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My son came to me the other night and asked if he could ask me some questions about diabetes. One thing I never do is turn away an opportunity to talk to my kids about diabetes. I want them to understand, as much as they can, about what diabetes is.
Maybe this is not true for other people with diabetes but a part of me is waiting for this disease to go after my kids. I am guessing that it's normal to not want your kids to deal with what you have to but sometimes I worry that I worry too much!
When I asked what brought on this interview he explained to me that it was for a paper he is working on for school. And with that the interview began.
He asked me to tell him all about diabetes to which I responded with something like, "We do not have enough time for that dude. Tell me what you know and I will fill in and add from there."
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See that cat, he's jumping for joy - in spite of early-morning stressors...
I thought for sure I was going to be late.
I got in my car at 7:20 - I'd have enough time to make it into Providence for my
8:00 appointment with the doc - with time to spare. But there was traffic. A lot of it.
I was fairly certain my blood pressure would be through the roof when I finally arrived at the doctor's office 5 minutes late.
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Diabetes has had us back on our heels and off-balance since school started. Charlie has had very high blood sugars. In turn, we're doing a lot of guessing. Guessing is not a great strategy when dealing with a major disease. Such is life with diabetes.
It is during these times that diabetes likes to send a message. It likes to bring you down to size and remind you that you're not in control. Just as we were about to make changes to deal with the constant highs, the unexpected sound of panic lifts me from my chair.
"Carey! Juice box now!!! He's very low!!!"
I pop from my chair like a firefighter responding to an alarm and grab two juice boxes. I can hear Susanne's voice growing louder as I make my way upstairs.
"CHARLIE! CHARLIE! I NEED YOU TO WAKE UP!"
"CHARLIE!"
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If I could do one thing the next 3 weeks, it would be a vacation from my type 2 diabetes, weight issues and actually, my health entirely. Even one day seems like it would be divine.
Warning -
"food fantasies" follow.
I would eat pastries for breakfast, and have another one or two for a morning coffee break (I do love me some carbs). Perhaps a nice Eggs Benedict. And oh, yes, I would have pumpkin spice lattes until I shook from the caffiene.
I would eat homemade cream of mushroom soup for lunch, or a nice lobster bisque, full of heavy cream. Then I would take a nap, just because I wanted one, not because my blood glucose was at 200.
Homemade cookies with full-sugar cocoa and lots of marshmallows for afternoon snack.
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If I could do one thing the next 3 weeks, it would be a vacation from my type 2 diabetes, weight issues and actually, my health entirely. Even one day seems like it would be divine.
Warning -
"food fantasies" follow.
I would eat pastries for breakfast, and have another one or two for a morning coffee break (I do love me some carbs). Perhaps a nice Eggs Benedict. And oh, yes, I would have pumpkin spice lattes until I shook from the caffiene.
I would eat homemade cream of mushroom soup for lunch, or a nice lobster bisque, full of heavy cream. Then I would take a nap, just because I wanted one, not because my blood glucose was at 200.
Homemade cookies with full-sugar cocoa and lots of marshmallows for afternoon snack.
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To sum up Charlie's recent doctor's visit in which we greatly anticipated an improved A1c result, the words of two great American female poets come to mind.
"First, when there's nothing but a slow glowing dream
That your fear seems to hide deep inside your mind
All alone I have cried silent tears full of pride
In a world made of steel, made of stone
What a feeling, bein's believin'
I can't have it all, now I'm dancin' for my life
Take your passion, and make it happen
Pictures come alive, you can dance right through your life" - Irene Cara
And of course ,.
"Whoa, maybe he's no romeo
But he's my lovin one-man show
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
Let's hear it for the boy" - Deniece Williams
Incidentally, I honestly always thought the Irene Cara lyric was "take your pants off and make it happen" rather than "take your passion and make it happen." Very risqué and quite unlikely even for the mid-80s, but that's just how I heard it.
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Been having weird dreams... Guess I'm a little anxious about the endo tomorrow... So in honor of odd dreams and anxiety:
Twas the night before my endo appointment, when all through the place
Not a meter was stirring, had my pump at my waist
My gym clothes were tucked in my backpack with care,
And I hoped that my work would show on the scale.
And I was nestled all snug in my bed,
While visions of low A1Cs danced in my head.
And me in my 'kerchief, and Bob in his cap,
Had just settled our brains for an early fall nap.
When in a weird dream there arose such a clatter,
The doctor he told me everything was the matter.
He said that my A1C had risen so fast,
And my weight was through the roof, I was simply aghast.
The moon it showed down as I tossed to and fro
The bad news continued from my dreamland endo.
When, what to my sleeping brain did appear
But a 400 plus cholesterol number, and my control-loss so clear.
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On such a winter's day.
I had another diabetes dream last night. It was even more horrible than
the last one I had. The one where I was testing Charlie and a blue liquid spilled from his finger rather than blood.
At 2:17 am, I scrambled in the darkness and found a nubby pencil the size of a cigarette butt and scrap paper to jot it all down before it faded fast from my memory. I should have just stayed in bed and let this terrible dream disappear.
[WARNING: gets a bit heavy]
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I have vivid dreams. When I close my eyes at night, a whole new world appears, in living color. My dreams hold smells and sounds and sights that often rival the sensory reality of my waking life. There have been times when I could swear I've seen people, had conversations, and done things in real life, when these memories were simply creations of my sleeping mind. I know that I talk, run, laugh, and cry while I sleep; something that makes sharing a bed with me a real challenge. I suppose that the vividness of my dreams might be a reflection of the constant activity in my brain.
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I was at work, walking toward the cafeteria when Bert grabbed me. I play soccer with Bert. He was shaking and moving in clumsy circles and clearly disoriented. I immediately got out my testing supplies and checked his blood sugar. I snapped the pricker against his finger and blood drops spilled out continuously like a leaky faucet. When I saw the 7 on the meter screen, my heart stopped beating for a moment. I had never seen single digits. I sat Bert down in a chair and screamed for help. "I need juice!
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