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People with diabetes, and those touched by diabetes, follow their journey with the disease through a myriad of winding emotional paths. Depression is very common for those newly diagnosed, sadness can rear its head at different stages in the game, and a little humor and humility can even find the door to expose itself from time to time. The keys for controlling those doors are littered all over the place and on  Wrld Diabetes Day today, you can follow this map of internet hotspots. Expose diabetes for all that it is, good and bad, and then share it with others. Find an emotion and embrace it!

 

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Today is the sixteenth anniversary of my diabetes diagnosis. And I'm not sure that I know what I feel, or if I'm feeling anything at all. Should I celebrate? Should I reflect? Should I move on and never recognize the day at all?

 

I definitely believe that it's a day worth recognizing. Sixteen years with this disease is a lifetime, a major feat, a true achievement. But I guess I just don't know how to feel on the actual anniversary.

 

For me, diabetes is a daily walk. It's a constant celebration. I'm always cursing it. Not a second of my life goes by without considering the consequences of diabetes, both in the present and in the future.

 

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Today is World Diabetes Day, by golly, although I doubt I'm going to get cake. (And how funny would that be? I'd eat it, too.) It does present a good opportunity to stop and actually assess my life as a diabetic.
I know, that's not politically correct. I am not supposed to self-identify as a diabetic. I am supposed to call myself a Person with Diabetes or a Swell Guy with a Complicated Pancreas or Blood Glucose Challenged or whatever. I suppose there's a newsletter that I should subscribe to in order to get the proper talking points. (READ MORE)

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To The Woman Staring:

 

You can look away now. We mean you and your family no harm. We come in peace. I assure you, the soft, black case with little rockets on it we are unzipping and spreading open does not contain materials to construct plastic explosives. You can look away. The boy is safe. We are not trying to hurt him. You are not witnessing a public display of cloning. I promise you. My wife is merely testing my son's blood sugar. It's something we do quite often. If you must know, he's 268. Surely you've seen blood before. Haven't you? Because, I have to say, you are looking at us right now like we're a decomposing octopus.

 

Seriously lady! Why don't you take a picture? It lasts longer. No, really, grab your camera. Quick! You can still get the blood in mid-drip. Do your kids want to get in the picture? There's some room in front. Just crouch down a bit. OK, smile everyone! CHEEEEEEEEESE!

 

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Last week, Kelly at Diabetesaliciousness blogged and tweeted about diabetes misconceptions she'd like the folk at Mythbusters to debunk. This past Tuesday, the theme for the sixth annual D-Blog Day was "Six things you'd like people to know about diabetes". Around the blogosphere we saw everything from "Don't tell me I can/can't eat that" to "don't pity me" and, most of all, "Don't assume that my diabetes is the same as your [cat's, aunt's, grandmother's, BFF's ex-lover's second-cousin's mother-in-law's] diabetes". (READ MORE)

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Last week, I spent several days in Mexico on vacation and on a business trip. With the extra carbs and the change in normal routine, my averages went from the 140's to the high 150's. I had one or two severe lows and a handful of minor lows. I also had one day where my pump site went sour and sent me soaring into the 300's for several hours.

 

Coming back from Mexico has been interesting on my blood sugars. I've had a few lows, of course. But at the same time, I've decided not to try so hard to keep my numbers down. I'm not completely blowing it, but I'm just not stressing myself out over highs and off numbers.

 

So Monday night, I decided to order a pizza while working on a research paper. It was nice to eat the pizza, do a fairly normal bolus, but not stress about what my blood sugar might be in the next 12 hours. I didn't even freak out when I saw consistent 200's on my meter screen.

 

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It's unusual for me to have nightmares — especially nightmares about flying. Mine are usually about family relationships gone completely awry. But facing a World Diabetes Day on which I am working at a place whose uniform does not allow even a touch of blue, having given Nick Jonas my last World Diabetes Day pin (and not having had the money to replenish my stash), and having failed to have the presence of mind to do the Big Blue Test at least once (even though I am bicycling to and from work at least half the time), I feel a bit like a diabetes failure. (READ MORE)

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Things have been busy lately. And they are about to get even busier. I've been working on the scrapbook from my Europe trip. I'm still applying for jobs and researching my move. Plus I've had the odds and ends of having a life, a family, and friends...like my brother buying his first house, my best friend leaving for 5 weeks, and helping my mom with a volunteer case.

 

So once again, it's one of those times that I've let diabetes slide into the backseat unnoticed. Instead of sitting down with my logbook and actually recalling the details, I'm guilt-ridden when I glance at it. I'm not even sure what kind of insulin to carb ratio I'm using. It was supposed to be 1:8 and maybe I've done that but I just can't seem to recall. My brain is just not in diabetes mode.

 

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Just the other day I was speaking with a group of co-workers about different life changing events in the life of someone with diabetes. As we sat there and talked about it I began to reflect on my own. I thought about the different times in my life such as diagnosis time, school, relationships, complications, and work. All things that every person living with diabetes can relate to, or will eventually deal with.

Where were you when you were diagnosed? What were you doing that day or at that particular time in your life? Were you at work? Were you at school? Did you go into a coma or diabetic ketoacidosis? Was your vision so blurry, that like me, you realized you couldn't see the picture on the t.v.?
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Over the weekend, I had a low blood sugar in the middle of the night that left me feeling like I had been beaten soundly and left in a ditch. (Covered in petrol, a la Eddie Izzard.)
It was a strange experience, though, because the "low hangover" feeling was neatly accompanied by a feeling of guilt. This low wasn't one that came out of no where and smacked up upside the head. This low was the result of a miscalculation while I was at dinner. (READ MORE)

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