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February 10th, 2012
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One of the advantages of modern technology is the ability to view remote events live; another is to discuss a presentation, while it is being presented, "in the back channel" — i.e., in a chat room or on Twitter. These technologies give many of us who could not otherwise attend a technical presentation the opportunity to attend virtually, and to participate. This past week has been chock full of such opportunities.

 

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There are times that I forget that I'm only 21 years old. Times where I miss the point that I'm young, I'm supposed to be enjoying this life that I'm living, and the basic premise that there's only one life to live (soap operas and all). It's the small moment in my head when I see a girl my age truly living; it's when my friends make broader decisions than I do; it's the monotony of trying to stay in control for all of time.

 

All these moments start at the root of one thing. Diabetes. Being diagnosed with a chronic, life-threatening illness at four years old doesn't do much to preserve childhood. Receiving strict rules and special accommodations all throughout those pivotal years doesn't make for the ability to live freely.

 

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Ever since I can remember, I've been a dreamer. Not only do I get lost in vivid day dreams, but my subconscious takes over in the darkness of night with raging images. Over the years, I've come to realize that I have a history of especially strange dreams.

 

They are a mix of nightmares, unrealistic events, and practical moments. I've had some that were premonitions, predicting coming events. Others were so far out of the box that I don't expect anything to resemble them in real life.

 

But the one thing that my mind usually keeps out of my dreams is diabetes and pain. No nightmare has ever involved diabetes complications, seizures, or even diabetes moments. It's so ingrained in my daily life that my brain doesn't find the need to remind me of it in my sleep.

 

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Right now, I'm staring at my logbook trying to decide what changes I need to make and what else I want to try with all this. This past week has been a bit rocky so my averages are all over the place. Mostly, they're high. At least higher than I want them to be. So while I'm staring at my book, I'm trying to piece together this last week and figure out what is going on with these numbers.

 

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The JDRF Promise Ball is coming up in just a matter of two weeks! I can't believe it's already here. I don't feel prepared at all. Sure, I've been fundraising for months and getting all that in order. But the rest of me isn't prepared to take a night to remember diabetes for the past year of my life.

 

Last year's Promise Ball was absolutely amazing. I took three of my friends with me; we got to dress up, valet park my car and eat a fancy dinner. As amazing as it was, it still brings me to tears today (almost one year later). Because the most amazing part was seeing how much was raised in one single night to find a cure for diabetes.

 

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A topic came up on one of the diabetesteentalk forums which got me thinking. The topic was about how diabetics miss days from school or work because of doctor's appointments, seizures or ketones. There were alternating perspectives. Some chose to think that if you miss for diabetes related events, you should be excused or allowed time off without feeling guilty. Others chose to think that you have to suffer through at work or school and should not miss because of diabetes. After all, it is a self managed disease. (READ MORE)


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Just the other day I was speaking with a group of co-workers about different life changing events in the life of someone with diabetes. As we sat there and talked about it I began to reflect on my own. I thought about the different times in my life such as diagnosis time, school, relationships, complications, and work. All things that every person living with diabetes can relate to, or will eventually deal with.

Where were you when you were diagnosed? What were you doing that day or at that particular time in your life? Were you at work? Were you at school? Did you go into a coma or diabetic ketoacidosis? Was your vision so blurry, that like me, you realized you couldn't see the picture on the t.v.?
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Every day, I live my life with diabetes the same way. I test my blood sugar, I treat lows and I change infusion sets. It is a part of me. Sometimes, it is all of me. I get frustrated on a regular basis with the highs and lows or the way it interrupts my entire life from school to dating to sleep.
It amazes me though when I look back on all those days. It makes me smile. As frustrated as I get and all the tears I cry, I don't remember diabetes as my past. Surely, it's there. I just don't remember the daily parts of the disease. (READ MORE)


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What an awesome, great, fabulous, wonderful time I had this weekend in St. Louis, MO. I attended a family retreat put on by the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. The event offered people associated with our disease MANY opportunities. There were tons of kids, parents, and loads of helpful information. If you are someone who has diabetes or someone who has a relationship with a person with diabetes then I would highly recommend becoming a part of your local JDRF chapter if you have not already. There are literally hundreds of them around the globe and the nation and you will get everything you need from them.
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2007 is behind us now. It blurred by and stamped in key moments that will surely be remembered. My past year with diabetes stacks upon only a few others since I was diagnosed. 2008 will mark four years since that day in the hospital and it seems like I'm always learning something new. Each highlighted moment in this year taught me a little more about how I successfully live with diabetes. (READ MORE)


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Michelle Kowalski
Michelle KowalskiMichelle Kowalski, a writer, editor and photography hobbiest living in Phoenix, was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in February 2005. In January 2008, as part of her quest to start on an insulin pump, Michelle learned that she actually has type 1 diabetes. (Read More)
Kim Doty
Kim DotyKim is a computer systems administrator for a major food manufacturer and lives in Colorado with her husband, Steve, and their children. She currently battles the bulge and tries to develop an exercise habit to better manage her blood sugars. (Read More)
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