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In April 2008, I went to my urgent care doctor for several reasons. The first was a strange side pain that I'd been having for two days. The second was that my blood sugars were just not budging from the 200s and 300s. Then there was an intense shoulder pain.

The side pain started out tolerable on my lower right side. It was just a burning twinge that I noticed throughout my day. It got a little worse and the blood sugars seemed to follow over the next day. By the morning of my doctor's visit, I was wanting to curl in pain and forget the world.

It turned out that I had a ruptured ovarian cyst. It was bleeding into my ovary which was causing the intense pain. It was most likely brought on by an aggressive workout that I did a few days prior (the rupturing, not the cyst). It eventually helped me obtain my diagnosis with PCOS (that and the acne, irregular periods, hair growth, hair loss, and other lovely symptoms).

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I've blogged before about being an advocate for taking diabetes "breaks." Sometimes this disease can get overwhelming, annoying, and just plain upsetting. So every once and awhile, I take a little break. I don't test as often. I try not to get upset when I run high. And I stop worrying about the food I'm putting in my mouth. I even stop worrying about getting my usual exercise in.

The last week has been exactly that. And my averages are definitely running high. So I figure today is a good day to start getting myself prepared for getting back on track. One last day of diabetes irresponsibility. It's just one of those days where I'm tired of sitting around and doing nothing. I'm ready to start fresh.

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I feel like a complete dipsh*t.

I was so hung up on finding the best care for myself that instead of taking the time to investigate my options (as I have been doing today) I quickly went for an option that was out of my price range.

While the roughly $800 I owe Mayo is inconsequential compared to what I may be faced with if I didn't have insurance or what other people may face, it's still a blow to my pocketbook right now.

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and it's not about me.

I'm not even sure it's about medical insurance -- but it's sure about the D.

I've recently learned that a recent infection has cost a close real-life friend (and fellow PWD) another one of his toes, and a sizeable chunk of uncovered medical expenses. Until this weekend, a number of his close friends (including me) had known he'd been hospitalized, and that there was talk about a skin graft after everything healed -- but we didn't know the extent of the damage (both physical and fiscal).

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The one thing that I'm truly exhausted with regarding my health lately are the details of having one chronic illness on top of a slew of hormonal issues. The bills, the prescriptions, the actual supplies...I'm tired of dealing with them all. I'm running out of room in both my actual living space and in my life.

Throughout the month, I spend quite a large amount of time and money organizing and ordering supplies. Sometimes it's insulin prescriptions, vitamins and supplements, and sometimes it's all the hormones that keep changing on my endless list of pills to take. No matter what it is, it gets thrown into the mix of everything else going on with me, which sometimes means that things slip by or end up in disarray.

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When I met with our new CPA for the first time, I brought him everything I could think he would need. In 2008 my family and I lived in two states and between me and my husband we had five jobs.

As we sat down to talk taxes, he asked the obvious, normal questions. And then the biggie: he wanted to know if I kept receipts or records from doctor's office co-pays or any other medical treatment. No, of course not, because I had no need to. Well, in Arizona, he said, you can write off your medical expenses, right down to your office co-pays.

Well, hot damn, I thought! I have tons of medical expenses!

"Co-pays, really?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Prescriptions?"

"Yes."

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In the past month, I have spent quite a bit of money on medical bills. $296 for a dental nightguard to save my teeth. $50 for my endo appointment, another $50 for my eye exam. $45 for my birth control. $412 for 6 months of contacts and a new pair of glasses (this was even on sale). And so many other odds and ends like a blood pressure cuff, miscellaneous prescriptions, and vitamins. Not to mention the $50 per visit copays to a new therapist.

I can't afford this. Right now, I'm making decent money for my field and my insurance is free of charge. But I still struggle when prescriptions come due or miscellaneous expenses come around. It becomes burdensome to order insulin, strips, and other diabetes supplies. It becomes outrageous to buy these extra necessities like glasses, dental issues, or therapy.

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This morning, I have the heat up and a fire burning. I'm attempting to take this third "snow/ice day" to get some of my own work done. Papers, research, and taxes. I also have to handle a stolen paycheck at some point (although I don't think the roads will let me get very far today and that requires a trip to the police station).

This cold weather does not motivate me to do much. Especially things that require running around town like picking up school books, going to that police station, and getting decent groceries. But even inside, I'd rather just curl up under my covers and watch TV.

There are things on my lists that I have to do though. I have to pay bills and handle some odd charges on my internet bill. I have to pay my taxes at some point (thanks, Uncle Sam). I also have to decide what my living situation is going to look like in the near future.

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I despise politics -- political or office or otherwise. First I don't really understand much of it and second I just don't see why people have to act like high school all the time.

It's only been recently that I paid much attention to the presidential election. I remember voting in my first presidential election; I was a senior in college and voting by absentee ballot. I felt it was my civic duty to vote, but I couldn't figure out what the real issues were because there was so much mud slinging. The guy I voted for won, but I remember thinking "He hasn't done such a bad job the last four years, so he's probably the lesser of the two evils." Yes, that's seriously what I based my vote on.

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