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When it comes to diabetes, mistakes are a given. They are going to happen. Being human and having a chronic disease that can impact memory, mood, and cognitive aptitude make mistake-making a given. But mistakes don't have to rule our existence. They don't have to be the thing we focus on. And when they are the thing we focus on, that often leads to more mistakes.
So, rule #3: make your mistake, learn, forgive, let go, move on. Good lord, is that difficult to do sometimes. On Tuesday this week, I forgot to bolus for lunch. It wasn't a big lunch and forgotten boluses don't happen that often, particularly now that I'm on injections. Thing is, my ghost pump reminds me. I eat or have an elevated sugar and I naturally go looking for my pump, when it's not there - it reminds me to give an injection.
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Categories: Type 1 Insulin & Pumps Highs & Lows
Tags: diabetes maintenance emotions errors making mistakes
Views: 1489
Ah! It's a new day and my fasting blood sugar comes in at a sweet 103 mg/dl. "Not too shabby," I think, maybe feeling a bit arrogant.
I go about the business of the day - exercise, hop in the shower, dry the hair, feed the cat - get in the car for work. Drive 30 of the 45 minutes it takes to get there.
And then I think - caught in a wave of abject panic, "Where is my pump?"
I do the pat down, you know the one. I pat with flat, frantic hands at my bra, my hip, my waistband. And I know then exactly where my pump is. On the shelf in the bathroom, pumping insulin into oblivion instead of into me.
"Man." I think. I also think. Alright, maybe I say aloud - a number of colorful words not suitable for a family website.
And I head back toward home, calling the office to let them know that I've been delayed. (READ MORE)
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Categories: Type 2 Real Life
Tags: co-pay costs Doctor visits HbA1c lab tests making mistakes
Views: 821
About a year ago, my PCP's office decided I needed to make separate appointments to have my blood work drawn, a week before my PCP appointments, extorting an extra co-pay so that my doctor and I can have some meaningful interaction (my insurance requires the lab work to be sent out, with about a five- to seven-day turnaround). There's nothing unusual about the blood work -- just the standard glucose panel (with HbA1c), metabolic (liver function) panel, lipid panel (cholesterol), blood count, and urinalysis.
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Categories: Type 1 Type 2 Oral Meds Insulin & Pumps Highs & Lows Relationships Emotions Real Life
Tags: A1c results diabetes judgement diabetes police Doctor visits
Views: 922
Since I changed my endocrinilogist last year, I've really been happy with my experiences with Dr. K. She's the kind of doctor that means business but doesn't come off as if she's judging you. She tells you what she thinks, but leaves it up to you what to do. So usually, I'm fairly excited (yes, I said excited) about going to see her. Even when I know I've been doing 85% of things wrong.
This appointment didn't feel that way though. I just really didn't want to have to go. I've been making some changes and my averages are down. I didn't want to hear that I'd been doing this and this wrong, even if she does leave off the judgement. I just wasn't willing to expose all those mistakes to the light.
And I feel torn between wishing I would have canceled and being excited about the outcome.
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Categories: Type 2 Real Life
Tags: craving goals motivation
Views: 1193
Often the best way to figure out if something is going to work is just to do it. I'm a firm believer in learning from mistakes and working out kinks while actually doing what you said you were going to do.
That said, I've realized fairly quickly that I need to revise my list of goals for this month. Only slightly, but particularly my goal to only drink one soda or less per day. While it has been pretty easy to cut out my mindless first-thing-to-the-office soda and replace it with a ginormous cup of water, there are other times of the day when I really crave a soda. And, actually, there are times when a fountain soda can pretty quickly curb my desire for something sweet from the vending machine. (READ MORE)
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Categories: Insulin & Pumps Highs & Lows
Tags: (none)
Views: 1668
I guess I spoke too soon a few days ago when I declared my love of pumping, claiming it was so simple and my blood sugars were perfect.
While the machinery (and all the cool things it does) is still quite awesome, I forgot about good old human errors. Just a few hours after I posted about loving pumping, my blood sugar was high. Not terrible, 180, but still higher than my two hour goal of 120. I figured it was the meal--pepperoni bread made with whole wheat dough, which is essentially pizza--so I corrected and went along my business for the afternoon.
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Categories: Type 1 Insulin & Pumps Highs & Lows Real Life
Tags: am I to blame blood sugars guilt shame
Views: 3204
Over the weekend, I had a low blood sugar in the middle of the night that left me feeling like I had been beaten soundly and left in a ditch. (Covered in petrol, a la Eddie Izzard.)
It was a strange experience, though, because the "low hangover" feeling was neatly accompanied by a feeling of guilt. This low wasn't one that came out of no where and smacked up upside the head. This low was the result of a miscalculation while I was at dinner. (READ MORE)
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Categories: Type 1 Type 2 Food Fitness Real Life
Tags: accountability dieting weight loss
Views: 1799
I have had some major hurdles in my life and recently have been jumping over them one by one. Not with ease or speed but with planning, determination, and most of all accountability.
The hurdle I have now is weight loss. I have been fat all of my life (except right before I was diagnosed) and now it is time to shed those pounds. I joined weight watchers a while ago which I know I have mentioned here but I was just recently away for three weeks due to three things. One weigh in I skipped because I was just tired and slept in, another when I was sick, and the last was when we went out of town.
This last weekend I finally went back to weigh in for the first time in 2008. It was not pretty. I had gained 7 pounds in 3 weeks! I knew I had gained so it was not a total shock but there is a part of me that hopes for some sort of gravitational miracle as soon as I step on the scale. That did not happen of course. (READ MORE)
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Categories: Type 1 Type 2 Real Life
Tags: getting back on track starting new habits
Views: 974
Since classes ended last week, I've been able to step back from life and take a deep breath. This semester was absolutely insane. I was taking six classes (18 hours) and none were all that easy. On top of that, I worked my normal amount. Plus, I've further established Diabetic Echoes and held weekly meetings on campus.
Needless to say, I haven't had much time for myself or for my diabetes. I'm months behind on my logging. I haven't uploaded my pump information since September. I'm eating whatever is fast and nearby, instead of making conscious choices on my nutrition. Plus, I haven't kept a steady workout routine.
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Categories: Type 1 Children Food Highs & Lows Emotions Real Life
Tags: Blog diagnosis story gum
Views: 1411
Can we be better caregivers? I guess. We can always be better. We were thrown into this diabetes life without much warning just like many of you. We were caregivers merely by having children, but care-giving on this level is a beast of another color.
On this day, six years ago, Charlie was diagnosed with diabetes. He was still slurping from a bottle. What is it about the fall? So many people are diagnosed this time of year.
The changing leaves. Halloween. Sunday football. Apple cider. Sweaters. Murder within the pancreas. All trademarks of autumn.
I was giving Maeve a bath when Susanne decided to take him to the hospital despite the pediatrician’s lackluster opinion on the matter.
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