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I may write more about this on my personal blog - do check it out if you haven't already.
I have been wanting for a couple of weeks to write a post about a play I had the pleasure of taking in with my blogger friends Kerri, Julia, and Shannon. So, rather than write about the letter H, I'm going to write about
Some Things Are Private . The play is showing at Trinity Repertory Company in Providence, RI, where I have the pleasure of being employed.
Live theater is a fantastic medium. What other opportunity do people have, in this day and age, to sit together in a room and watch a moment, a day, a lifetime unfold before their very eyes? I am fortunate to work for a theater that also offers the audience the opportunity to stay after the show and discuss and reflect upon what they've seen. The discussions are always interesting, funny, and thought-provoking. If you've never been and would like to go, leave me a comment, I can make it happen.
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Blogging is difficult for me sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I love this website and everyone associated with the Blogabetes community. Each and every one of you continue to be an enormous help. I can come on here and rant and rave to the ENTIRE WORLD about my life with diabetes. I make friends, I laugh, I tear up, and it's all wonderful. It's fantastic and I have no doubt this will continue to be an extremely helpful thing for me and everyone else too. At times though, the only thing I crave is complete and utter privacy, freedom from the world of diabetes and from everything. The last thing on my mind is the desire to share one more personal diabetic experience with the world.
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It's very rare that I miss a day of work. VERY rare. I've called in sick only a handful of times in the last four years of my working life. I typically am a "bite the bullet" kind of girl and work at least a few hours when I'm feeling ill. So when I do call in sick, I'm usually very sick.
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Getting dressed Monday morning I thought to myself that today was the day when my office-mates would finally ask me about diabetes. Over the weekend workers moved our entire 120ish-person workforce from one not-yet-renovated building into temporary quarters in the newly renovated building.
As I unpacked my box, I gingerly tacked my "cure diabetes" pin from Beth onto my cube wall near my computer screen, my bag of emergency Jelly Belly's went onto the open shelf above my computer along with popcorn, granola bars, juice boxes and sugar-free cough drops. Something is bound to tip them off, I thought.
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Well, as you may have read in one of my earlier posts, I had my appointment yesterday with my endocronologist. I had also told you I was hoping for a good A1c and I knew if my test wasn't good, I could expect to have the "you're a great candidate for the pump" talk. Well, I got my test results back and I can honestly say that I had one of the highest A1c's that I have had in years. I was very dissapointed. I am actually so ashamed, embarrassed, and frustrated that I don't even want to share my number with you. Maybe, if you're reading this and you are diabetic like me, then you can relate to this feeling of not wanting anyone else to see your score. I even go out of my way to hide my blood glucose reading every time I test. I'll be the first one to admit that this fear comes from being insecure about what other people might think of me. Or fear that someone might make a judgement of either my health or my diabetes management based on the number.
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My girlfriend's calling me a diabetic angel, and not to brag, but I kind of feel like one. I experienced some kind of intervention yesterday, or at least something bigger than me, that connected me with a stranger.
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