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"I want you to walk ahead of me in case I get stopped," I said to The Mr. We were standing in one of the "expert traveler" lines at the security checkpoint at LAX. Although I had been searched twice in my last three air travels, I thought I was free since I had gotten through security the last time without being searched.
It was particularly dark in this part of the airport. I was particularly emotional having dealt with a screaming No. 3 for about 45 minutes. We had been on vacation and she was completely off schedule and crabby. I had a feeling that I was going to get stopped coming through the security tent.
"I have an insulin pump," I said, holding my pump up for the screener to see. A mantra I had tried and not tried each time I went through security.
"OK, come on through," she said.
I beeped. I knew it.
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It happened when I was giving the baby a bath on Sunday evening. It was the first time in a week. It wasn't really a light bulb moment, just something that felt familiar. That oh yeah, I remember.
My four year old wanted to watch me, to "help" with the baby's bath. Everything she did made me want to scream-moving the step stool closer to the sink, talking jibber jabber to the baby, touching the water to make sure it wasn't too hot or cold. She wasn't being annoying, she wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary, she just wanted to be involved. And all I could do was tell her to Stop! Stop! Just Stop It! I was thinking Just Leave Me Alone,I Want To Do This Myself,Alone,Get Away From Me!
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I have been having some troubles finding the urge to blog lately. I really haven't felt like I've had anything that I consider worthwhile to share or to write about. At different times in my life I lose motivation to do things. During these times when I get down, I don't want to work, I don't want to take care of my diabetes, and I definitely don't feel like writing about it. But then again, as I write this and begin to feel the relief of getting things of my chest, I guess I do.
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I'm leaving for Mexico today on a little (much needed) vacation. This is only my second trip since being on the pump. My first trip went over quite smoothly. I have no idea what my blood sugars ran, but I don't recall anything too horrific. And I didn't have any problems traveling with my pump or supplies.
But each trip is a little different and always a little nerve-racking. What if I didn't bring enough supplies? What if my snacks cause a red flag through airport security? Worse, what if they think I'm some terrorist because of my pump? What if I have an emergency while I'm there, surely those hospitals aren't like home?
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I knew that walking around the huge Texas airport carrying two pieces of luggage would be strenuous. I also knew that the stress of making a flight and worrying about forgetting things would be a factor. So I lowered my basal by two increments about an hour before hitting the airport.
When we finally made it to the terminal, I checked in at 150. Perfect. I wanted to run a little higher than normal to avoid a low. I didn't bolus and kept my basals the same.
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Sitting at my desk Friday afternoon around 4 p.m., I was talking to one of the girls in the office. She sounded a little nasal. I thought to myself that it had been a long while since I could remember having a cold.
And it was like fate was listening to me right then because within an hour I was home,and sneezing! I knew a cold was coming. By the time I went to bed that night I knew things would be much worse in the morning. With hindsight being so in focus, I should have known something was up. For several days prior to getting this full blown cold, my sugars were unexpectedly high.
I had already decided that I wasn't going to walk Saturday morning because I was taking the kids to an air show at our small airport; we were meeting other people there at 8:30 and I wanted to sleep in just a bit. At the time I made this decision I wasn't sick, so I thought I would only miss one day of walking.
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I've been bragging for a few months now that Mom and Dad are flying my family, my brother's family and my single brother to
Catalina Island, Calif., in June to celebrate Mom's 60th birthday (which is in August). Having spent quite a bit of time at the beach as a youngster, I simply can't wait to introduce my children to the ocean.
Although the trip isn't until the first week of June, I've already done some preparing. I'm making mental lists of supplies I'll need for the kids, noting which suitcases to take, realizing I need to drop a few pounds, and even (gasp!) deciding to buy a new swim suit since it's been years since I had a new one. (I think I may need to be heavily sedated or severely drunk for that dressing room session!)
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I checked, double checked and triple checked the TSA website to make sure I knew every law before I made my flight. I found out diabetics can carry water, juice and all supplies on board the plane. I read all my rights when or if they searched me or my bag.
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In February and March we sought the guidance of diabetes author and coach Gary Scheiner to see if we too could "Think Like a Pancreas."
Our few meetings energized us briefly, but soon enough, we were back to feeling lost and utterly confused. After about five months, the pump wasn't working out as we hoped it would.
In April we decided to throw out all carb ratios and basal levels and begin with a clean slate, following more pump frustrations and a disappointing A1c of 9.6. We felt we hit rock bottom. We worked daily with the pump educator, tweaking and tweaking and tweaking and scratching our heads until we could tweak and scratch no more.
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