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As a person living with chronic health conditions, it isn't hard to remember how life can really be. How short things are, how quickly time flies, and just how important the little things need to be. With the way humanity is, it's easy to let that all pass by without even considering the bigger picture.

 

So I try my hardest to count the smallest things. The simple joys in life. The blessed moments. The things that make you smile and nod. Even when things seem truly dark, the tiniest moment can change the whole perspective. A slight reminder that life is short, that time is to be cherished, and that you can never have enough fun.

 

Today, I feel like giving thanks. I was down on Wednesday...just feeling the weight of all my stress. My burden was heavy. But two days of the small things...and I'm lighter and happier.

 

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This month marks my fifth year of lancing my fingers, injecting or infusing insulin, monitoring carbs, and Having Type-1 Diabetes. In some ways it seems like longer but in others, it seems like this journey is just starting. That beginning trip to the emergency room is still clear in my mind. Mostly I remember the support and attention I got from family and friends, and the uncertainness of what the diagnosis meant. But here I am, through the ups and downs, after the successes and failures, in front of diligent times and moments of negligence, still happy and healthy with a life touched by diabetes.

 

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A presidential promise. A statement to advance us into a more lucrative future of healthcare. A hope that technology in healthcare can further help fulfill patient’s needs.

"We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost….. All this we can do. And all this we will do."

This quote came from President Barack Obama's Inaugural Address on January 20, 2009. It is a bold statement on his desire to make improvements in todays healthcare system and expand on the successes of technology for everyone.

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On Saturday, I will mark my 29th year with diabetes.  I'm not sure what else I have to say about the anniversary this year.  I don't plan to celebrate,  but I do plan to take a few moments to reflect on my successes over the years. 

 

I have only mild retinopathy in one of my eyes.  Otherwise, I am complication free.

 

I have health insurance, it helps me to stay reasonably well.  

 

I have access to nutritious food and I can afford to get regular activity.

 

I have graduated middle school, high school, and college with diabetes in my life.

 

I am a successful professional.

 

I love and empathize as well as any person I know.  

 

I extend forgiveness very well.  I think, in part, because I must forgive myself on a regular basis.  

 

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I had no idea the firestorm I would create with one of my last blog posts. The readership and number of comments, though, show me that I hit the nail on the head.

 

We hate diabetes. And that’s OK. I think it’s healthy to say to this disease that I hate it. I do. And I won’t apologize to anyone for feeling this way or for saying how I feel.

 

I was furious this morning when I read Andy’s post claiming that he loves diabetes. I felt attacked and had a how-dare-you-talk-to-me-like-that attitude. But, I think I understand where he’s coming from now. I think he was just trying to help.

 

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When my husband and I decided to start a family, we knew my diabetes would be an issue. As a health writer, I spent months researching the topic before actually getting down to work. I read every book on the subject and followed every internet link. I figured I know just about everything there is to know to be prepared for the nine months ahead.
For the most part, I take great care of myself-too good if you ask some of my doctors-yet all of my research and obsessive control could never prepare me for the challenges of a diabetic pregnancy.
That's why I'm so grateful to have found a website devote entirely to women like me. On the forums at Diabetic Mommy, women of all types of diabetes in all stages of motherhood from all over the world share wisdom, advice, laughter and tears with one another. (READ MORE)

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I remember posters of dull needles from the pediatric endo's office. The difference between a new needle and the old was always quite disgusting. The old was frayed, with shards of metal sticking out abnormally. It was definitely a good way to scare a teenager into changing lancets and syringes on a regular basis.

 

The bad thing was that I never remembered that poster after I left the doctor's office. I'd go back to my usual routine. I wouldn't change the lancet until someone reminded me. I'd use a syringe repeatedly, until the numbers wore down or the needle bent. It could be days before I'd even think about switching it out...after multiple uses per day.

 

It's a bad diabetes habit that I'm in. I try to be better...I put extra lancets and syringes in my meter kit. I try to make schedules, changing them on Sundays or once a night or on the 1st of the month. Anything to make the habit more often than it is.

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"You inspire me.  I believe, seeing you, that my daughter will become all she wants to be and more.  That makes all the difference in living with this thing day in and out."  Those lines are an excerpt from an email I received recently from a mom with a nine year old daughter living with diabetes. 

 

And that's the awesome part of having diabetes.  

 

Because I have lived with this disease for almost thirty years.  Because I am (knock on wood for me, please) virtually complication free.  Because I live a fun, full, busy life.  Because I am successful.  Because I am strong.  Because I never shy away from a challenge. 

 

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I don’t look for signs, but when I see something significant or a series of somethings significant I pay attention. Over the last couple weeks I’ve seen some things that could be signs. As you know, I’m a quote collector, and on one of my favorite blogs, which has a photography section, the author wrote about her photography, “I’m nowhere near where I want to be. But I’m a whole lot closer than I’d be if I hadn’t kept going.” I wrote it down and pinned it on my cube wall.

 

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Back on April 1st, I finished a six month round of Accutane for severe acne caused by PCOS and a bad reaction to some treatments for PCOS. Now that I'm four months post treatment, I'm really starting to see the effects. Now I'm wondering what to do about the scarring that I have.

 

First, let me say that Accutane was the biggest blessing in my acne treatment. It's caused some nasty (and some lasting) side effects that I really could do without. But overall, it cleared my skin and allowed me to regain the person that I used to be before PCOS tried to destroy me. My skin is generally clear these days with only a few breakouts here and there probably due to hormones and stress.

 

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