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February 9th, 2012
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I woke up this morning with a 136 on the Freestyle. One of these days I will actual be within range when I wake up. Anyhow, I was not very upset about that.

 

After realizing I had overslept I ran into the shower and hurried like mad. This has been the scenario for the entire week. I wake up late and run like mad to get to work close to starting time.

 

This morning, I was 20 minutes late. As soon as I walk in the door my supervisor says, “The phones are not working, I don’t know what to do!”

 

I have become the “Tech Guy” in the office and anything that blinks, beeps, or has a plug seems to fall into my domain. I guess I am that much of a dork that they automatically assume I know all things electronical but that my friends is not the case.

 

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Remember that silly/sarcastic quote that people were spouting off some time ago? The one about stress? Stress: The confusion created when one's mind overrides the body's basic desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it. I like it better when there are some choice words replaced, but this is a family place!
Stress comes in many forms, though, not just from anger and frustration, as the quote above demonstrates. Stress comes from having too much to do and not enough time to do it in; from lack of sleep; from poor blood sugar management; and a myriad other situations. All of which can wreak havoc on every part of your diabetes management. (READ MORE)


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One thing about diabetes that can be particularly frustrating is not knowing how our body will react to stress. I've had just as many highs from stress as I have had unexpected lows.

 

Strangely, I think I more often go lowish from certain kinds of stress. Namely medical stress. Just over a year ago, for example, I had to have an MRI on my hip with contrasting dye and it was really an experience I was not prepared for. Sitting in the waiting area before the procedure I was high. During the part where the doctor injected the dye into my hip, I felt myself going low and thought I was going to pass out.

 

And then there was the minor hand surgery I had two and a half years ago where my sugar stayed low all morning until my mid-day surgery.

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This has been a heck of a week.  At work, we've been fundraising since last Wednesday - on the radio waves (if you're from Rhode Island - will you please do what you can?).  I set some pretty aggressive targets for my team and we're scraping toward them, but aren't quite there.

 

I picked the wrong week to quit smoking, eh?  I know you're thinking Airplane, folks, and glue-sniffing and that's OK.

 

That was actually a purposeful decision.  Smaller doses of stress spread out over longer period of time make me far crazier than concentrated stress all in one short time period.  Perhaps it's the light at the end of the tunnel I like, I'm not sure.  But there's something about tackling a bunch of difficult things all at once that appeals to my nature.

 

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I hit "ESC" on Toohey to double check when my last bolus was. Yep, right on time. I suspect I'll be slightly high since I changed my site this morning and had a fast-food breakfast. But when I see 304 I'm shocked. I squeezed out another glob of blood and checked again. This time 302. Son of a f*%#ing b*&%h!

 

I had taken 9.5 units to correct for a hideous fasting (which is why I changed my site a day early; I'd been running high since I put that site in on Sunday morning) and for the excessive amount of carbs I was eating for breakfast. I had even logged on to the restaurant's web site for nutrition information before bolusing.

 

I'm so livid now that I can't finish doing what I was doing. I can't think. What the hell is wrong? Two things came to mind: 

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My family sat down for dinner last night and I was feeling frantic and stressed and generally not in a good place. My fasting sugars have been a little high and I'm sure my post-lunch have been too, with all the goodies available at work.
The tragic Colorado church shootings took place Sunday just a few miles from my home. My 4 year old has questions I don't know how to answer.
This is crush week for us for the holidays. If it's not shipped or mailed by Friday, it very likely won't make it in time. 95% of our friends and family don't live in this state so I have to be done this week.
Halfway through dinner, the 5 month old started crying. Not a light fussing, but an full-on screaming crying -- something was DEFINITELY wrong with her. Kate does not do this very often. It ratchets up my stress level immediately. I feel SO bad for her and guilty (of course) that I may have done something to cause it. And there's the worry that something is seriously wrong. (READ MORE)


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When I first moved away for college back in early 2007, my health was really at its worst. We still had no idea what was going on with me...just a list of symptoms and doctors who couldn't tell me what was wrong. So I moved out on my own into a 1 bedroom apartment a little over an hour from my mom's house and less than an hour from my dad's house.

 

The first semester was extremely rough. I had several breakdowns on my bathroom floor, several moments of desperation, several calls home that left my parents worried. I tried to stay on top of things, but the stress made it nearly impossible.

 

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Thanks for the input on my issues with Olivia's teacher. I'm going to follow up with her when they return to school this week, to see if the guy is still being a pain in the butt about it and if so, I'll contact him again. This is the part of diabetes that I hate - the beating it into people part.

 

For the last couple of weeks, Olivia's been having some major drama with her father. He doesn't see her, in spite of only living an hour away, and it's making her nuts. He'll call her, but he has one excuse after another as to why he can't come out here or why, if we happen to be out that way, she can't stop in for a few hours. It's really crappy.

 

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My averages for the past two weeks were quite amazing. My only highs were generally after breakfast (still). Unfortunately, I had quite a few lows in there. But I have to say that working full time seems to keep my blood sugars at a more stable rate (even though I was moving boxes 70% of the time). And unfortunately, I think quite a few of the lows and falling averages were from stress.

 

Stress seems to work backwards on me. When I'm nervous, I drop like a rock. When I'm upset, I tend to average out at a lower level. I don't see a lot of highs when I'm under the pressure.

 

And lately, I've been extremely stressed. To the point that I'm getting ulcers in my mouth (a common occurrence for me during stressful times). I have so much going on in my life right now.

 

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Today, I could barely make it home without breaking into sobs. The minute that the lock clicked in my door, I was letting the tears go. I am not unhappy. I am not depressed. I am stressed to the limit and this is how I cope.

 

Today was the straw on the camel's back. The new job. Trying to find a dress for Gala with being 15 pounds over my normal weight. A busy boyfriend. Not seeing my family in ages. And picking an appropriate master's degree or not picking one at all.

 

It just all hit me today as I tried on dress after dress at the mall and tried to find an appropriate, functional dress that fit my curves without going over a very limited budget. And then my mom and I had a horrible telephone connection and weren't seeing eye to eye anyway. So I broke.

 

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Carey Potash
Carey PotashCarey is a full-time hater of diabetes. The benefits stink. His 7-year-old son, Charlie, has been giving he and his wife the finger since November of 2003. Carey's parenting humor has appeared in various websites and print magazines. He resides in the suburbs of Philadelphia with his wife and three children. (Read More)
Lindsey Guerin
Lindsey GuerinLindsey is a typical, yet unique, Texas girl who loves shopping, movies and reading. She loves to travel and take risks. She dreams of diabetes cures, never-ending cheesecake and her own airplane. The rest you can discover in her blog! (Read More)
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