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The ongoing issues with The Other Half's sciatica have come to a close, at least for now. It's taken two rounds of anaesthetic shots to the L5 nerve, and he's still prone to discomfort and fatigue after long periods standing, but he has been released to return to his "day job". He started Monday, on a 4 x 10, 1300 to 2300 shift. Since my shift is currently 1000 to 1800, this means that four days a week, I'll be on my own for dinner -- and hopefully asleep when he gets home. It also means having to take care not to wake him when I get up at 0600 to take my morning ride. (Unfortunately, neither of these has happened this week -- nor have my Monday or Thursday morning rides.)

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The back to school rush is in full force at our house. Between paperwork, tuition payments, classroom visits, teacher meetings, bus riding anxiety (mostly on my part), and school supply shopping, there has been little time to wallow in my recent diabetes funk. Although I feel strongly that each and every one of us is entitled to some “woe is me” days, because let’s face it, it is indeed the reality of this disease (I can’t stand people who insinuate that these kinds of days aren’t necessary, I personally feel it is healthy to ride high on the positive days and try to learn from those bummer days that hit all of us from time to time). Sorry about that….ok, where was I….right….

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I haven't realized how hectic the last week has been until tonight. School is picking up. I've had doctor's appointments and health concerns. Plus my social calendar has taken off like a rocket.

So I'm sitting down to do my averages tonight. And not liking what I'm seeing. But I'm also understanding that this may be an "uncontrollable" bump in my blood sugars.

My averages have jumped back up this week to the high 160 range. I'm perturbed at some of the results I see...like a 44 followed by a 56 or a 363 from slacking on my boluses. But I also know that some of these highs are my own doing...although I can't say much about the lows at this point.

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Three of my last four blood sugars have been under 100. Two of those blood sugars have been under 50. I haven't increased my insulin or even eaten much less. I actually decreased my basal overnight because I was 99. By this morning, I was 47.

Because my blood sugars have been so out of control in the last few months, lows are few and far between (for me, at least). Usually, three lows in a twelve-hour period wouldn't be that confusing. Yet I'm perplexed. I haven't started getting back in control consciously so there is no excuse for these lows. Actually, I should be running a little high considering that I'm fighting off a cold.

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My classes are all over the place this semester. Since I'm down to the final semesters, I don't have much left that I can take outside of my university or online. Plus I'm trying to leave the option to study abroad next semester, which means taking quite a few hardcore classes all at the same time.

I haven't done that since my first year here. After that, I managed to take at least one class online so I could better manage my fatigue. This semester, I wasn't so lucky. But you have to do what you have to do, right?

So far, I'm feeling okay. Just a little extra stress (headaches, sore muscles) from all the emotional things I'm going through right now. The fatigue hasn't set in...and I'm hoping that I can somehow ward it off this semester. But I am fighting against the balance of class and diabetes.

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In the past three nights, I've seen the same diabetes pattern. At 10:30pm, I suddenly drop. All three times have been a little over an hour after a meal and roughly seven hours after my afternoon Lantus injection. I stay low for a few hours and after several treatments, I pop up to the 140 range (or the 200s like last night).

I'm extremely frustrated by this. The lows are definitely taking their toll on my body, as usual. My weight is up a few pounds. And I'm generally just feeling weak and out of sorts. Not the fatigue of the weeks of highs, but a general low energy that results in me eating just to feel a little better. And lots of cravings for sugar mixed in there.

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My averages had been looking much better the last few weeks with the mix of keeping a stable schedule and eating a little better. I was having my usual bouts of lows (in the 50's) with the lower averages, but I was also working to correct those issues. So this week, I'm sad to report that my averages have soared back up with the onset of school.

The first week of school (or any time I get sincerely busy), I tend to let my diabetes slip. I check my blood sugar less often and at the most unusual times. I don't stay on top of my insulin, as in I let my Lantus doses fall outside the typical 12 hour range or delay my boluses. On top of all that, I tend to eat off schedule (since I'm still adjusting to the change in daily routine) and never decent meals.

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Both of my doctors, my endocrinologist and the doctor in charge of my bio-identical treatment, have sent disability status letters for me. It actually took very little effort, despite the initial feedback from the nurses in the beginning. I'm happy to get these out of the way and go forward with the process. I'll also be writing my own letter to support my case with a personal note.

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Right now, there are a thousand things on my "to do" list. Everything from making Christmas returns to getting my life back on a routine. Just making the list settled some of my frustration with how my life is going at this stage. It's a new year and I'm ready to get back on track and get this life under control. I don't make resolutions so much as set goals because I tend to constantly be doing small pieces of whatever my resolution might be. My problem is relaxing my control or my routine and ending up with a bigger mess.

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This weekend ended way too quickly and I'm very ready for the coming one. Marvin was out of town last week so I decided to make the drive to my mom's and visit with her over the weekend. I miss her beyond all belief and wish that both our schedules made it easier to make the 4 hour drive.

We chatted for awhile on Friday night since I arrived pretty late. Saturday, I battled all those low blood sugars but ended the day with dinner and a movie with my mom and a blood sugar of 157. I cut the Lantus down that night and woke up at 176 (I did eat a snack without bolusing the night before).

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