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November 21st, 2009
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After doing this blogging thing for a while now, I’ve learned that people get their diabetes blog fix for several different reasons. Some people are looking to gain knowledge in the management of diabetes (not from mine, I pray). Others are hoping to see that they are not alone in their struggles with this disease. Some are just looking for a laugh.

 

But more than anything else, I think people simply want to vent. To vent unlimitedly or vent anonymously (if you so choose to) or vent profanely if that floats your boat. People find comfort in venting their troubles to an accepting audience; one that hears where they’re coming from so crystal clearly. You can only vent about diabetes so much to friends and family. The eyes begin to glaze over like little roasted chickens on a spit when you speak at length about infusion set malfunctions or ketones.

 

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I don't think I've ever told you about our Pest Guy. To say he's creepy is an understatement, but nearly every time I see him I wind up with a story to tell.

 

If you want to keep the scorpions out of your house here, then you need to spray for crickets (because they're the main menu for scorpions, apparently) pretty frequently. So Pest Guy comes every other month. And in his defense, he knows what he's doing because when other pest guys from his office come we wind up with crickets.

 

Anyway. So Pest Guy usually comes on the weekends, but I screwed something up once and he wound up coming one day when I was working from home. So as he's doing his bug thing around the house I'm sitting at my desk doing editor/writer stuff and he asks what it is that I do.

 

"I'm an editor," I tell him.

 

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Right now, I'm a complete bundle of nerves. Last night, I suddenly decided that today I would go off the pump. I know that I've been talking about it, but I assumed that I'd get it all straightened out and be back into "normalcy" before April 1st came around.

 

But you'd be surprised to find that poor control is actually NOT the reason why I'm going off the pump. In the past two weeks, I've had some highs and far fewer lows (which is just amazing). My averages are still in the 150 range though, which is what I'd settle for to get down to the 130 range (slowly, without lows).

 

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I started using a pump back in October of 2007. It was a rough and terribly rocky start. The pump company wasn't helpful and left me stranded in the dark with this new technology. There were moments that it left me sobbing over the phone to my mother, claiming that I was seconds from throwing the expensive device against the wall. My A1c climbed from 6.9 to 7.6.

 

After about six months of that and some help from the online community, I finally got the pump closer to being stabilized to my life. It still wasn't pretty. My A1c plateaued around 7.3 and 7.4. I couldn't seem to make the pump fit with my life, despite what everyone was saying. Apparently, I wasn't as stable as I needed to be with my schedule.

 

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The other day, Michelle posted about censoring her blog to not upset her mother sometimes. I realize I do this too, but not for the same reason. I tend to censor my writing out of superstition. I'm like one of those people who mouth the word cancer. When things are going good for me, I know if I blog about it, things will quickly turn around.

 

Last week, I chose to not look over my shoulder (or toss salt over it) and jump up and down with glee over my new pump. I was so excited about it, and how much easier it made my diabetes control.

 

I should know better than to speak up when things are going good. I should have whispered instead. I even knocked wood to fend off the fates, but I guess they heard me over all that banging.   

 

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Okay, I will warn you up front that this post is a total rant and has no other substance besides the fact that I need to let off some steam. I am also looking for some of you who have dealt with this annoying stereotype.
As I was minding my own business here at my desk the janitor comes up to me and asks me if I have to take shots everyday. I realize that he was listening to a conversation I was having with a co-worker about insulin and so on. A total eavesdropping moment right? So I answer, "nope." And totally leave it at that.
He says, "Oh you got off of insulin. That's good. Just a diet now or pills?"
"No I have an insulin pump."
"There is a gal in another office I clean that has to shoot up every day." Then he does it. He does this sort of motion with his right hand towards his left upturned arm. As if he is shooting up heroin or something right into his vein! (READ MORE)


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There was the researching, and the chats with the doc,. There was the mental tug-o-war between my daily injection comfort zone and my need for more flexibility, and now, like the quickness of a self-inserting cannula, I am pumping insulin by way of the OmniPod. (READ MORE)


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I have to admit that I get buyer's remorse quite a bit. I don't know what it is. I do have a tendency to be indecisive at times, but who isn't?
So several weeks ago, you'll recall reading that I was hot to trot to get the Omnipod. I scoured the company's web site. I e-mailed my endo and asked if he had any patients on the Omnipod who I could talk to. I asked my friends at Diabetic Mommy if anyone was on it and if they could give me their experience.
The web site didn't have the type of personal experiences I was looking for (i.e. Just exactly how do you sleep with it?). My endo doesn't have any patients on it, and there were only about two mommies at DM who are on it. (READ MORE)


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I woke up this morning about 30 minutes before my alarm to answer a call from nature. I stumble to the restroom and as usual I set my insulin pump on the sink counter. I should explain that I have a relatively small bathroom so the sink is pretty much half of the room. Well, no sooner do I set my pump down that it slides off and slams on the floor.
Ouch!
I have had my pump fall before but this one sounded extra hard. I leaned over and picked up my poor pump to see if it was okay. It was not. The screen was blank and even though I closed my eyes and wished for it to be fixed, it did not work. (READ MORE)


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As I sat in the lower level of the on-campus trolley stop I thought about the injection I just took and the maze of shots I take every day. How many more shots will I take in my life? How many more times will I have to stutter-step, looking for a good place to shoot-up some insulin? How drastically might an insulin pump change my routine? (READ MORE)


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Michelle Kowalski
Michelle KowalskiMichelle Kowalski, a writer, editor and photography hobbiest living in Phoenix, was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in February 2005. In January 2008, as part of her quest to start on an insulin pump, Michelle learned that she actually has type 1 diabetes. (Read More)
Carey Potash
Carey PotashCarey is a full-time hater of diabetes. The benefits stink. His 7-year-old son, Charlie, has been giving he and his wife the finger since November of 2003. Carey's parenting humor has appeared in various websites and print magazines. He resides in the suburbs of Philadelphia with his wife and three children. (Read More)
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