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January 9th, 2009
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So now I don't know what to do.  I caught Olivia in a couple of blatant, non-diabetes related lies tonight and my whole thread of hope that it might be a meter issue vanished like the pathetic puff of smoke it was.

 

Is it appropriate to punish a kid for lying about her diabetes stuff?  Part of me is really inclined to because it's not just failure to remember, it's outright lying.  But the other part of me, the part that's a total pushover at times, is hesitant.  I think I need to be harder on her than I have been, but I'm not sure how hard to be.  I don't want to come down like a ton of bricks, but I don't want her thinking she can constantly pull one over on me.

 

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I went out to lunch with a group after church today. I have not been going to this church very long and this was my first time joining this group. I didn't know any of the people very well at all.
I had the 4 year old and the 6 month old along and they were keeping me hopping. (Actually just the 4 y.o.) We all perused the menu. It was a Mexican restaurant.
[I can hear the gasps from you now. Mexican food is very high carb, high fat and difficult to judge as far as blood sugars. It's also a big fat no-no for most diet plans.]
I made a not-wise selection but justified most of it by substituting whole black beans for the refried beans that came with the lunch special. Yes, the fiber would undo the 100 grams of carbs I was about to ingest. Then I tuned into the discussion across the table. (READ MORE)


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This might sound odd and I'll probably get various opinions on the topic, but I decided to try online "dating." I haven't had success with meeting the right person here in college, so having someone else pick for me seemed like a great idea. My logic is that more mature, serious guys will be on dating sites, rather than the typical college scene.

 

As I set up my profile on one of the sites, I started to wonder about how to present my conditions (both my diabetes and my other conditions). I decided to leave it out of the "About Me" sections for fear that people might judge me and move on. I didn't want to have my "cover" read incorrectly.

 

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Yesterday I had to go up to the school because the nurse called to say that Olivia had pulled out her site. On an overhead projector. I have no idea how she did it (and forgot to ask when she got home), but she did. Off I trotted, with a new site, the Sil-serter and a back up reservoir in hand.
When I got to the school, I had to cool my heels in the nurse's office waiting room. When I was a kid (no, it's not the up hill, both ways in the snow barefoot line, so hush), the nurse's office was a desk and a cot. It was dim and cool in there, a great place to lie down when you were feeling poorly or *ahem* hadn't studied for a test. I remember lying there, tracing a pattern in the ancient wallpaper and trying not to freak out over the crucifix hung over the head of the bed. (READ MORE)


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I ran out of my sugar free coffee creamer yesterday and didn't go get more. This morning, instead of using low fat milk and Splenda® in my coffee, I decided I could use my husband's regular flavored creamer. This stuff is 5 grams of sugar per tablespoon. I probably use 2 tablespoons per cup and I had 3 cups. I'm pretty bad at sizing up a tablespoon, so it was probably closer to 7 or 8 tablespoons total. That's 30-40 grams of sugar on an empty stomach.
You can guess what happens next. Suddenly, I can hardly keep my eyes open. I take my kids down to the family room and we all park in front of the TV. Next I'm lying down. I dozed off for about 20 minutes. When I woke up I wondered what had caused this exhaustion. Maybe I had taken ill. It took a few minutes before it dawned on me. (READ MORE)


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Diabetes occupies a full-time space in my head with a steady stream of voices. It is loud and omnipresent.
The voices question me: "I wonder if his blood sugar is OK?"
The voices remind me: "It's time to check his blood sugar."
The voices fool me: "His blood sugar should be OK."
The voices intrude on a blissful moment alone with just the baby; Lying on our backs in the yard and staring up at the sky with a comfortable breeze lifting our shirts and tickling our bellies.
I point out everything around us as Ben does his best to repeat the words. He often leaves off the first few consonants.
"Trees," I say, pointing straight upward.
"Eeeeez."
"Sky," I say.
"Eye."
"Grass" gives him some trouble as well. (READ MORE)


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Thanksgiving reminded me of my diagnosis. No, diabetes wasn't on my "thankful for" list. It's actually around the time of year when I was diagnosed.
Thanksgiving 2003, I had what I thought would be my last slice of pumpkin pie. My aunt made it, using my grandmother's "secret" recipe (hint, it's on the back of the Libby's can). Since I was about to be diagnosed with diabetes, I savored every bite.
My diagnosis came pretty much by accident. On Wednesday of that week, I went to the doctor thinking I had a urinary tract infection, but that wasn't the case. My urine sample showed a lot of sugar and a finger stick pretty much confirmed the doctor's suspicions. I was still send for lab work-a fasting glucose and an a1c test-but as the doctor said, glucometers don't lie. (READ MORE)


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False hope begins with an article torn out of a magazine, folded up into a neat square and given to me by my friend's mother. A photo of a cute 7-year-old girl with an embroidered pink flower clip in her hair lying on her bed alongside an expressionless Hello Kitty doll tucked behind pink pillows. The girl displays three white pills in one hand and a blue insulin pump in the other. And, of course, a smile. A warm, understated smile.
And my focus turns to words. Words in bold; words that are capitalized; words that are enlarged.
"From Pump to Pills"
"LIFE-CHANGING NEWS"
"First grader with DIABETES can now live her life free of daily insulin injections"
Being cautious about getting too excited, I scan the article for conjunctions such as however, but or although floating across the page like dark rain clouds. (READ MORE)


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"Mom, I've been peeing a lot today. Prolly five times since we got home," No. 1 says to me as I'm lying on the bed counting the seconds until the kids go to bed. Yes, it's been a stressful, well, five days, and I can't wait to go back to work. But I digress.
No. 1 has been "complaining" quite a bit lately about his need to frequently see a man about a horse. He doesn't know that those comments make the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. My head goes right to worst-case scenario, although reality does tell me that he has no obvious symptoms on the diabetes checklist.
Sure, he's going potty more often than he thinks he should, but he's not drinking obsessively, he's not overly tired (usually beats me out of bed in the morning, in fact), doesn't have an insatiable hunger, nada. (READ MORE)


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We finally got some snow in our neck of the woods. It wasn't much, but just enough to sled in, play in and of course get hypoglycemic in. We've been so desperate for snow; we would have taken sledding down a mountain of mud after a heavy rain at this point.
What we find unfortunately is that trudging through the snow is so strenuous that it sinks Charlie like a stone. He was low all weekend. Even while being detached from his pump for much of it.
And now for the "damn you, diabetes" segment of this post:
I remember how exciting it was when school was cancelled due to snow. I loved snow days. Can't Charlie just enjoy a snow day without diabetes spoiling it? After a morning low on Friday, the kids played in the snow for a while. When Susanne called out to Charlie to ask how he was feeling, he stopped flapping for a moment and lifted two thumbs up skyward while lying on his back in mid snow angel form; huge smile upon his face. (READ MORE)


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Kerri Sparling
Kerri Sparling, diagnosed with type 1 diabetes when she was six years old, doesn't let diabetes define her. It just helps explain some things.
Creator of the diabetes blog Six Until Me and an editor for dLife, Kerri is an awareness advocate and an active member of the diabetes community. She'd also like a kitten. (Read More)


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