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"I totaled my truck”
I looked at my friend in shock. He did not look hurt or anything but his lower lip quivered enough to tell me it was bad.
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My mom and I were making the second round on our neighborhood walk. Before I left the house, I didn't do my usual pre-walk routine. Typically, I check my blood sugar and lower my basal by 40% for two hours. I'm not sure how I forgot to do all that, but it never even crossed my mind.
That was until I started to get really tired. I felt fine. No butterflies in my stomach. No fog surrounding my thoughts. Nothing to set off the LOW warning in my head. Except that I was dragging. My legs could barely move. My mom was steps ahead of me, walking at our normal pace.
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55, 48, 35. These numbers mean nothing really until you see them on the One Touch after testing because you feel a little off. Not low, just a little off. Or maybe you don't even feel off, you're just testing because you're about to eat lunch. These are the moments (like this one!) you start shoveling Skittles down your throat because the second you see that low is when you start to feel it. And it feels like s%$t!! (It's not easy to type when you're low, by the way.)
Happens on the other side of the spectrum for me, too. Sure there are times when cotton mouth, fatigue and a hideous headache clue me in to a ridiculous high, but there are just as many times when I feel perfectly fine and I find that I'm well over 200 or 300.
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Diabetes is never just one disease to handle. Sure, technically, medically, or definitively, diabetes is simply one disease. But in the daily management of the disease, it's a complex ball of diseases and risks.
Most of us understand the complications that come along with diabetes. We know that better control lowers our risk for all of those complications. We understand that those complications sometimes have a mind of their own, that despite years of good control they might still creep into our lives.
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Why is it that I can remain much calmer than those around me when it comes to diabetes? I can manage a low with ease, while my mom or my friend will freak out on me. No matter the severity, the past, or the person, it just seems I can keep composure better than them.
Last night, my mom and I went out for our usual walk. I had worked out earlier in the day, so I knew my blood sugar would probably be an issue. I cut my insulin back and drank a juice half way through the walk. Not long after, I felt the low coming on full force. It was bad, I knew that. Inside my own mind, I was thinking that I just needed to make it around the next part of the walk so we would be closer to the house.
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I've swallowed my pride and decided to apply for disability services here at school. They can offer me a few resources that I do not have access to otherwise. Most importantly, they give me the ability to register early for class and to notify my professor's that there is a legitimate health issue that I deal with.
The past two semesters, I've considered doing it, but I've also thought it was too embarrassing. But finally, things have gotten to the point where I'm realizing that it's not embarrassing, it's reality. So I've taken the initial steps to go through with it.
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