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I have to be honest in that I had no clue that there was a
Diabetes Alert Day until hearing about it over the weekend. So for 20 years (18 in which I actually had diabetes) the American Diabetes Association has made this a day to alert people about the risk of type 2 diabetes.
Now it all makes sense. It is about type 2 and I am a type 1.
I do recognize that the diabetes epidemic is truly a type 2 issue but all of us are affected and now people that type 2 diabetes affects. This day should matter and be on the minds of everyone. I will say that for many years, just hearing "type 2" instantly made me check out of the conversation.
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Diabetes is never just one disease to handle. Sure, technically, medically, or definitively, diabetes is simply one disease. But in the daily management of the disease, it's a complex ball of diseases and risks.
Most of us understand the complications that come along with diabetes. We know that better control lowers our risk for all of those complications. We understand that those complications sometimes have a mind of their own, that despite years of good control they might still creep into our lives.
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I am dependent on insulin. But I am otherwise an incredibly independent person. I like taking risks - on my own. I enjoy the feeling of having accomplished something by my own will and my own action. I am more outgoing and more confident than I think I would have been if I'd not been diagnosed. A combination of wanting to be able to handle my disease on my own, without pity or judgment AND the experiences I had as a young woman - through the Clara Barton Camp and the ADA's Youth Congress - transformed me from a shy, albeit precocious kid, to a person who stands on her own. A person who keeps her head up and battles mightily - in the face of whatever wrong she sees and whatever challenges she faces. But would I trade my independence for a life without diabetes? I would - though again, who's to tell if something else might have brought me to this same place.
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Just recently I had a talk with myself. I told myself that being a diabetic is a/my full-time job. That is how I choose to look at it sometimes.
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I want to be the Little Mermaid. I want my ocean life to turn to land. I want to suddenly be able to cross to the other side. I want a day without diabetes. Just one day.
If I could imagine a day without diabetes... it would be hard to know where to start. Maybe I'd go jogging and not worry about getting low hours later. Maybe I would make my day on a holiday so I could eat anything I wanted without thinking about boluses and temp basals.
Certainly I would rejoice in not being glued to an insulin pump and infusion set. I would get rid of the calluses on my fingers from the eight finger sticks a day. I wouldn't worry about heightened risks for heart disease, glaucoma, or even the common cold.
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I'm inked. Are you?
I have three tattoos. My first, which is also my favorite, was a simple butterfly on my right ankle. I sat on a metal folding chair with my leg twisted sideways on the tattoo artist's chair for what seemed like forever. I was 19. And then I got addicted. My second and third tattoos live on my right and left hips, respectively, and were done within two years of the first.
All my tattoos were received pre-children, pre-home ownership, pre-diabetes.
Lately, I've been thinking an awful lot about getting another one (I've even started browsing web sites). Aside from likely wanting to spend that kind of money on something else, I'm nervous about the possible effects of diabetes and getting a tattoo. I know that there are risks no matter what, even for people who don't have diabetes.
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Ever since I was little, my mom has always told me that there was a reason behind my diabetes. I've always believed her and hoped that one day I would realize what the reason was. When my other health conditions developed, we had the same conversation. There was a reason behind my health problems.
Occasionally, ideas pop into my head. Sometimes I think I know, but mostly I feel that I have no clue what's behind all my health problems. It all seems so pointless. There is one consistent theme throughout the ideas in my mind though.
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Over the summer, I developed a regular workout routine that helped me lose weight and maintain better blood sugars. When I got back to school, I set out to do the same. But after a couple weeks of doing well, my routine quickly dwindled to become non-existent.
I gained two pounds back and my averages are definitely not as stable as they were over the summer. Yet I can't seem to motivate myself to get to the gym. I could make the time, if I truly wanted to, so it isn't like it's impossible. And I have two workout buddies that are there any time I want to.
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As a person with diabetes, I find myself constantly informing others.
As a person with diabetes, who also has a 90-year-old grandmother with type 2 diabetes, I find that I am a springboard for "real world" information for my mom and aunts who have to sift through what Bami's doctors tell them, what they hear on the news and what they read. It wasn't long after the oral diabetes drug
Avandia made headlines in regard to worsening heart conditions that I got calls and emails from Mom and my two aunts. Bami has a history of heart trouble (runs in the family) and had a severe heart attack roughly 20 years ago. They wanted to know if she should stay on the drug.
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People with diabetes, and those touched by diabetes, follow their journey with the disease through a myriad of winding emotional paths. Depression is very common for those newly diagnosed, sadness can rear its head at different stages in the game, and a little humor and humility can even find the door to expose itself from time to time. The keys for controlling those doors are littered all over the place and on
W
rld Diabetes Day today, you can follow this map of internet hotspots. Expose diabetes for all that it is, good and bad, and then share it with others. Find an emotion and embrace it!
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