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March 18th, 2010
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Thursday night, I decided to stay up a little too late (or early, we shall say). My mother always warned me when I was younger to monitor my blood sugars closely when I threw my sleep cycle off. I never figured out why, because I always seemed to be fine. What does me being a night owl have to do with blood sugars?

 

But Thursday night was an extreme. I didn't get to bed until just before the sun was rising. I made sure to sleep in as long as possible (and managed 6 hours of sleep) just to make it through the day ahead of me.

 

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I was invited to be part of a local mini-series. How exciting! I envision my name in lights, a crowd of adoring fans, gorgeous women at my feet,.
What's that? It's not actually a TV mini-series? My mistake,. (READ MORE)


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I once blogged about how wonderful the world would be if only Charlie would eat Jell-O - one of the few "free" snack foods we have to work with. Back then, he would take pleasure in poking it, squashing it with a spoon or dropping it in his brother's diaper, but nothing more. He refused to eat it. (READ MORE)


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Olivia was supposed to babysit yesterday afternoon, but because we got 87 inches of snow, it was canceled. She was disappointed about not getting paid but I think a little relieved about it, too.

She was going to be babysitting another kid with diabetes (and his little sister). I'm friends with this woman, Deb, who lives in the next town - we met thru the Children With Diabetes email list. Deb thought that Olivia would make a great babysitter, since she knows all about diabetes. I think Olivia was having qualms.
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(Continued From Previous Post)
I am dependent on insulin. But I am otherwise an incredibly independent person. I like taking risks - on my own. I enjoy the feeling of having accomplished something by my own will and my own action. I am more outgoing and more confident than I think I would have been if I'd not been diagnosed. A combination of wanting to be able to handle my disease on my own, without pity or judgment AND the experiences I had as a young woman - through the Clara Barton Camp and the ADA's Youth Congress - transformed me from a shy, albeit precocious kid, to a person who stands on her own. A person who keeps her head up and battles mightily - in the face of whatever wrong she sees and whatever challenges she faces. But would I trade my independence for a life without diabetes? I would - though again, who's to tell if something else might have brought me to this same place. (READ MORE)


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Today, I have had diabetes for twenty five years. And I'm not sure exactly how I feel.
I guess, lucky - my body is free, so far, of complications.
I also feel somewhat happy and strong - I mean, I started this journey as a scared, angry little girl and I'm here now - a somewhat accomplished, otherwise healthy, happy woman.
And I feel a little sad - for the weight of diabetes is surely heavy on some days. I don't let myself think of what life might have been like if I'd never been diagnosed - because - really, what would be the point? I think more of the constant juggle and the often unavoidable failures and the sheer relentlessness of diabetes management. And yeah, that makes me sad. (READ MORE)


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One ice cream in a Mickey Mouse bowl for Ben.

 

One ice cream in a pink bowl for Maeve.

 

And one ice cream for ...

 

"Whoa! I’m definitely not having any," Charlie said, staring down at the number on his meter.

 

He showed me the 480 regrettably - like it was an F on a math test.

 

I peeled down his sweat pants and saw loops of bloody tubing. Charlie didn’t scream at the sight of it. Instead, he ran over to show Maeve, who was chipping away at her vanilla fudge ripple.

 

"Ew!" she said.

 

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I refilled two prescriptions this evening. My insurance works best through mail-order prescriptions. It allows me to order 3 months of supplies for a discounted co-pay. It also adds some convenience to this disease since it delivers to my door instead of forcing me to go to the pharmacy and stand in line. I definitely enjoy using a mail-order pharmacy.

 

As I was refilling the prescriptions, the online mail-order system calculated my costs. It totaled my co-pays ($60 for Humalog and $90 for strips). On top of that, it showed me the total costs for both the insulin and the strips. And I have to say that I was amazed. I know that all this is expensive, but it's been awhile since I've considered what my prescriptions actually cost (not my co-pay cost).

 

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There are times that I forget that I'm only 21 years old. Times where I miss the point that I'm young, I'm supposed to be enjoying this life that I'm living, and the basic premise that there's only one life to live (soap operas and all). It's the small moment in my head when I see a girl my age truly living; it's when my friends make broader decisions than I do; it's the monotony of trying to stay in control for all of time.

 

All these moments start at the root of one thing. Diabetes. Being diagnosed with a chronic, life-threatening illness at four years old doesn't do much to preserve childhood. Receiving strict rules and special accommodations all throughout those pivotal years doesn't make for the ability to live freely.

 

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Lindsey Guerin
Lindsey GuerinLindsey is a typical, yet unique, Texas girl who loves shopping, movies and reading. She loves to travel and take risks. She dreams of diabetes cures, never-ending cheesecake and her own airplane. The rest you can discover in her blog! (Read More)
Carey Potash
Carey PotashCarey is a full-time hater of diabetes. The benefits stink. His 7-year-old son, Charlie, has been giving he and his wife the finger since November of 2003. Carey's parenting humor has appeared in various websites and print magazines. He resides in the suburbs of Philadelphia with his wife and three children. (Read More)
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