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Today, I'm feeling very raw. You know that kind of emotion that leaves everything sitting on the edge, just waiting to burst through the dam? Today is one of those days. Where I could laugh, sing, cry, weep, or punch somebody at the drop of a hat.

It's an emotional state that's been building over the past few weeks. And today is the culmination of all that time compressed into a few moments of completely raw emotion.

School was rough the last few weeks. With an insane amount of tests and papers, I was running myself ragged trying to keep up, catch up, and finish up. Although it's over, I'm still a bit flustered from it all. Grades aren't published yet and the perfectionist in me is still angry over a bad test and a poor paper.

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The old fable of Androcles and the Lion -- or in some versions, the Mouse and the Lion -- highlights an unusual amity between two beings who are usually considered predator and prey. In the story, the lion has been crippled by a thorn stuck in his paw which he could not reach, see, or remove. The prey, whether mouse or man, sees the problem, overcomes his fear of the predator, and offers to remove the thorn. The wound heals, and the lion is ever thankful to his unlikely physician.

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"And their Egyptian taskmasters made their lives bitter with hard work..."

Upon our iniital diagnoses of diabetes, many of us turn bitter at the world. We are overwhelmed with the amount of work that goes into testing, logging, carb-counting, and adjusting our insulin or other diabetes medications. We may feel bitter about having to restrict or completely forswear our favorite foods, or bitter at the way our society may blame us for our diabetes (this is particularly true for people with type 1 diabetes, which has no known associated lifestyle factors).

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It's my time...to rejuvenate my life.

November is always a crazy month for me. First, it's my birthday month. Second, it's also like 5 of my friends' birthday month. Third, it's Thanksgiving! Fourth, it's the busiest month in school as projects, papers, and exams take place all right before final exam season in December. Fifth, it's American Diabetes Month!

So here we are at the 2nd already...wasn't it just September last week? Sheesh...this year is flying by faster than I can even say it's flying by. I have lots of plans for American Diabetes Month. And I'm definitely excited to start checking some things off the list while exploring some new fun ideas.

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I don't like to post "downers" on Blogabetes unless I can turn them into cautionary morals, or calls to action (either on our own behalf, or on the behalf of all people with diabetes) -- most of us have too much negativity in our lives already. That said, life has been throwing me the sorts of curve balls that force me to think more of survival, mortality, and quality of life than I am comfortable dealing with.

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If you have diabetes and you're on Medicare, call now to get the new talking meter. These new meters are more accurate, they're easier to use and the best news is, you don't have to prick your fingers anymore.

The commercial actor, an older man with grey hair in a pastel sweater, holds up all ten prick-free fingers for emphasis.

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I'm battling pretty severe nausea again this evening. I decided to stop the Metformin and just stay on the Wellbutrin until my body adjusted. But at this moment, I'm greatly reconsidering that decision and thinking that I might stop the Wellbutrin altogether. I'm not sure that it's the right choice for me or for the people who love me.

I didn't exactly plan to tell my mom this evening that I'd started the antidepressant, but it came up and I got exactly what I expected. A lot of shock and a lack of encouragement about being on them. She doesn't believe that my life is bad enough to warrant antidepressants (because in her mind, they are only to be used for extremely bad situations like the death of a child or a sick spouse or some other catastrophe).

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Sometimes I hit points in my life where I'm just not sure where to go next. I get a strong feeling that something needs to move or shift or change, but there's no clear answer or path. It's not the kind of ambivalence or discontent that leaves you feeling restless in life. I've had that too and usually solve it with a vacation.

This is the kind of emotion that is brought about by high stress and a definite need for change. When life isn't going quite right and in order to keep your sanity, some aspect needs to move out of the way so that life can move forward and not get stuck inside the stress ball that's growing.

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