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March 19th, 2010
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I haven't realized how hectic the last week has been until tonight. School is picking up. I've had doctor's appointments and health concerns. Plus my social calendar has taken off like a rocket.

 

So I'm sitting down to do my averages tonight. And not liking what I'm seeing. But I'm also understanding that this may be an "uncontrollable" bump in my blood sugars.

 

My averages have jumped back up this week to the high 160 range. I'm perturbed at some of the results I see...like a 44 followed by a 56 or a 363 from slacking on my boluses. But I also know that some of these highs are my own doing...although I can't say much about the lows at this point.

 

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In the past month, I've really gotten off track with my life. School and work seemed to be picking up, so I set a few things on the back burner (not to mention that I had a flare up with my other health conditions). The things that got pushed to the back were really major pieces of my diabetes management.

 

For one, I stopped working out in the way that I had been leading up to mid-March. Before Spring Break, I was working out at least twice a week (jogging 1.5-3 miles on the treadmill). But after Spring Break, life got in the way so I didn't make the time to add those workouts back into my schedule. I made all sorts of excuses: I was too tired, I wanted to go out with friends, I hadn't watched TV in forever, I had to study. Sadly, I think I've worked out a total of three or four times in the past month...that's just really disappointing.

 

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My averages had been looking much better the last few weeks with the mix of keeping a stable schedule and eating a little better. I was having my usual bouts of lows (in the 50's) with the lower averages, but I was also working to correct those issues. So this week, I'm sad to report that my averages have soared back up with the onset of school.

 

The first week of school (or any time I get sincerely busy), I tend to let my diabetes slip. I check my blood sugar less often and at the most unusual times. I don't stay on top of my insulin, as in I let my Lantus doses fall outside the typical 12 hour range or delay my boluses. On top of all that, I tend to eat off schedule (since I'm still adjusting to the change in daily routine) and never decent meals.

 

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Lately my control has been great. A month ago, I can honestly say that it wasn't. When I blogged about my last endocronologist appointment, my diabetes was in the driver's seat. I was getting a two thumbs down rating from the critics. Well, if you have been staying up with my entries, you know that as of lately my schedule has changed drastically. My new daily routine is making a HUGE DIFFERENCE with my sugars (This is the part where I attempt to sound smart and provide you with some advice that you are probably already know.) I just want to say to you, if you are a diabetic, or know someone who is, and if you currently have an irregular daily schedule(like me when I was personal training with random hours), then I can tell you that you will GREATLY benefit from getting on a day-to-day routine. (READ MORE)


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Ugh.

 

That is the perfect one word description of my diabetes management these days.  I am off the rails.  I am not on track.  I am completely (or so it seems) - out of control.  I see highs, I see lows, I see some in-range sugars - but mostly - not. 

 

Today, for example.  68 mg/dl this morning.  No breakfast, because I was too busy, just some Fuse Banana Colada juice.  119 mg/dl at around noon time.  Salad.  No test until 4pm.  4pm.  And I've tested two times today.  Then I'm 200 mg/dl...  So what do I do?  I have a carb heavy dinner and some ice cream.  I am 236 mg/dl at 6:30 pm.  I am 175 mg/dl now.  Terrible.  Terrible.  Terrible.  And not rare these days.

 

I haven't been to the gym at all this week.  Work activities.  Home searches...  Other stuff that's - distracting. 

 

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Saturday was one of those random days for my diabetes. I have been thinking about it and I have come up with a few ideas about why my sugars were off. For one thing, it's the weekend and I ALWAYS seem to have difficulty keeping things on track. I am sure that all of you out there can relate to this. Saturday and Sunday come around and sleeping patterns go out the window! All throughout the work week, I get up about the same time each morning; eat the same size breakfast and then go through my typical work day. Well, then the weekend gets here, and I am eating at completely different times and having irregular meals. And when it comes to physical activity on the weekend, I am either extremely lazy or working exceedingly hard. (READ MORE)


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Both of my doctors, my endocrinologist and the doctor in charge of my bio-identical treatment, have sent disability status letters for me. It actually took very little effort, despite the initial feedback from the nurses in the beginning. I'm happy to get these out of the way and go forward with the process. I'll also be writing my own letter to support my case with a personal note.

 

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I've swallowed my pride and decided to apply for disability services here at school. They can offer me a few resources that I do not have access to otherwise. Most importantly, they give me the ability to register early for class and to notify my professor's that there is a legitimate health issue that I deal with.

 

The past two semesters, I've considered doing it, but I've also thought it was too embarrassing. But finally, things have gotten to the point where I'm realizing that it's not embarrassing, it's reality. So I've taken the initial steps to go through with it.

 

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The past four days have been a real pain. I have no idea what my problem is, but I just can't seem to get my diabetes right. I had been going fine, doing everything correctly, testing like a mad woman, and getting great averages.

 

But something got a hold of me on Sunday night and hasn't let me go. I'm checking a lot still, but I'm seeing numbers like 180 or 220 instead of 100 or 120. I'm eating anything and everything I want. I'm not bolusing for snacks. I'm not calculating boluses correctly. Basically, I'm just slacking.

 

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Blah, blah, blah, here she goes again, pissing and moaning about logging.

Back when the year was shiny and new, as opposed to snow-covered and grubby (and enough with the snow already, ok? I'm SICK of it. Sick.) I resolved to be more diligent about logging Olivia's blood sugars. And for a few weeks I was. And then I forgot for a couple of days. And then it was Thursday and I thought, well, I'll just start over on Monday. And I forgot again.

I've logged in fits and starts over the last 2 months, but mostly, I haven't logged at all. And now she has an endo appointment tomorrow and I'm not going to have that much information to give her and I'm pissed at myself.

I just don't know how to make myself log. I forget. And if I'm forgetting to log, how am I supposed to teach Olivia? I'm not setting a good example at all and they always tell you (who are they anyway?) that you should lead by example when it comes to your kids.
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Michelle Kowalski
Michelle KowalskiMichelle Kowalski, a writer, editor and photography hobbiest living in Phoenix, was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in February 2005. In January 2008, as part of her quest to start on an insulin pump, Michelle learned that she actually has type 1 diabetes. (Read More)
Kim Doty
Kim DotyKim is a computer systems administrator for a major food manufacturer and lives in Colorado with her husband, Steve, and their children. She currently battles the bulge and tries to develop an exercise habit to better manage her blood sugars. (Read More)
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