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March 19th, 2010
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These changes I wrote about recentlyare going pretty well. I'm choosing better foods to eat, only having human sized portions, and even cutting back on the soda.

 

I cannot believe I just typed that.

 

Soda. Diet soda is a vice I am not ready to give up entirely. I love soda in almost any flavor as long as it's diet odds are I'll like it.

 

But I drink a lot of soda. Way too much to be honest. And although diet soda doesn't seem to affect my blood glucose levels, the salt in it is not good.

 

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It came out of nowhere, but I think most sickness does. You know when something wakes you up in the middle of the night it's bad.

 

Last Tuesday morning I woke up at 2:45 a.m. with lower abdominal cramps. Actually, more like pressure. I even think I was dreaming about it, which you know means business. It's interesting to me how we can almost instinctually know what to do in certain situations -- even when we're in a deep sleep.

 

I spent about 15 minutes in the bathroom dealing with the pressure and another Big D. I really thought it was just a fluke, thought maybe something I ate for dinner hadn't set right with me. Though, even in my 3 a.m. stupor I thought about how a "fluke" had likely never woken me up in the middle of the night.

 

Repeat at 4:30 a.m.

 

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I have been determined to not let this year be another 2008. Filled with negative attitudes and depressing thoughts. I know times will be rough but I chose how I react to those things and so far I have been doing pretty good.

 

But one thing that is a bummer about any new year is the deductibles I have to pay for my prescriptions.

 

I have insulin for my pump, glucose testing strips, Lisinopril for high blood pressure, and Zetia for cholesterol. 

 

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I typically bleed easily. I’ve been that way for awhile. My body just doesn’t want to clot very quickly. Unfortunately, as a diabetic, I bleed more often than I don’t. Between finger pricks and infusion set changes, there’s always blood. Sometimes, there’s very little. My fingers will refuse to bleed no matter how much I try to get them to. The infusion set won’t bleed at all when I pull the old one off.

 

Other times, I’m Old Faithful gushing out the bright red mix. Sometimes the stories are funny. Sometimes they are annoying. Mostly, they are life.

 

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Things just keep getting better and better around here. (to be read in a dripping-with-sarcasm tone of voice.)

I got a phone call from the nurse this morning that Olivia had shown up in her office shortly after gym started, complaining of shortness of breath. The nurse took her blood pressure and it was 120/100. I called Olivia's pediatrician. Four bp readings later, she was 120/96. And no one has a clue as to what's going on.

She says she feels fine. She doesn't feel like her heart is racing, she doesn't feel sick, nothing. She hadn't even started running around in gym when this happened.

The pediatrician didn't want to see her today. She suggested I have the school nurse check Olivia's blood pressure tomorrow, a couple of times during the day. She also said that if it flared up again tonight, that I was to take her to the ER.

Blah.
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Diabetes is sometimes the best way to get out of things. It really can be an easy excuse in times of "emergency (parties, dates, movie hunger)." (READ MORE)


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...I don't want to make the effort. This has absolutely nothing to do with the amount of insulin I take or optimal blood sugar control--although those aspects of dropping a few pounds would certainly be welcome.
I simply hate the way I look. I can't stand how I look in a mirror. I wonder all the time if people are staring at my thunder things or three-baby-having flabby abdomen. Realistically I know I'm the one focusing on these issues, but as a girl I still wonder what others think.
It's ironic, but I find myself being judgemental of other plus-size women. How can she be taken seriously when she's so chunky? I'm sure the judgements go both ways, and I suppose this affects my self-confidence in a way I haven't been able to truly see.
It's easy to pick apart all the things that I don't like about my body, and I don't look at myself too long in a mirror, and I often imagine how other people see me. (READ MORE)


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Part 2 of a 4 part series. See part 1.

On the way to the hospital, my husband commented that he didn't think this was really it. I wasn't curled up in a ball crying or cursing him out. Nothing like what he had seen on TV or heard about from his friends. It couldn't be the real deal. I wanted to choke him, but he was right.
As soon as we got to the hospital, the contractions stopped.
My blood pressure, however, was another story. It started climbing and continued to climb throughout the morning. Since women with diabetes are more likely to develop pre-eclampsia, the doctor ordered a 24-hour urine collection to check for protein. That meant spending the night in the hospital for observation. (READ MORE)


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I am feeling a bit discouraged and overwhelmed today. Just a week ago I was high on getting my exercise in and then wham, I let it stop being top priority and it fell away.
I wish I could just wake up and eat what I like, not eat if I like, pretty much I'd like to do whatever I darn well please. I feel so much pressure. Pressure to eat right for the baby, eat right for the diabetes and weight thing, exercise, test at regular times, eat at regular times, log my eating, try to get enough sleep, write enough posts for here, etc., etc. I'd love to give up some sleep to get some things done, but that just messes with everything else I'm trying to do. (READ MORE)


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See that cat, he's jumping for joy - in spite of early-morning stressors...
I thought for sure I was going to be late.
I got in my car at 7:20 - I'd have enough time to make it into Providence for my 8:00 appointment with the doc - with time to spare. But there was traffic. A lot of it.
I was fairly certain my blood pressure would be through the roof when I finally arrived at the doctor's office 5 minutes late. (READ MORE)


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George Simmons
George SimmonsGeorge Simmons is a father and husband living with type 1 diabetes. A self proclaimed "born again diabetic," George began blogging as a way to meet other people living with diabetes and learn more about managing his disease. (Read More)
Michelle Kowalski
Michelle KowalskiMichelle Kowalski, a writer, editor and photography hobbiest living in Phoenix, was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in February 2005. In January 2008, as part of her quest to start on an insulin pump, Michelle learned that she actually has type 1 diabetes. (Read More)
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