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September 5th, 2008
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As everyone knows by now, my blood sugars have been elevated lately. Since about last Tuesday, my averages suddenly shot up into the 200s when usually I average 140s. All last week I was scared to make any changes just because I couldn't figure out why I was running so high. It's always my luck the day I increase basals that my blood sugars will drop back down and I'll end up with horrible lows. So I just kept blousing and tried to really watch what I ate to keep my levels down. Nothing worked. (READ MORE)


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I really don't like going to the doctor. The endocrinologist to be specific. Every time I go, I just seem to leave disappointed. Sometimes it's less disappointment than others. Sometimes I'm just so angry at myself and at this disease. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I get mad at the doctor (because OF COURSE, it's HIS fault I'm diabetic!). But mostly, the doctor just makes me feel alone in what I feel.

 

Today I had an endo appointment (if you didn't already guess). My last A1c was 6.9, my lowest ever. I was absolutely thrilled at that number, yet the perfectionist in me still wanted lower. And I honestly tried for lower (less in the last month or so though). But life got in the way.

 

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Today, October 10th, is the Great Virtual Breast Fest. What on earth is that, you may ask?

Well, recently, Bill Maher equated breastfeeding in public to masturbating in public. Um, what?! Facebook has removed pictures that women have posted of themselves, nursing their babies. They will, however, allow pro-anorexia groups and even pedophiles. Breastfeeding, however, is verboten. Lovely.

I don't understand this obsession with breasts and with making breastfeeding out to be something obscene, something that should be done in a toilet or under a blanket or hey, how about you just don't leave the house while you're breastfeeding that kid because I might see a bit of skin while I'm scarfing down my wings at Hooters. People are totally ridiculous on the subject.
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I decided to try the bioidentical hormone treatment. After reading books, studies and general information, I feel that I made an educated decision. I went to a seminar and personally talked to the doctor who founded the clinic. I spent hours on the web looking through positive and negative feedback from research studies, personal stories and major medical journals. And I used my brain.

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With a tainted past of endless symptoms ranging from irregular periods to joint pain, I am constantly looking for new ways to manage my life. By manage my life I mean that I look for new techniques to relieve stress, I change my surroundings to optimize my happiness and I closely examine the medical choices I have to make. This all started about three years ago. Right after my senior year in high school, I started experiencing an array of symptoms. Slowly, they all compounded leaving me with an entire page of bullet points of things going wrong with me. Joint pain, muscle weakness, fatigue, irregular and painful periods, headaches, ear aches, mood swings and so on. (READ MORE)


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...I don't want to make the effort. This has absolutely nothing to do with the amount of insulin I take or optimal blood sugar control--although those aspects of dropping a few pounds would certainly be welcome.
I simply hate the way I look. I can't stand how I look in a mirror. I wonder all the time if people are staring at my thunder things or three-baby-having flabby abdomen. Realistically I know I'm the one focusing on these issues, but as a girl I still wonder what others think.
It's ironic, but I find myself being judgemental of other plus-size women. How can she be taken seriously when she's so chunky? I'm sure the judgements go both ways, and I suppose this affects my self-confidence in a way I haven't been able to truly see.
It's easy to pick apart all the things that I don't like about my body, and I don't look at myself too long in a mirror, and I often imagine how other people see me. (READ MORE)


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Nicole Purcell
Nicole has lived successfully with type 1 diabetes for 25 years. She hopes that by writing about her experiences, she can help others to face diabetes - and its challenges - head on.(Read More)

Latest Posts: How does it happen? | Comrades | Connecting the Dots...

Kim Doty
Kim Doty has had Gestational and/or Type 2 diabetes since 2003. She lives in Colorado with her husband and children. She blogs about her world at On Line On Life On Insulin.(Read More)

Latest Posts: The Type 1 - Type 2 Connection | Change of Life | MOB Space, Indeed

Our Other Bloggers: Lindsey Guerin, Michelle Kowalski, Carey Potash, Rebecca Abma, Julia, George Simmons, Kerri Morrone, Andy Bell, Scott Marvel
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