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A pilot in Denton, Texas, made an emergency landing near a freeway yesterday because he felt lightheaded. Only one media source stated he was diabetic. Yet the article made every major newspaper in the area.
Thursday, I drove down the highway in rush hour traffic digging through my bag and eating everything I had with me. As I stuffed the glucose tabs into my mouth, I sat wondering about my fellow drivers. Were any of them diabetic? Had they driven this low before? Would they be mad because I was driving low (granted we didn't reach speeds above 15 mph)?
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As much as I complain or write emotional entries about this disease, I do have my days where I am thankful. Today is one of those days. I have to say that without diabetes I would lack some major motivation! I have to remind myself that without this disease I wouldn't be so motivated to stay healthy or be the person that I am. It's funny, because at any given time I could be feeling completely irritated by it or absolutely thankful. Because of Diabetes mellitus I am fit, driven, and obsessed with good food!
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As a magazine editor, I am deadline driven. The closer I get to one, the harder I work. I think I've always been this way. In college I tended to leave big projects, studying for tests and semester-grade-defining papers until almost the last minute. I've joked for some time that the reason I haven't written The Great American Novel yet is because no one has given me a deadline for it. I'm like those card-playing patients in Awakenings-someone just has to play the first card.
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A hot topic around my office--and in my email inbox--is food. If we're not talking about what's for lunch or dinner by 9 a.m. something's wrong.
My cooking is driven by few things--mainly time and ease. I'm like a four-ingredient cook. If it takes more than about 20 minutes of prep and actual cooking, I likely won't do it. While I like baking more than cooking, baking still has to be quick and easy. It's that whole patience thing that I lack.
A few days ago I was at a friend's house for dinner. She made an incredible chicken dish, good enough to make at home. But when she started rattling off the recipe, I lost interest--too many ingredients=too much to do.
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The day that I moved out of my mom's house, my mom cried the entire way home from my new apartment. Not only was she losing her daily companion, but she was scared. All moms get scared when their kids move out, of course. But moms of diabetics have a completely different perspective.
She had seen me have two seizures before. She'd been there when I blacked out in the grocery store when moments earlier I was feeling fine. She'd driven me to the emergency room when I was sick, in fear of DKA. She'd watched me grow up with this disease, in the highs and lows, quite literally.
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"Break! Break!" Charlie screams, a blue vein bulging from his neck. Susanne has Charlie over her lap and has barely begun pulling the edge of the tape when Charlie begs for a break, warm tears filling his eyes.
So much of Charlie's routine has gotten easier over time. Shots were very difficult in the beginning. He hated it. But eventually, it got better - his squirminess lessened. He'd just lean over, grit his teeth and exhale when it was over.
Site changes, on the other hand, have only gotten worse with time. Charlie's latest site change was awful. Seems like the bigger he gets, the bigger his resistance to it is.
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Diabetes has made me a hypochondriac. Every ache, every pain, every change is some condition, disease or syndrome. Now typically I don't truly believe I have any of the things I so often "self-diagnose," but I have to admit that I am constantly living in the shadow of my diabetes.
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Family. Health. Necessities.
We were all thankful for so much as we shared our turkey feast this year. We are spending the Thanksgiving weekend in Albuquerque New Mexico this year with my sisters and mother. Having to make a 13 hour drive made me thankful for
low carb snacks and caffeine too.
The thing that stands out as I contemplate the meal last night was the laughter I heard and participated in. I laughed a lot. We brought up old memories of family events and funny stories. Joked about each others habits and quirks, and just laughed at my kids and my nieces being silly. It was a lot of fun and so comforting.
One of the few qualities I have is the ability to make people laugh. I love to poke fun at myself, the world, and pretty much everything! I am also good about not being mean but just funny. All and all it was a very good time.
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I want to be healthy. I want to live as long as I can. I want to be complication free. I want to not have diabetes.
3 of those 4 statements above I can actually do something about. I can watch what I eat, exercise, and check my blood sugar all the time. I cannot cure myself but if I can take care of the other three then I would be doing pretty good in my book.
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Have you ever had a diabetes moment that called for desperate measures?
I've had a few too many to count.
Picture this.
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