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I have to do something this afternoon that I've never done before. And I'm not looking forward to it. In fact, I suspect there will be ridiculous amounts of screaming and crying.

No. 2 needs bloodwork. *sigh* Actually, she's the toughest of all the kids when it comes to stuff like this so she may surprise me and not throw a fit, but I'm seriously not holding my breath.

She has a strange mix of things going on with her and the doctor thought getting some bloodwork would either help rule out a connection or help us treat the problems as a whole.

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Once a year my company offers health screenings -- free -- and an incentive (such as a gift card) for taking the health screening. I think it's a great idea for companies to do this because there are plenty of stories about people who don't go to the doctor enough and then go through a health screening at work and discover that they have diabetes or high cholesterol or that they're this close to having a heart attack.

That's great. But I don't participate mainly because I already know what's going on with me. I see my OB once a year, I see my primary once a year, and I see my endo every three months complete with blood work. There is nothing that a health screening can tell me that I don't already know. In fact, it would likely do nothing more than piss me off because someone with little knowledge of diabetes would be telling me that I test too much or questioning the validity of a CGM.

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It's not news to you that I despise my "monthly gift," right? Well, if it is, consider this your warning that roughly every 30 days I tell Aunt Flo to "Suck It!"

Not only have I almost always had wacky cycles, but the pain and discomfort that came with this "gift" was usually more than I could bear. It's a difficult discomfort to explain. It's like being bloated and feeling constipated; there's this constant ache in my lower abdomen. And the fatigue just completely wipes me out. I rarely have sharp cramps that many people associate as traditional menstrual cramps, though.  

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Last week I called my OB's office.

"Hi. I'm a patient of Dr. I. I'll be 35 next week, haven't had a period in 57 days and I'm not pregnant," I told the triage nurse. "And the last few cycles have gotten progressively farther apart."

"Well," she said, "women can have signs of perimenupause as many as 10 years before they actually go into perimenopause or menopause."

Fantastic, I thought. Just what I needed to hear: You are officially getting old.

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My averages for the past two weeks were quite amazing. My only highs were generally after breakfast (still). Unfortunately, I had quite a few lows in there. But I have to say that working full time seems to keep my blood sugars at a more stable rate (even though I was moving boxes 70% of the time). And unfortunately, I think quite a few of the lows and falling averages were from stress.

Stress seems to work backwards on me. When I'm nervous, I drop like a rock. When I'm upset, I tend to average out at a lower level. I don't see a lot of highs when I'm under the pressure.

And lately, I've been extremely stressed. To the point that I'm getting ulcers in my mouth (a common occurrence for me during stressful times). I have so much going on in my life right now.

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I’ve never been formally diagnosed with depression. After having post-partum depression after No. 1 and No. 2 were born, I pretty much recognized the symptoms. It took Harry looking at me and actually calling me on it (“How depressed are you?”) for me to finally get help for it.

But back then one of the reasons I didn’t seek out a more professional opinion was because I was unemployed and scraping every penny I had for everything I did. In fact, after Harry prescribed an anti-depressant for me I wasn’t able to take it because insurance didn’t cover it and I couldn’t afford to shell out $100 a month for it.

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It's Election Day. As the polls are continuing to count their votes, I'm watching the news coverage mostly unaffected. I know that whomever takes the country this year is going to bring big change for all of us. It's that kind of year. Even if it isn't a presidential election.

The votes are coming in with an overwhelming Republican projected sweep. Generally, I would vote Republican because I tend to be more conservative when it comes to taxes, gun control, et cetera. Yet I'm a moderate which means that I don't side with either party. I'm the kind of voter that would much rather pick and choose topics rather than parties. Let me vote yes or no for the "don't ask, don't tell" act. Or choose how the healthcare reform should be handled. Don't make me pick a party.

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First of all, you suck. No question about it. I hate you.
 

You make me feel lousy. Every inch of my body feels rotten. You invade my brain and make me hate myself and question so much. Hell, you even made me postpone an internship interview once!
 

You make me so cranky that I don't even want to be around myself. I relish the quiet darkness when everyone is asleep instead of watching my kids laughing and just being kids. You do this to me!
 

You make me want to dig my uterus out with an ice cream scooper. Or a fork.
 

You have no pattern. You come when you want, which only unnerves me more.
 

You completely f--k with my blood sugars and the fact that you have no pattern makes that little gem even worse because if I knew when you were planning to make your grand entrance I could watch for the lows!
 

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