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I posted last week about feeling out of the ordinary and just plain sick. It was off and on all week with some days feeling great and others feeling terrible. I waited it out through the weekend, trying to take it easy as much as possible and eat as best as I could.
I thought I'd made it through without needing anything other than my immune system. But Tuesday night, I was feeling the worst I'd felt so far. I had suspected a urinary tract infection before, but now I was almost positive. The urgency, the pain, all those telling symptoms were all much worse. To top it off, my blood sugars were lingering in the 200's despite boluses.
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This is not the post I intended to write this morning.
Today, I woke up to a fasting of 151, which is pretty darn good considering where I've been lately. I dressed for my morning walk, sat on the couch and ate what I'm now referring to as a snack--a small cup of yogurt, just 15 grams of carbs. It was all I needed to sustain me through my walk. I used to eat half of a peanut butter sandwich, but it's really hard to choke down that much dryness before the sun even comes up. But I digress.
I decided that with a fairly decent fasting, so few carbs and a 30-minute walk upon me that I didn't need to take any insulin. I mean, 15 grams of carbs! C'mon!
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Today was my Aunt Lisa's funeral.
It was a beautiful service that honored her and brought up lots of good memories. She will be missed but never forgotten.
One of the pluses that comes out of tragedy is the time you get to spend with your family. Sure, a funeral is never the event where you want to have a reunion. Weddings and birthday parties are much better but with my family, things are always good when we get together.
I spent most of the time visiting with my uncles, aunts and cousins. We talked about all the members of the family we have lost. Lots of tears and belly laughs could be heard throughout my uncles house.I was nice.
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On more than one occasion I've been rather surprised at how low a post-meal or random blood sugar check is. Not in a 'wow-I-did-good' kind of way; more like a 'geez-I'm-53-and-not-feeling-it' kind of way.
I don't consider myself to "suffer" from hypo unawareness, but it's safe to say that I get it quite often. I remember plenty of times waking to a fasting of around 60 and feeling great.
So when I have a day like today, it really drives me crazy.
After lunch, I was feeling pretty shaky. Not terribly low shaky, just like a going-low kind of shaky that I knew needed to be dealt with soon or it would get bad. I expected to be in the 60s and was quite shocked with an 83. I treated, thankful that I caught it early and went on my way.
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It's 9:45 p.m. Sunday night and I'm sifting through the clean laundry basket in search of socks for
tomorrow's early morning walk. Because I promised myself that I'd start tomorrow. I've talked to myself all weekend, saying things like, "Remember, you're going to get up and walk on Monday morning." Saying it cheerfully in my head and actually doing it are very different accomplishments.
I can feel it already. The struggle I'll have in the morning of simply not wanting to get out of bed. It's 9:45 p.m. and I said I'd be in bed by 10 p.m., but so far I haven't worked toward that. It's going to be a struggle in the morning and I know I'm going to have to fight to get my overweight ass out of bed.
Please, God, give me the strength to get out of bed in the morning and actually go for a walk. (READ MORE)
I feel like I've been getting sick for about a week now. I was just feeling "off" after last week's finals. I decided it was due to lack of a balanced schedule, the added stress, and being a woman. So I generally ignored it, going on with my daily health routines.
But Sunday, I woke up with that "blah" feeling. It's worse than "off" because you really do feel sick, but not sick enough to just curl up in bed. My blood sugars were a little elevated. I felt like I might be getting a urinary tract infection (figuring it was from my crazy numbers in the last month) or being graced with "that time of the month."
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His knees are bent.
Like a frog.
His nostril whistles.
He sleeps peacefully.
He's 56.
"Charlie," I whisper into the dead of night, giving him a slight nudge.
The ceiling fan hums.
"Charlie, you're low. Have some juice."
"Charlie!"
So many nights I've whispered these words into his sleeping ears. So many nights for four-and-a-half years. So many nights Susanne has. So many nights other moms and dads around the world whisper the very same words to their children in the darkness. We need a cure.
He keeps his eyes closed.
He just nods and opens his mouth when he feels the straw poking at his lips.
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I was in my truck today picking up some fast food from Mickey D's. I typically don't eat
fast food. Actually, I never do- but today I was in a hurry and I just wanted to get something fast and not have to put to much thought into it. As I was ordering, I realized that with diabetes there is no such thing as just a "quick little meal". Any time I eat something, I have to put some serious thought and effort into it. Everyday, I put serious energy and brain power towards calculating things in my head.
My life revolves around eating and calculating.
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Sometimes I joke that my self-worth is wrapped up in my eyebrows; when they're well groomed, I feel great, but when they need to be tamed, I think I'm ugly. These days, my self-worth is wrapped up in my blood sugar readings. And I'm not sure that's a good thing.
Do you ever do that? The day is going along fine, then you get a reading that you don't "deserve" and the day just falls to pot? It's happening to me more and more lately. Some days, even before I lift my head off the pillow, the day is "ruined" by a high fasting number. My mind starts racing to what I did (or didn't do) to "earn" such a high number. Did I eat something I shouldn't have last night? Did I not exercise enough? It's first thing in the morning and already I'm feeling bad, guilty, like I did something wrong. Even if I hadn't.
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Last week I
posted about my Insurance company giving me a scare about approving my insulin pump supplies.
Well, using a Minimed insulin pump in Southern California has its advantages since their products are shipped out of Northridge which is about 30 minutes from my house. Almost in my backyard! So my order which was sent via UPS 3-day select arrived at the Simmons house the very next day!
This made my
stress level drop tremendously which we all know is good for the diabetes.
So that covers the first part of this post title. Now to the blogging.
I mentioned this insurance situation on my
personal blog, where I often rant about my ups and downs with diabetes, and the coolest thing happened.
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