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February 9th, 2012
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There are two very important people in my life who are considering weight loss surgery. I won't lie: I've thought about it, too.

 

I'm not really that excited, though, about the type of lifestyle you have to lead after bariatric surgery. Seems to me there's a lot of liquid involved and the recovery is long and slow. How would that affect my family? My family life? What about my job?

 

I've thought about a lap band, too. That seemed to be much less invasive and more my style. From what I understand, a lap band makes your stomach smaller and doesn't change the way your food is digested.

 

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I have had some major hurdles in my life and recently have been jumping over them one by one. Not with ease or speed but with planning, determination, and most of all accountability.
The hurdle I have now is weight loss. I have been fat all of my life (except right before I was diagnosed) and now it is time to shed those pounds. I joined weight watchers a while ago which I know I have mentioned here but I was just recently away for three weeks due to three things. One weigh in I skipped because I was just tired and slept in, another when I was sick, and the last was when we went out of town.
This last weekend I finally went back to weigh in for the first time in 2008. It was not pretty. I had gained 7 pounds in 3 weeks! I knew I had gained so it was not a total shock but there is a part of me that hopes for some sort of gravitational miracle as soon as I step on the scale. That did not happen of course. (READ MORE)


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I've been trying to stick to my new diet and exercise plan in hopes to lose weight. I did a good job on exercise until this week and I've kept up the food stipulations for about four weeks now. Yet I'm not losing any kind of weight. I'm not looking more toned. I'm exactly the same.

 

And I am so frustrated. I know that losing weight doesn't happen over night, but I can't even seem to get half a pound off much less a significant difference to make me feel better. I have to say that doesn't motivate me to keep going.

 

Today, I splurged on food and got lunch at Chick-fil-a and didn't pick a healthy option. I haven't run since last Thursday although I did move the entire weekend. But I can't seem to get my tennis shoes on or my behind into the gym this week. I just want to sleep and eat.

 

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As I mentioned before, I'm so far getting more out of my visits with my nutritionist than my actual therapist. I'm getting techniques and strategies, and feel free to talk about my issues without judgment -- even though I'm talking to a nutritionist who is very petite.

 

As she said it would be, it's hard. But I'm learning to talk to my inner child: "It's OK to have one cookie, but that's it." And I'm reminding myself constantly that if I want to lose weight that I can't eat that/can't have any more, etc.

 

In that respect, the therapy and the techniques are working. While I haven't lost any weight, I am definitely learning how to live differently.

 

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The last three weeks at Weight Watchers has opened my eyes up to an important fact.
The program works.
I know that sounds silly but hear me out. 4 weeks ago when I weighed in I was at 38 pounds lost. I was pretty excited about that and was looking forward to being past 40 pounds. Well, the two weeks following that weigh in were not good for me. In fact, I gained exactly .6 pounds each week. Since it was less then a pound I was not entirely upset but I was really hoping to get past that 40 pound mark. (READ MORE)


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I've been mysteriously absent from the blogging world again. My apologies! I've been busy with baby and holidays, and keeping myself healthy despite the viral-cold-winds that are a-blowing. With a school teacher husband, it's hard to keep germs out of the house!
I thought I'd touch base with a quick recap of the last few weeks.
I took the month of December off of blood sugar management to focus on weight loss. I rejoined Weight Watchers (I'm a lapsed lifer) and found a meeting that's more like family with a great leader, Kim. Despite the holidays, I managed to stick to the program. (READ MORE)


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I know that I am losing weight. You know it. All of my friends and family know it and it’s because I love to talk about it! I share my weight loss journey whenever and wherever I can.

 

But strangers don’t know. This time of year is filled with open houses, band performances, and other end of the year school stuff. Every time I walk into a room I quickly check to see if I am the “fat guy” in the room. I know it is a horrible habit but for most of life I always was. I still am that guy in many situations.

                            Fat Shadow

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I've lost 16 pounds in the past 7 months or so. The bulk of it was lost over the summer when I was working out on average four times a week. And the last few pounds slid off within the first month of school, with the increase in activity on a daily basis and the lack of frequent calorie consumption.

 

My clothes are baggy now. I have jeans from high school that I'm still squeezing into though, so I'm determined to lose a little bit more weight. My body feels better, looking in the mirror is much more appealing these days than it has been in the past. And I'm proud of myself for working so hard to make this happen.

 

So when I showed my mom a pair of pants that have about three inches to spare around the waist, her response threw me. "That's really great!" But it was followed with "Are you sure you're not losing weight because you're running high?"

 

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...I don't want to make the effort. This has absolutely nothing to do with the amount of insulin I take or optimal blood sugar control--although those aspects of dropping a few pounds would certainly be welcome.
I simply hate the way I look. I can't stand how I look in a mirror. I wonder all the time if people are staring at my thunder things or three-baby-having flabby abdomen. Realistically I know I'm the one focusing on these issues, but as a girl I still wonder what others think.
It's ironic, but I find myself being judgemental of other plus-size women. How can she be taken seriously when she's so chunky? I'm sure the judgements go both ways, and I suppose this affects my self-confidence in a way I haven't been able to truly see.
It's easy to pick apart all the things that I don't like about my body, and I don't look at myself too long in a mirror, and I often imagine how other people see me. (READ MORE)


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I've always loved my hair. I used to say it was one of my best features. Once I understood and appreciated my curls, I learned how to take care of them. Throughout college and before having kids, I had long (mid-back length), curly hair.

 

I started cutting my hair shorter around the time No. 1 was born. I would go back and forth between wanting it short and wanting it long. The Mr. has always liked my hair long, and I think for the most part I prefer it that way.

 

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Brenda Bell
Brenda BellBrenda was diagnosed with high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and Type 2 diabetes in July 2002. After a rocky start, her diabetes has been diet-controlled since January 2004 and she hopes to keep it that way for as long as possible. (Read More)
Carey Potash
Carey PotashCarey is a full-time hater of diabetes. The benefits stink. His 7-year-old son, Charlie, has been giving he and his wife the finger since November of 2003. Carey's parenting humor has appeared in various websites and print magazines. He resides in the suburbs of Philadelphia with his wife and three children. (Read More)
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