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May 27th, 2012
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I feel a shift taking place in the world today.  Its happening as we speak, and I feel it happening within me, on this site and others, before the world.  Slowly, more and more people are realizing the power of their minds.  The power to be at peace with life and whatever happens in it, the power of the ability to watch our thoughts and to not be affected by them completely.  I watched another documentary recently called, “The New Medicine”.  It touches on this very point.  More and more, people who fall ill to various things are finding the healing benefits of their own thoughts and states of consciousness while enduring the sicknesses their experiencing. 

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The fact that I have diabetes is not the first thing most people learn about me.  In reality, it's often one of the last things I reveal about myself.  An exception to this rule is disclosure in the workplace. 

 

Because I am hypoglycemic unaware, and because I don't think it's fair for a person to find out about my diabetes because I've either lost consciousness or behaved aggressively, I typically let the people I work with know what they might be up against.   It's never really "comfortable" to disclose - as I'm never sure how people might react - but I find that it's absolutely necessary.  

 

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I may write more about this on my personal blog - do check it out if you haven't already.
I have been wanting for a couple of weeks to write a post about a play I had the pleasure of taking in with my blogger friends Kerri, Julia, and Shannon. So, rather than write about the letter H, I'm going to write about Some Things Are Private . The play is showing at Trinity Repertory Company in Providence, RI, where I have the pleasure of being employed.
Live theater is a fantastic medium. What other opportunity do people have, in this day and age, to sit together in a room and watch a moment, a day, a lifetime unfold before their very eyes? I am fortunate to work for a theater that also offers the audience the opportunity to stay after the show and discuss and reflect upon what they've seen. The discussions are always interesting, funny, and thought-provoking. If you've never been and would like to go, leave me a comment, I can make it happen. (READ MORE)


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At the beginning of the month, I wrote about online dating. I couldn't decide how to approach my health conditions. Was I supposed to hold them back or just put everything out there from the beginning?

 

I decided to take a medium sized approach. The few that have progressed to getting my actual email address, I've told about my diabetes. It was easier to "admit" about my diabetes than hide it. After all, my blog, Diabetic Echoes, and so many other things in my life are because of that one diagnosis.

 

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"This is the most sick I’ve ever felt," Charlie said last night, hugging the "puke bucket" so tightly you would have thought it was keeping him afloat.

 

He looked miserable, wanting so badly to just throw up and get the awful feeling out of his stomach. Get it over with. These are some of the most difficult times of being a parent of a child with diabetes.

 

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Just because I haven’t blogged in a while doesn’t mean that everything is peachy. Charlie had ketones this morning and almost missed school. Blood sugars remain unpredictable. Life as a parent of an 8-year-old with diabetes remains as nutty as ever.

 

After three days in Florida attending my grandmother’s funeral, it was right back to the routine when I got home and walked up the stairs at 12:30 am. I woke up Susanne and greeted her and then asked if Charlie needed to be checked.

 

Susanne thinks that maybe I’ve been a little off lately because I will soon be turning a certain age. I never thought it bothered me, but maybe it does. I was around a lot of old people last week. It’s pretty depressing. One man who came to the house to offer his condolences, spoke of the loneliness.

 

"The four walls don’t talk to you," he said.

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I haven’t been very good about sharing our CGM experiences so far. Sorry about that. So busy lately. There’s always something going on. Today we celebrated Ben’s fifth birthday with a carnival-themed party in the back yard. I’m still picking whipped cream from my ears and eyeballs from the pie throw game. Seemed like a good idea on paper. Man, those kids launched those pies at me with a vengeance!

 

So, the CGM (continuous glucose monitor).

 

Started off really good. Got a little bad. Then good again. And bad at the moment. Not so much the accuracy of it. That’s been surprisingly on the money for the most part. Just some of the baggage and burdens of it affecting Charlie.

 

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When I have a lot going on, I always put aside testing my blood sugar. I'll go from checking 10 times a day to checking 4. With that much of a drop in tests, I can easily see my numbers start to rise across the board. So now that I've sat down with my logbook for the first time in two weeks, I can see the times of day that I don't test and what follows that.

 

I'm relentless about checking first thing in the morning. As soon as I wake up, my meter is sitting right beside me so it's easy to check before my feet even hit the floor. That regimen allows me to start my day off with a good decision: juice for lows and insulin for highs. Unfortunately, the rest of my day doesn't go as smoothly.

 

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As you've probably noticed, I haven't blogged much as of late. It hasn't been because I haven't wanted to write, or didn't have time, or anything of that nature. I just haven't been get a handle on all of the thoughts in my head long enough to organize them into coherent sentences and get them into a format that anyone would be able to read.

 

Translation: I've been dealing with a rather rough bout with depression, and my mind has been cluttered with crap. That, in turn, has led to an inability to focus on much of anything, and in general, an inability to care about much of anything. Well, anything except figuring out how to get out of this rut.

 

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, making some tough decisions, and slowly working toward getting back on track. It’s going to take a little while, but I’ll get there. I’ve battled with depression off and on for years, so I’ve been down this road before.

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Scott Marvel
Scott MarvelScott lives an active life with type 1 diabetes. Aiming to stay on top of his unexpected diagnosis, he puts a strong foot forward to stay in control.
Living life in the sun and fulfilling his dreams, Scott tries to educate himself, and others, on the unquestionable possibilities of a life with type 1 diabetes.
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George Simmons
George SimmonsGeorge Simmons is a father and husband living with type 1 diabetes. A self proclaimed "born again diabetic," George began blogging as a way to meet other people living with diabetes and learn more about managing his disease. (Read More)
Our Other Bloggers: Brenda Bell, Carey Potash, Lindsey Guerin, Nicole Purcell, Michelle Kowalski, MikeDurbin, Megan, Robert Hudson, Julia, Kim Doty, Kerri Sparling,