Sort by: Relevance | Most Recent | Most Active | Highest Rated

We found 10 result(s) that match your search "taking a break from control":

Today, I'm feeling very raw. You know that kind of emotion that leaves everything sitting on the edge, just waiting to burst through the dam? Today is one of those days. Where I could laugh, sing, cry, weep, or punch somebody at the drop of a hat.

 

It's an emotional state that's been building over the past few weeks. And today is the culmination of all that time compressed into a few moments of completely raw emotion.

 

School was rough the last few weeks. With an insane amount of tests and papers, I was running myself ragged trying to keep up, catch up, and finish up. Although it's over, I'm still a bit flustered from it all. Grades aren't published yet and the perfectionist in me is still angry over a bad test and a poor paper.

 

(READ MORE)

Rating (0) 0

Email this Comments (0)

---

I am not doing what I should be doing to take care of my diabetes. I don't check often enough. I snack without bolusing. I never log anymore. I'm being a real slacker.

 

It isn't that I don't have TIME for this disease. Yes, I work part time. I attend graduate school full time. And I have a lot of other responsibilities like a very needy cat, a great boyfriend, and managing the usual parts of life. But I have time to check my blood sugar, take an injection, and log some numbers every week. I could be doing that right now instead of blogging and watching TV.

 

The thing is that I don't have the ENERGY for this disease. I stopped having the energy somewhere between year ten and twelve. A decade of diabetes wore me out. And almost two decades really has me down. It just isn't what I want to be doing on a cold, rainy Tuesday night. Especially when I have a slight headache and my eyes just want to close.

 

(READ MORE)

Rating (0) 0

Email this Comments (9)

---

Last week's numbers decided to soar back into the 280-330 range. My averages bumped from 156 to 188. And I really have no idea why.

 

My Lantus is up two units by now. I'm aggressively bolusing for food, which so far hasn't kicked me in the butt too hard. But I'm still not seeing the kind of rapid drops that I'd like to. At least the 300's are out the door though.

 

I'm just so frustrated with these bouncing numbers lately. It goes from bad to worse at the drop of a hat. No explanations, no cause. Just random weeks of resistance and soaring numbers.

 

(READ MORE)

Rating (0) 0

Email this Comments (1)

---

For the third year in a row, I found myself at the doctor's office on March 15th.  That seems to be the day my allergies have decided to kick right in.  Sore throats, nasal congestion and dripping, little bit of a cough.  Every year.  Same day.  This has not made for a fantastic week.  I feel horrible.

 

As a result of medicating pretty heavily (Claritin, nasal decongestant, bendadryl at night) and lack of activity, the allergies have come with elevated bloodsugars that are making me feel even cruddier.  High hundreds and low two hundreds have dominated my meter landscape.  Insulin seems like a pale warrior standing up to these sugars, which just flat out refuse to surrender.  Drastic increases in both basal and bolus rates (up to 30%-40%) haven't worked with any kind of consistency.  I am not exercising because I feel like such crap.  I'm frustrated... Which means I'm avoiding.   

 

(READ MORE)

Rating (0) 0

Email this Comments (3)

---

I’ve had a really hard time with my writing/not writing lately. In December I blogged only once, and so far this month I’ve blogged twice.

 

This is kind of weird for me because I’m so used to writing so often. It hurts, actually, that I haven’t been doing more of it. It’s not for lack of trying, though. I’ve written countless Post-It notes to myself with blog topics and have every intention of writing when I get home and then I don’t.

 

And it’s not like I’m forgetting to do it, I just don’t do it. Or I decide that I’d rather do something else. I think about the Post-It note stuck to my calendar and about all the things I would say in the blog and how wonderfully eloquent I would be. And then I just don’t do it.

 

(READ MORE)

Rating (0) 0

Email this Comments (6)

---

I haven’t been very good about sharing our CGM experiences so far. Sorry about that. So busy lately. There’s always something going on. Today we celebrated Ben’s fifth birthday with a carnival-themed party in the back yard. I’m still picking whipped cream from my ears and eyeballs from the pie throw game. Seemed like a good idea on paper. Man, those kids launched those pies at me with a vengeance!

 

So, the CGM (continuous glucose monitor).

 

Started off really good. Got a little bad. Then good again. And bad at the moment. Not so much the accuracy of it. That’s been surprisingly on the money for the most part. Just some of the baggage and burdens of it affecting Charlie.

 

(READ MORE)

Rating (0) 0

Email this Comments (7)

---

Today was my last dermatology appointment for the Accutane. I'm a mixture of excited and sad. I'm excited because the Accutane has been such a hassle. Monthly doctor's appointments and blood draws, debilitating side effects, and just the stress of putting this into my system. So now it's over. Awesome.

 

Except that my dermatologist isn't exactly happy with my results. Yes, I'm much improved. 90% in fact. But according to him, he likes to end things at 100%. He even suggested staying on it longer or switching brands.

 

Right now, I'm just not up for that though. My body needs a break. I need a break. To just feel normal again. To not be so tired, so fatigued. To go one day without a headache or muscle ache or joint pain. For my body to just feel closer to whole rather than endlessly worn out.

 

(READ MORE)

Rating (0) 0

Email this Comments (1)

---

Blogging has become quite difficult these days. Not only am I pressed for time, but I also don't seem to have the correct mindset to talk about diabetes. Maybe I've been doing this too long? I just can't find anything WORTH blogging about that pertains to anything diabetes related. My priorities have shifted.

 

Work is fairly consuming while I'm there. I don't tend to focus on it once I hit the apartment door, but I do know that the stress is there. I am spending quite a bit of my time in the office, driving to/from work, or spending a few moments here and there at home checking email or organizing for the next day. I don't think I've adjusted to this schedule quite yet.

 

(READ MORE)

Rating (0) 0

Email this Comments (6)

---

Dear Food,

 

I love you so much.  The way you smell, the way you feel, the way you nourish me.  You taste so good, sometimes I eat you just because you're around, not because I really need you.  And I adore how you bring people together.  That's probably one of the biggest reasons you stay in my life.  Good company is always even better with good food in the mix. 

 

But I hate you so much too.  The things you do to my bloodsugar are often inexplicable.  I think that carbs will pump me up and proteins and fats will keep me level, and what ends up happening is just the opposite.  I think that I've got you handled, insulin dosing wise, and it turns out I screw up completely and my bloodsugar goes soaring or plummets.  I'm often dissappointed in you, food.  How your taste builds you up and your effects break my heart.  

 

(READ MORE)

Rating (0) 0

Email this Comments (1)

---

Diabetes is a marathon, not a sprint.

 

From the time we are diagnosed until the moment of our death, we are running a race against skyrocketing and plummeting blood sugars, heart disease, kidney failure, retinopathy, neuropathy, and a whole list of other "-opathies", as well as acute (but potentially fatal) issues such as ketoacidosis...

 

(READ MORE)

Rating (0) 0

Email this Comments (0)

---