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November 21st, 2009
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What a weekend. What a month really. The past few weeks have been non-stop forward movement for me. Every weekend, I'm heading home for doctor's appointments or JDRF Walks or just "family" time. And all through the week, I'm running between classes, errands, friends, and daily happenings. My to do list is insanely long, filled with essays, exams, oil changes, grocery shopping, and cleaning.

 

Thankfully, my numbers seem to be settling down. I increased the Lantus dose by one unit back on Wednesday. And it worked until about Friday when I started seeing an endless amount of lows. I was stuck in the 60's, no matter what. So today I've lowered it back down to my usual dosage...hoping that I can get higher numbers, but not too high.

 

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Peace, Harmony and The Purpose of Life

Everyday people with diabetes are faced with the conscious decision to live or to die. Our decisions have to be made consciously as they are scrutinized much more closely than the non-diabetic. But ultimately, we are no different.

This is the realism that we encounter many times throughout the course of any day. This is what we deal with and this is the reality that we live with in our lives. We either live with a conscious effort to understand and control our diabetes or we make unconscious decisions and then pay the immediate bad prices for these actions. Life as a diabetic is not an easy one. It is a life that has to be lived under constant management and awareness of everything.

The smallest of things has the largest of impacts.
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I'm often told what a wonderful mother I would make.
I'm often asked if Bob and I plan to have kids of our own.
My answer is usually something along the lines of "Who knows? Maybe someday we'll decide to adopt or foster children, but it's not likely I'll be giving birth anytime in the future."
This is around the time in the conversation that I get "the look." Sometimes, the person will express out loud what "the look" says so clearly. "It's the diabetes, isn't it?" (READ MORE)


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When I was little, I imagined a perfect life. I picked careers, pretended to make life-changing decisions and pictured my future. Nothing was affected by realistic needs and the facts of my life. I could be anything and never worry about discrimination in the workplace. I could live anywhere and not stress over medical access or insurance. My mind was limitless.
Now I make these life-changing decisions for real: I pick future careers, places to live and potential spouses. Now I have limits. My decisions factor in my diabetes and my future with diabetes. I look at things like job requirements, insurance benefits and personal reactions to my diabetes. Everything is affected by it. (READ MORE)


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This Saturday we celebrated my nephews first birthday.

 

It was a monkey themed party with the cutest cake and great decorations. I swear my cousin's home looked like a jungle. She must have purchased all the bananas they had at the store. There were bananas everywhere!

 

After singing "Happy Birthday" the cake was cut. It was a shame to have to cut such a cute cake but it was a cake and well, I would rather eat it instead of looking at it. 

 

It was a chocolate cake with banana cream filling. All home made and all delicious. 

 

I almost didn't find out though.

 

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I have no idea why it didn't hit me until yesterday afternoon. I know what stress does to my blood sugars: it lowers them. They get pesky and no amount of carbs will bring them up. So as I was contemplating this weekends' low annoyances, it hit me. Stress.

 

Last week, my stress level definitely went up. The first round of tests started for the semester. I had group meetings and papers due. Plus I've been dealing with the medical stress that comes with changing treatments and making important decisions. All that added up to leave me with averages like 84 and 69 (over six hours of riding in the 60's).

 

So Saturday morning, I dropped the Lantus back to my original dose (14 units in the morning and 15 units in the evening). I'm still having a few lows (more than the week of highs), but I'm also seeing a mix of highs in there. Sadly, those highs are my own doing.

 

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To My Beloved Children:

 

I want you to know how many years I've thought about you before you've even been born. I want you to know that I've prayed over you, loved you, and considered you long before I took you into my arms.

 

From the time I knew I needed to be a mom, I started making sure my life was set up so you had the best life. I planned my life to feed you, clothe you, love you, and keep you safe. No decision regarding your future went lightly on my heart.

 

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I was really hoping for magic when I started this new routine. I wanted an easy transition from the pump to MDI's. I wanted an "out" from the pump...a way to say that it really isn't working and it's all the pump's fault. I really don't even want to be putting these words to paper.

 

But I am. I'm confessing. Lantus and Humalog are not working out any better than the pump. The week before I went off the pump, my averages were at 140 (and that was with pizza on two occasions). I wasn't having as many lows as before, although I was still having them.

 

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Since I'm right in the middle of my "dating prime," dating is on my mind. Of course, there is the typical stuff about meeting new guys and just trying to be myself while catching their attention. Then there is the serious side of me that wonders about the long term situations and all that entails. To top it off (like a cherry on a sundae), there is dating and diabetes.
I'm usually okay with dating and diabetes. I don't hide it, but I don't flaunt it. I always take a survey of the situation before throwing diabetes into the mix. I don't really have a problem telling dates about my diabetes. It's something that is completely a part of me and therefore, something they must completely accept. (READ MORE)


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Having been away for a weekend of fun since Friday morning, I feel like I've been living under a rock! Albeit a really fun rock, with a little alcohol, BBQ, and great music, but still a rock.

 

So, as I watched Barack Obama introduce his first Supreme Court appointment, Sonia Sotomayor, this morning, I was taken aback to discover that she has type 1 diabetes. That she was diagnosed at eight years old. That she's lived with type 1 for 46 years.

 

How incredibly inspiring for people with diabetes. Even more inspiring, I would imagine, for those raising children with type 1.

 

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Lindsey Guerin
Lindsey GuerinLindsey is a typical, yet unique, Texas girl who loves shopping, movies and reading. She loves to travel and take risks. She dreams of diabetes cures, never-ending cheesecake and her own airplane. The rest you can discover in her blog! (Read More)
Michelle Kowalski
Michelle KowalskiMichelle Kowalski, a writer, editor and photography hobbiest living in Phoenix, was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in February 2005. In January 2008, as part of her quest to start on an insulin pump, Michelle learned that she actually has type 1 diabetes. (Read More)
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