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March 18th, 2010
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There was the researching, and the chats with the doc,. There was the mental tug-o-war between my daily injection comfort zone and my need for more flexibility, and now, like the quickness of a self-inserting cannula, I am pumping insulin by way of the OmniPod. (READ MORE)


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I started using a pump back in October of 2007. It was a rough and terribly rocky start. The pump company wasn't helpful and left me stranded in the dark with this new technology. There were moments that it left me sobbing over the phone to my mother, claiming that I was seconds from throwing the expensive device against the wall. My A1c climbed from 6.9 to 7.6.

 

After about six months of that and some help from the online community, I finally got the pump closer to being stabilized to my life. It still wasn't pretty. My A1c plateaued around 7.3 and 7.4. I couldn't seem to make the pump fit with my life, despite what everyone was saying. Apparently, I wasn't as stable as I needed to be with my schedule.

 

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Olivia told me the other day that she had a motor error on her pump. I didn't think much of it - she said it exited out automatically. The pump seemed to be delivering insulin ok - she had some highs and some lows, but no more than usual.

Tonight it did it again, so I called MiniMed. Turns out, I should have called the first time it happened because MiniMed doesn't like motor errors.

They are shipping her a new pump and it will be here on Monday morning, when, of course, I should be at preschool with the little girls. It's too bad I can't drop them off and come back, but with my luck, the UPS guy would show up while I was driving them to or fro.
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Right now, I'm a complete bundle of nerves. Last night, I suddenly decided that today I would go off the pump. I know that I've been talking about it, but I assumed that I'd get it all straightened out and be back into "normalcy" before April 1st came around.

 

But you'd be surprised to find that poor control is actually NOT the reason why I'm going off the pump. In the past two weeks, I've had some highs and far fewer lows (which is just amazing). My averages are still in the 150 range though, which is what I'd settle for to get down to the 130 range (slowly, without lows).

 

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Tomorrow is the JDRF Promise Ball. I still haven’t figured out what I’m going to wear. Since it’s black tie, I wanted to wear one of the many evening gowns I have laying around (from prom and other balls). So last week, I tried on the main one I wanted, but I didn’t feel comfortable.

 

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After doing this blogging thing for a while now, I’ve learned that people get their diabetes blog fix for several different reasons. Some people are looking to gain knowledge in the management of diabetes (not from mine, I pray). Others are hoping to see that they are not alone in their struggles with this disease. Some are just looking for a laugh.

 

But more than anything else, I think people simply want to vent. To vent unlimitedly or vent anonymously (if you so choose to) or vent profanely if that floats your boat. People find comfort in venting their troubles to an accepting audience; one that hears where they’re coming from so crystal clearly. You can only vent about diabetes so much to friends and family. The eyes begin to glaze over like little roasted chickens on a spit when you speak at length about infusion set malfunctions or ketones.

 

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I woke up this morning about 30 minutes before my alarm to answer a call from nature. I stumble to the restroom and as usual I set my insulin pump on the sink counter. I should explain that I have a relatively small bathroom so the sink is pretty much half of the room. Well, no sooner do I set my pump down that it slides off and slams on the floor.
Ouch!
I have had my pump fall before but this one sounded extra hard. I leaned over and picked up my poor pump to see if it was okay. It was not. The screen was blank and even though I closed my eyes and wished for it to be fixed, it did not work. (READ MORE)


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A friend of mine emailed a few days ago to tell me she got her first pump. She was scared and excited at the same time.

 

I felt like she told me she had gotten engaged -- I had so much happiness and joy for her. It reminded me of the day my own pump arrived. I was in the middle of a deadline at work, but I still ripped into the box and tore into everything. I put Toohey on my hip almost immediately. It would be several days before I had my training, but I immersed myself in pump life immediately. Although I had had reservations about being attached to a contraption for 24 hours a day, those fears went out the window as soon as I was hooked up. I just knew this was going to be better.

 

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The other day, Michelle posted about censoring her blog to not upset her mother sometimes. I realize I do this too, but not for the same reason. I tend to censor my writing out of superstition. I'm like one of those people who mouth the word cancer. When things are going good for me, I know if I blog about it, things will quickly turn around.

 

Last week, I chose to not look over my shoulder (or toss salt over it) and jump up and down with glee over my new pump. I was so excited about it, and how much easier it made my diabetes control.

 

I should know better than to speak up when things are going good. I should have whispered instead. I even knocked wood to fend off the fates, but I guess they heard me over all that banging.   

 

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In a couple weeks I will have the honor of speaking at a JDRF family retreat in St. Louis. Last year was my first time being involved in such a thing and I thoroughly enjoyed the whole experience. I got the pleasure of meeting lots of kids with diabetes and their wonderful parents. This event is special to me because I was them 15 years ago. I was that kid who was living with this special disease who had extremely loving and supportive parents who were with me all the way. I love getting the opportunity to be a positive influence to these children. Hopefully I will make a lasting impression about being able live a good and normal life despite being slightly "different" than other kids. (READ MORE)


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Julia
JuliaJulia lives behind the Tofu Curtain, in the Pioneer Valley, in Western Massachusetts. It's a nice place. She likes it there. Her eldest daughter, Olivia, has type 1 diabetes. She's also 13. It's a real toss-up as to which is more difficult -- the diabetes or the teen-age drama. (Read More)
Michelle Kowalski
Michelle KowalskiMichelle Kowalski, a writer, editor and photography hobbiest living in Phoenix, was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in February 2005. In January 2008, as part of her quest to start on an insulin pump, Michelle learned that she actually has type 1 diabetes. (Read More)
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