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One of my recent posts highlighted how diabetes can blind side us on any given day. It doesn´t fit into the mold of life, especially MY mold of life. This has me wondering, "What is diabetes control?"

Some people in my life have questioned whether or not I am out of control as a diabetic. They wonder if I know as much as I seem to know or if I actually practice what I preach. They wonder how I can blog about numbers like 47, if I truly manage this disease.

My statements to them are always the same: everyone´s diabetes is different. Mine is complicated by other health conditions. I also have a history of lows; lows that sneak up on you and catch you unaware.

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As people with diabetes, we are tasked by our medical teams with conducting our lives in a manner such as to minimize or mitigate the destructive effects of our medical condition. A lot of press is given to the concepts of "patient compliance" and "patient adherence" -- enough to raise the blood pressures of many of us past the levels covered by our antihypertensive, renal-protective pharmaceuticals. The idea of being "a diabetic in control" (or "out of control") has also been known to raise the hackles of a number of the T1s among us, whose blood glucose levels vary with the tempo and dynamic (but none of the grace) of a Mahler symphony.

Like the four movements of a symphony, or the members of a string quartet, the cornerstones of diabetes self-care are:

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I'm currently on Ortho Tri Cyclen Lo, which is a low estrogen triphasic birth control. I picked this one years ago because it was low estrogen and had the same progestin that's known to decrease acne. Plus it comes in a pretty nifty diskette...mine has a flower on it in fact. I only stayed on it for six months back then though because it wasn't really helping with the cramping that I was having. Nor did my acne seem to improve.

I went back on it a few months ago because of the Accutane regimen that requires birth control use. It seemed the safest option after Seasonique left me with 21 days of breakthrough bleeding. This is my second completed pack. And I think I'm beginning to see a pattern with my blood sugars.

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I may not be the first to say it, but at least I'll own up to it: I can be controlling sometimes. OK, a lot of times.

There are times when I'm OK with it and then there are times when being in control takes its toll on me and I completely flip out about feeling like I'm the only one who does anything around the house.

So the last time I flipped out I basically threw my hands up, said I was going to bed (at 6:30 p.m.) and told The Mr. "You handle it." I was totally serious. Climbed into bed, put my glasses on the nightstand and closed my eyes. Like the good husband he is, he came upstairs and coaxed me downstairs for dinner.

While we were talking he said, "Do you want me to come up with a plan for all this?"

"Fine," I said. "Take over."

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Several people have told me lately how A1c results aren't all that important. I agree that A1c's aren't the ONLY lab test or number that diabetics need to be concerned over in their diabetes management. But it's also ingrained into me that A1c's are a very important number in diabetes control.

For about ten years, I went to a doctor who was directly involved in the DCCT trial. I researched the DCCT for a science fair project in 7th grade. I've seen the results. I've heard the stories. A1c results are valued by most endocrinologists in this field. Obviously, there is something to this.

For me, my A1c is one of the telling factors about my control. It's the guiding light at the end of the tunnel. There is an ultimate goal in my mind regarding my diabetes and regarding that number. It's important to me. I'd rather have a lower A1c than risk running at a higher result and increase my chances of diabetic complications.

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I switched birth controls last week to Ortho Tri Cyclen Lo. A birth control pill I'd been on back in 2007 with no issues. It was a much needed switch since the Seasonique was giving me horrible nausea and had caused breakthrough bleeding.

Unfortunately, I've totally messed up my hormones now I believe. Because even after switching, I'm still getting breakthrough bleeding. And it's much worse than before. Not only is it a different kind of bleed (less spotty, more like a normal period), but I'm having pretty severe cramps on a regular basis.

This is day 21 of the breakthrough bleeding. And I thought at day 11, I was done. But now, I'm so incredibly annoyed and frustrated that I can't even put it into words. All I want is to go back in time and not take the Seasonique. Or at least not without getting a period.

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I suppose I've hit the point where I've become a "morning" person and left the "night owl" behind. Yesterday, I woke up around 8am. Today, I woke up at 7:45am. So much for sleeping in on the weekends. And so much for staying up late.

Now, I fall asleep at 8pm while I'm watching TV. I can't make it through a movie after 9pm. I'm forcing myself to stay awake past 10 or 11pm. It's a complete 180 from my former life where I stayed up until 2am, slept in until 1pm, and never kept the same schedule twice.

It seems to be helping my blood sugars though. The steady schedule seems to keep me on track instead of seeing such different numbers throughout the day. I've noticed higher numbers on the weekends since I started the new job, but throughout the week I'm running in a decent range for the most part.

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Not many people know that I've been seeing a therapist off and on since my sophomore year of college. A few of my close friends do, but I've never really expanded on why I see one or what goes on. It's something that I'm not really opposed to discuss, it just usually doesn't receive feedback the way that I want it to. So I keep it to myself unless it comes up.

Back in 2008, I started seeing a counselor to help me through some family issues that I was having. My health was the furthest topic from my mind. But when I look back, a major portion of those two things were combined. I've stopped therapy twice. Once because I didn't like the therapist and the second time because I just wasn't feeling the right kind of energy.

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For this latest quandary, I offer this question up to the diabetes community at large. The topic is puppy love. Who knows more about puppy love than people with diabetes or parents of children with diabetes?

There's a girl in Charlie's class who appears to have a mad crush on him. He has mentioned for quite some time that she is always staring at him. More recently, she nervously approached him and said that there was something she wanted to tell him. She tried, but couldn't and walked away. The next day, she and some friends approached him again. The friend was about to say something to Charlie when the girl reached from behind her to cover her mouth.

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