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May 27th, 2012
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Before you read any further, I want you to know that this is not a terribly uplifting post. And I won't fault you if you decide to stop reading now.
One of the worst parts of having diabetes, for me, is how vulnerable it makes me feel. In the past, I've expressed my fears related to this disease on this blog and my personal blog. I am not a person that lets fear deter me. I push on, I make my way in spite of the fact that I sometimes feel overwhelmed by the possibility of disaster that life presents.
But, you know, life with diabetes presents a whole other set of disastrous possibilities. (READ MORE)


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I was just sitting at my desk working on an extremely important project (FDL standings) when a co-worker stopped in his tracks as he walked by my desk, squinting into my eyes.
"Whoa! What happened to you?"
"Huh?"
"Did you get beat up?"
"What? No." I didn't know what the hell he was talking about.
"The purple under your eyes. Looks like you got beat up," he continued.
"Oh, that?" I said, touching the corner of my eye near the bridge of my nose. "No, that's just lack of sleep, I guess. That's what getting up every night at two or three in the morning will do to you." (READ MORE)


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Did you hear about this dad that found himself on the wrong side of the diabetes tracks? This may be ancient news by now, viewed from the internet eyes of the informed masses, but his story is touching and thought provoking. In North Platte, Nebraska a six year old little boy took over steering his father's vehicle after the man passed out from low blood sugar. While driving home from a restaurant dinner, the dad's blood sugar tanked and sent him slumping back into the driver's seat, without accelerating, but with the car still rolling down the road. His young son hopped on his dad's lap, grabbed the wheel and steered around until a patrolling police officer could intervene.

 

(READ MORE)


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I should not have worn shorts to the gym.  Even though it's like a bazillion degrees in there and running is more comfortable wearing them.  I should not have.  In fact, there's a reason I don't.  Running shorts, even if they're comfortable, show off "all those scars..." 

 

My thighs are one of my favorite pump site spots.  They don't reject the canula - which often happens on my hips and belly.  They don't get it the way of my clothes as happens with my arms.  So I probably over use them - just a little bit.  I try, mind you, to move away from there here or there, but old habits are pretty hard to break.  Funny, there was a time when I absolutely hated putting in thigh sites.  Not so much anymore.

 

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Ugh.

 

That is the perfect one word description of my diabetes management these days.  I am off the rails.  I am not on track.  I am completely (or so it seems) - out of control.  I see highs, I see lows, I see some in-range sugars - but mostly - not. 

 

Today, for example.  68 mg/dl this morning.  No breakfast, because I was too busy, just some Fuse Banana Colada juice.  119 mg/dl at around noon time.  Salad.  No test until 4pm.  4pm.  And I've tested two times today.  Then I'm 200 mg/dl...  So what do I do?  I have a carb heavy dinner and some ice cream.  I am 236 mg/dl at 6:30 pm.  I am 175 mg/dl now.  Terrible.  Terrible.  Terrible.  And not rare these days.

 

I haven't been to the gym at all this week.  Work activities.  Home searches...  Other stuff that's - distracting. 

 

(READ MORE)


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Singers are very passionate people and a lot of times the power behind their voices comes from the struggles that they have encountered in life. This was definitely the way I felt as I watched Elliott Yamin put on a passionate and heart-felt show here in Columbia Tuesday night. (READ MORE)


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The magazine I work for is not for health-care professionals. It’s not even close to being something read by health-care professionals. Yet the audience deals with health-care and insurance issues on a regular basis. So for me to read and edit a story about wellness or diseases is not uncommon.
 

I have become quite defensive of the truths about diabetes and of making sure people understand the differences between type 1 and type 2. As someone who was originally diagnosed with type 2 and who lived with that label for three years I know the blame that can be placed on the victim.
 

(READ MORE)


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Getting your kid pumped up about a pump is an odd thing. I mean, it is still a medical device after all - and a rather crude one at that. It’s not a box of Star Wars Legos. That’s for sure.

 

And the way Charlie runs away from the thing on site change day, you’d think I’m asking him to choose which bully he’d like to strap on 24/7.

 

Still, I do it anyway, thankful that he thinks getting a new pump is cool. The alternative would suck. I call Charlie over to look at the new pump he’ll be getting on the computer screen.

 

"Charlie! Wanna see your new pump??? Ooh! These are cool. I like the color "smoke." What do you think?"

 

My enthusiasm is possibly too over the top.

 

He chooses "smoke" and walks away, not nearly as into it as I thought he’d be.

 

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I'm kind of amazed at how such a small dose of Metformin can help my blood sugars in such a great way. I increased my dose to 500 mg on February 14th, but after a few days of pretty severe nausea, I decided to give myself a break to focus on a research paper and work. Yesterday, the 23rd, I started back on the Metformin at 250 mg.

 

But in those short five days off, my blood sugars started skyrocketing again. I was quickly seeing numbers in the 400 range and running consistently above 200. Nothing else changed except the Metformin.

 

I expect lower numbers by tomorrow even with the small 250 mg dose. I'm not sure how long I plan to keep it at the 250 mg since I do want to get to the max dose quickly, but I also can't deal with the side effects of this drug. I do not do well with nausea. It stops me cold in my tracks and prevents me from doing anything more than curling on the sofa and wanting to die.

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Sitting in the airport in Phoenix I “checked in” on Facebook: “Going home. Yes, I still consider St. Louis home.”

 

I smelled the humidity as soon as I stepped off the plane. It was familiar, almost comforting.

 

Mom and I went straight to my brother’s house. His street is tree-lined and full of diverse houses made of brick with grass yards. Such a difference from Phoenix where most houses are stucco, “yards” are full of rocks and tall trees are scarce. Driving north from Phoenix, to higher elevations, when things start to turn from brown to green and cacti disappear, it feels like home.

 

The windows in my brother’s house were open, letting in the cool, humid evening air. The hardwood floors creaked as I walked on them. Every house I lived in in Missouri had hardwood floors that creaked and moaned. It sounded like home.

 

(READ MORE)


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Brenda Bell
Brenda BellBrenda was diagnosed with high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and Type 2 diabetes in July 2002. After a rocky start, her diabetes has been diet-controlled since January 2004 and she hopes to keep it that way for as long as possible. (Read More)
Lindsey Guerin
Lindsey GuerinLindsey is a typical, yet unique, Texas girl who loves shopping, movies and reading. She loves to travel and take risks. She dreams of diabetes cures, never-ending cheesecake and her own airplane. The rest you can discover in her blog! (Read More)
Our Other Bloggers: Carey Potash, Nicole Purcell, Michelle Kowalski, MikeDurbin, Megan, Robert Hudson, Julia, George Simmons, Scott Marvel, Kim Doty, Kerri Sparling,