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If you experience pain as a result of your diabetes, what have you found to be the best way to alleviate it?

May 26th, 2012
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Thanks to En Vogue for those lyrics. We got back from vacation late Friday night but I'm still feeling my way back to my "new normal".

 

10 days in New Mexico in a travel trailer with kids (ages 4 & 1) - it went really well!  Yes, that's shock you see in my punctuation!  We went places and saw people and ran, ran, ran.  The weather was beautiful, highs hovering around 80.  They have gotten a lot of rain and some Dolly-effect flooding this summer, so it was quite lush by New Mexico standards.

 

Unfortunately, I didn't replace my workouts as I had hoped I would.  Read that as "hoped, but didn't make definite plans for ahead of time." I need to remember that for the future.  On the plus side, I was much more active than usual.

 

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I took Charlie to a party on Saturday. It was in a large, old church hall with high wooden rafters and lots of wide-open space. When we opened the door, Charlie sprinted like a racehorse out of the gate, joining his friends who were busy whipping rubber balls at each other's heads at high velocity.

 

We had already discussed that we were going to pass on the pizza and Charlie was cool with that. Although many college students (and my high school humanities teacher) would be of a different opinion, Charlie does not like being high all night.

 

Charlie has an interesting way of describing things. He tends to invent his own words that end in "er." For example, for a party like this one, he would typically wonder if there was going to be a "jumper" there. Translation - a trampoline.

 

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I don't expect everyone I've ever met to remember that I'm diabetic. There was a period that I barely told anyone about it, unless I was absolutely forced to. So how could they remember if they never knew?

 

I do expect my close friends, family and important people (i.e. my coworkers, my professors, etc) to remember that I'm diabetic. After all, most of them see the daily battle that diabetes is. How can you forget that?

 

But so often, my friends forget. Sometimes I feel like my own family forgets. They get involved in their own lives, their own problems and forget about this portion of my life. Yet, I can't excuse them.

 

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A friend emailed me this week after someone posted something on their blog implying that his characterization of his daughter's illness as a "bad thing" was wrong.  I've heard this kind of argument before about disability or brokenness.  That somehow, manageable chronic disease (particularly disease that onsets in childhood) can't be a "bad" thing because it's a part of a person - or because it's helped to shape a person.  Well, I call B.S.

 

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No matter how commonplace diabetes has become, I still react the same way when I see a person with diabetes in the wild. I still feel a special connection despite the fact that I don’t physically share the disease. I get excited, like I’ve just spotted a rare plant species or a member of a secret underground society - whose cover is only blown with the slightest hint of pump-tubing. I feel like there should be a unique handshake or some sort of enigmatic hand gesture.

 

I walked by an all-glass conference room at work the other day and saw two guys sitting at a long spruce-colored table and glancing up at the large flat-panel monitor on the wall. As I walked by, I saw one guy begin to unzip a small black pouch.

 

"Hmm," I thought. "I think I just saw a diabetic."

 

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Most of the time, diabetes is a heavy weight to carry.  It overwhelms the body, the soul, and the mind sometimes.  During sick times, the physical management is challenging.  During healthy times, the physical management is challenging.  During all times, the mental and emotional management is near impossible.

 

But even with the load of diabetes on my back, sometimes it smiles on me.  Sometimes, it shows me the kindness of others in a way I would never have experienced without it.  Sometimes, it brings the most light-filled, heartening, beautiful people into my world.  Sometimes, it shows me my own true grit, my own ability to overcome extraordinary challenges.  Diabetes opens doors that, without the weight of chronic illness, would stay closed.

 

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I generally consider myself to be fairly mature for my age. I've attributed my maturity to the experiences I've been through, mostly from dealing with a chronic illness from such a young age. It definitely puts a different spin on your whole life. You consider life as temporary, something to be cherished. You know you don't have all the time in the world.

 

Despite the maturity, I've still got growing up to do. There are things that diabetes and all my other experiences haven't taught me. I still have the passion and will of my youth to contend against on a regular basis. I'm holding on to pieces of that youth for good reason, seeing where maturity can change life for the worse in some ways.

 

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Nicole recently blogged about her late aunt's battle with the dual diagnosis of depression and diabetes, and wondered why -- with modern medical care available to her, and with prescriptions to deal with both illnesses -- her aunt took neither, allowing her body to destroy itself piece by piece, taking only the medications prescribed to her for pain.

 

While I don't presume to have known Nicole's aunt Margaret, I can see a number of issues that can complicate the combined issue of self-care and chronic disease in general, and diabetes in particular.

 

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Last week was Invisible Illness Week which I missed thanks to my crazy work schedule and inactivity here in the blogosphere. But there was a "30 Things About My Invisible Illness" meme floating around that I really wanted to get in on. So here it is:

 

1. The illness(es) I live with is/are: Type 1 Diabetes, PCOS, and endometriosis

 

2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 1993 and 2009

 

3. But I had symptoms since: Two to three weeks before. I got sick very quickly with the D. The PCOS/endometriosis took several years to diagnosis.

 

4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: I have no idea considering that I don't remember what life was like before this. I'd say in recent years, the biggest thing has been bolusing for even the tiniest amount of carbs that go into my mouth.

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Marvin and I spent the weekend with my family and doing a lot of driving across the state of Texas. Generally, Marvin is incredibly understanding of my health issues. He's been through many ups and downs with it. He completely gets what diabetes does and is for me.

 

But Saturday night, he said something that was a little unsettling because he hadn't said it that way before. Sometimes when I'm not feeling well or having a few "bad days" (pain, nausea, fatigue), he'll make a comment that I'm always sick. Nothing concerning though.

 

On Saturday evening, my stomach was a little upset while we were watching movies at my mom's house. We'd eaten Chinese food for lunch and I think it just wasn't sitting well with me. I'd also gone from low to high in a 2 hour span. I expressed that I didn't feel well to Marvin.

 

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Michelle Kowalski
Michelle KowalskiMichelle Kowalski, a writer, editor and photography hobbiest living in Phoenix, was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in February 2005. In January 2008, as part of her quest to start on an insulin pump, Michelle learned that she actually has type 1 diabetes. (Read More)
Carey Potash
Carey PotashCarey is a full-time hater of diabetes. The benefits stink. His 7-year-old son, Charlie, has been giving he and his wife the finger since November of 2003. Carey's parenting humor has appeared in various websites and print magazines. He resides in the suburbs of Philadelphia with his wife and three children. (Read More)
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