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I may write more about this on my personal blog - do check it out if you haven't already.
I have been wanting for a couple of weeks to write a post about a play I had the pleasure of taking in with my blogger friends Kerri, Julia, and Shannon. So, rather than write about the letter H, I'm going to write about
Some Things Are Private . The play is showing at Trinity Repertory Company in Providence, RI, where I have the pleasure of being employed.
Live theater is a fantastic medium. What other opportunity do people have, in this day and age, to sit together in a room and watch a moment, a day, a lifetime unfold before their very eyes? I am fortunate to work for a theater that also offers the audience the opportunity to stay after the show and discuss and reflect upon what they've seen. The discussions are always interesting, funny, and thought-provoking. If you've never been and would like to go, leave me a comment, I can make it happen.
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To describe diabetes in three words is very difficult. That's because at any given time, your thoughts and feelings about this disease are changing. So I guess one word that comes to mind is
unpredictable . It is important to note, however, that with better control comes more predictability. I think I view my diabetes as little bit more unpredictable because I have trouble keeping my sugars regulated. I feel a person who can maintain an A1C of 6 can predict their blood sugar a lot more accurate than a person with hemoglobin of 8. Maybe I'm wrong though. Another word that I would use to describe my diabetes is unfair.
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To describe diabetes in three words is very difficult. That's because at any given time, your thoughts and feelings about this disease are changing. So I guess one word that comes to mind is
unpredictable . It is important to note, however, that with better control comes more predictability. I think I view my diabetes as little bit more unpredictable because I have trouble keeping my sugars regulated. I feel a person who can maintain an A1C of 6 can predict their blood sugar a lot more accurate than a person with hemoglobin of 8. Maybe I'm wrong though. Another word that I would use to describe my diabetes is unfair.
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I'm burnt out on the constant diabetes thoughts that run through my head, even when I'm not consciously thinking about diabetes. I'm so tired of everything I do being followed with a diabetes related thought. I wish that other people could understand how present diabetes is in my life.
When I work out, I don't just get to de-stress my body and burn calories. I get to plan basal rates, meal times, and blood sugars around my workout.
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I spend a lot of time thinking about if I will ever have
complications from my diabetes. The very thought of diabetes problems scares the crap out of me. My determination to ward of complications has a direct correlation with how I control my sugars on a daily basis. In other words, every time I treat a low or a high, thoughts of amputations or blindness are running through my head. Those fears are some BIG MOTIVATORS. I don't want to come across as the guy who just sits around and waits for something bad to happen. I am not the type of person who just mopes around hopelessly or just sits around thinking of nothing else but diabetes issues. I try to stay positive most of the time. My glass is usually "half full" rarely "half empty."
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I have been having some troubles finding the urge to blog lately. I really haven't felt like I've had anything that I consider worthwhile to share or to write about. At different times in my life I lose motivation to do things. During these times when I get down, I don't want to work, I don't want to take care of my diabetes, and I definitely don't feel like writing about it. But then again, as I write this and begin to feel the relief of getting things of my chest, I guess I do.
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I was in my truck today picking up some fast food from Mickey D's. I typically don't eat
fast food. Actually, I never do- but today I was in a hurry and I just wanted to get something fast and not have to put to much thought into it. As I was ordering, I realized that with diabetes there is no such thing as just a "quick little meal". Any time I eat something, I have to put some serious thought and effort into it. Everyday, I put serious energy and brain power towards calculating things in my head.
My life revolves around eating and calculating.
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I love to write. I love to express my opinions, emotions and thoughts. It's particularly fun to focus on important topics in my life, like my blog here. But sometimes it gets very overwhelming to know that hundreds of people are reading my words.
When I blog, I expose my life to the masses. I put my diabetes on display. I put my views about diabetes on display. And sometimes, those are the hardest things to show the world.
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Do you consider yourself to be selfish? That's the topic I've been pondering over today and for many years since becoming diabetic. Sometimes I can't help but feel like because of diabetes I am forced to think of myself, or my diabetic needs, before the needs of others. Maybe selfishness is a characteristic that is inherited in people who develop life threatening illnesses or diseases. Perhaps because we live with the constant reminder of the thin line between life and death, we are more in tune to our needs.
Is it true that selfishness and diabetes go hand in hand?
What do you think? Have you, like me, thought about this before? Do you think of yourself as a selfish person?
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I get frustrated every day. Diabetes is making me feel like I am semi-losing my mind. I literally have to ask myself everyday, "Am I losing it"? To be honest with you it is scaring me a little. My sugars are all over place. Is this blood sugar roller coaster "normal" for those people out there who are doing "good" with diabetes?
I would like to pose a question to you if you're reading this right now and you are a person with type 1 diabetes and take daily insulin injections. If you have an
A1C of 6 or lower, how often are your sugars in the 200's... if ever?
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