood sugars, insulin totals and daily carb counts (or let my high tech meter and pump do it for me). My brain is full of numbers and levels just waiting to be added, divided and analyzed.
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