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November 21st, 2009
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I've known him since I was a junior in high school. We met during the years that I wasn't taking care of my diabetes. I don't even remember telling him I was diabetic. I'm sure I did, but I doubt that I made it as detailed of a thought as it should have been.

 

It took me about two years after I met him to finally get my diabetes act together. By that time, he had moved out of state for college. We barely saw each other, so he never experienced what my diabetes was really like. He didn't experience the terrifying lows or the frustrating highs because he just wasn't around enough to see.

 

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I received a comment on my post from yesterday that really struck a chord with me. The reader commented that their parents had died from diabetes and that they would die from it too.

 

When I read that I got choked up because honestly, I feel the same way.

 

Sure I plan on fighting the fight and checking my blood as often as I am supposed to. Of course I will continue to work on my A1C and losing weight. I am not giving up on life at all. But, in the back of my mind I “know” that diabetes is going to win in the end.

 

Will it be heart disease, kidney failure, or a stroke? Maybe something else. Who knows?

 

The fact is that with all the steps I take to live healthy the odds are against me. Diabetes has the upper hand which makes me sad and angry at the same time.

 

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This is not the post I intended to write this morning.
Today, I woke up to a fasting of 151, which is pretty darn good considering where I've been lately. I dressed for my morning walk, sat on the couch and ate what I'm now referring to as a snack--a small cup of yogurt, just 15 grams of carbs. It was all I needed to sustain me through my walk. I used to eat half of a peanut butter sandwich, but it's really hard to choke down that much dryness before the sun even comes up. But I digress.
I decided that with a fairly decent fasting, so few carbs and a 30-minute walk upon me that I didn't need to take any insulin. I mean, 15 grams of carbs! C'mon! (READ MORE)


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There's been some talk among a few bloggers in the Diabetes OC lately (well, at least a couple of the d-bloggers that I read) about the blog audience: do we prefer to write/read a blog about a person who happens to have diabetes or a blog about diabetes that is written by a person.
 

I think that for some blogs, I'm drawn there because the person has diabetes and frequently writes about that fact. I'm no less inclined to read someone's blog because they stopped writing about diabetes as often.
 

Today I read a d-blogger who wonders if she reads and writes about diabetes too much. Probably, she said, but being seeped in the community helps keep her sane with this relentless disease.
 

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I promise you, I don't go looking for bloggable moments from Charlie. I don't follow him around the house like the Verizon Wireless guy, asking, "How do feel about diabetes now? How do you feel about diabetes now? How do you feel about diabetes now?"
Take last night, for instance. I was minding my own business as I dried him off after his shower and we walked into his room, when he hits me with ,
"Dad, do you ever wish you had diabetes?"
"Well ,," I said, stalling while thinking how best to respond.
"Well, sometimes I do because I don't want you to feel alone."
"Oh," Charlie said with a thin smile. "I thought you were going to say 'no.'"
"Why?" (READ MORE)


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For a number of years, I was the only diabetic I knew. Diagnosed when I was a little kid, there wasn't an army of advocates knocking down the doors of my school. As far as I knew, the only meter in my elementary school was mine. In my high school, there were two meters: mine and the one belonging to a classmate's older sister. No one else I knew was taking a fingerstick before having the orange slices at soccer practice, or before tap dance lessons.
My first taste of a diabetes community came one summer at camp. Growing up in New England, I had access to one of the best diabetes camps in the country - Clara Barton Camp. I spent six summers at CBC, giggling with my fellow campers, singing my lungs out at the nightly campfire meetings, and making friends. (READ MORE)


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I love music.

 

Ever since I was a little kid I could sing and dance to every song on the Earth, Wind, and Fire greatest hits record. I would dance whenever Sir Duke by Stevie Wonder was played even if it was a jukebox in a crowded restaurant. And no matter the time of night, when Barney Miller’s theme song started my mother said I would come running from my room in my PJ’s to dance to the song in front of the TV.

 

I love playing it, listening to it, and even writing it sometimes. When I was a kid I played the trumpet. In Junior High learned percussion which I played throughout high school and in my 20’s I learned to play guitar. Lots of music always playing around my home and car. I love it.

 

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When I tell my "real-life" friends stories about my friends from the Diabetes Online Community (DOC), I'm often told that my stories make these people sound real.
"Well," I say, "They are real. In many ways more real than some people I've met face to face."
I usually get the look then. The one that says: Nicole has been spending too much time online. Nicole's friends all live in the box.
That's the furthest thing from the truth. I mean - really - who can spend too much time online? And my friends don't live in the box, they just talk to me through it. Right?
I'm getting to the point. Patience. (READ MORE)


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To say June was a tough month for us financially is a huge understatement. I won't go into details, but suffice it to say, I found myself getting very creative with how to pay bills and continue to eat and get my meds. Oh, and pay for daycare so I could go to work.
Along the way, because we were living at the bottom of a pit, our life insurance policies lapsed. Naturally, the company sent us a letter, but I was avoiding all envelopes that I didn't believe had money in them. So I overlooked the notice. Furthermore, our insurance agent couldn't get to us until October to fix the problem. So we didn't know until about a month ago that we had been living without life insurance for several months. (READ MORE)


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Things are better today. I appreciated the comments I got on my “What the F?” post. I agree, yeah sometimes I do probably think things to death. And yes, we all have “those days” from time to time- diabetes or no diabetes. Like I said, writing those posts in my “diary” (blog) made me feel much better. I said that it was good to see my diary again … and I meant it.

I also meant what I said about my martial arts and my health and being thankful for having the physical abilities that I am graced with. I try and maintain that positive outlook all the time.

With that being said and put aside for the time being, I would like to talk about a few other things today. I would really like to hear from you guys. If you don’t have the ability to comment, you should really see about becoming a member of dlife. We would love to have you contribute your two cents in the comment section below. (READ MORE)


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Kerri Sparling
Kerri SparlingKerri Sparling, diagnosed with type 1 diabetes when she was six years old, doesn't let diabetes define her. It just helps explain some things.
Creator of the diabetes blog Six Until Me and an editor for dLife, Kerri is an awareness advocate and an active member of the diabetes community. She'd also like a kitten.
(Read More)
Michelle Kowalski
Michelle KowalskiMichelle Kowalski, a writer, editor and photography hobbiest living in Phoenix, was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in February 2005. In January 2008, as part of her quest to start on an insulin pump, Michelle learned that she actually has type 1 diabetes. (Read More)
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