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One of the things I hate most about diabetes is that I never get a day off. I always have blood sugars to check. I have to count every carb accurately. Or I have to face the consequences. Which is exactly what I did today.
After finishing my last final exam for the semester at 8:30am, I decided to celebrate. I bought donuts and kolaches for a little celebration breakfast with a friend. I hadn’t eaten donuts since before starting on the pump (they aren’t something I indulge in all that often), so I wasn’t sure how the day was going to turn out.
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Fasting: 75. Not unheard of for me, but since I was 216 before bed, I really expected to be in the 100s.
Although I really want to give Byetta a good test by having cereal for breakfast this morning, I decide to go with a bagel instead. At least that way I can see how the medicine works when I don't go into a meal so high.
I am itching to test my sugar at one hour post, but convince myself to wait for two hours. At the 1 hour and 15 minute mark, a coworker comes in with donuts. "Did you take insulin?" she wants to know, showing the donuts off. I explain about the new medicine and that I want to see how it was working before I go off the deep end. I am proud of my will power.
Two hours post breakfast: 84. Ok, I officially love Byetta. However, I'm anxious to see what happens with lunch.
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I have been keeping a dirty little secret. I don't know why it feels like a dirty little secret, it's legal in 50 states and not immoral.
I've told everyone I haven't needed insulin since Kate was born. I was up to 30+ units a day of NPH. I haven't taken any NPH since her birthday. I also had an insulin pen of Humulin for the days that I just didn't control myself at lunchtime. Sometimes it was lunch out with the girls, or birthday cake at work, or just unfortunate run-ins with the evil vending machine. But it was important to control my sugars for the baby's sake, so I did what I needed to do.
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Recently, my mom and I were talking about our eating habits. When she was a teacher, she said, there were typically goodies in the teacher's lounge. Every carb-heavy, sugar-filled concoction you could imagine. From donuts to stolens to cookies and cakes. She said if she could just hold out until the kids left for the day, she felt pretty good about making it home without touching anything. If she happened to grab one of those treats first thing in the morning, though, she was extra super diligent for the rest of the day, she said.
"Oh, man! Not me!" I said. The earlier I cheat, the more likely I am to be bad for the rest of the day. She was shocked at my admission.
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Scanning the aisles of the grocery store, I was looking for something brownie-ish. As usual, I was assaulted by the donut counter as soon as I walked in the door (location, location, location!). But with no chocolate cake donuts with chocolate icing, it was easy for me to walk past. I quickly perused the bakery area for something tantalizing, and was actually pleased that nothing struck my fancy.
I have learned lately that when I have a craving I have to be very specific with myself or I wind up eating more that I bargained for because I'm not satisfied. So I can't go after something that's "just chocolate." I have to consider texture, temperature and portion size.
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Being 17 at the time of diagnosis gives me some understanding of this years
World Diabetes Day theme of "How Diabetes affects
children and adolescents.
It was my senior year in High School. I had become Drum Major of the band. It was going to be a fun year but of course, diabetes had another plan.
I look back and remember the disbelief. The confusion that there was no cure. That I was destined to take insulin for the rest of my life. It was too much to handle on top of classes like Government and American Lit.
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Just the other day I was speaking with a group of co-workers about different life changing events in the life of someone with diabetes. As we sat there and talked about it I began to reflect on my own. I thought about the different times in my life such as diagnosis time, school, relationships, complications, and work. All things that every person living with diabetes can relate to, or will eventually deal with.
Where were you when you were diagnosed? What were you doing that day or at that particular time in your life? Were you at work? Were you at school? Did you go into a coma or diabetic ketoacidosis? Was your vision so blurry, that like me, you realized you couldn't see the picture on the t.v.?
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