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I'm currently on Ortho Tri Cyclen Lo, which is a low estrogen triphasic birth control. I picked this one years ago because it was low estrogen and had the same progestin that's known to decrease acne. Plus it comes in a pretty nifty diskette...mine has a flower on it in fact. I only stayed on it for six months back then though because it wasn't really helping with the cramping that I was having. Nor did my acne seem to improve.

I went back on it a few months ago because of the Accutane regimen that requires birth control use. It seemed the safest option after Seasonique left me with 21 days of breakthrough bleeding. This is my second completed pack. And I think I'm beginning to see a pattern with my blood sugars.

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I switched birth controls last week to Ortho Tri Cyclen Lo. A birth control pill I'd been on back in 2007 with no issues. It was a much needed switch since the Seasonique was giving me horrible nausea and had caused breakthrough bleeding.

Unfortunately, I've totally messed up my hormones now I believe. Because even after switching, I'm still getting breakthrough bleeding. And it's much worse than before. Not only is it a different kind of bleed (less spotty, more like a normal period), but I'm having pretty severe cramps on a regular basis.

This is day 21 of the breakthrough bleeding. And I thought at day 11, I was done. But now, I'm so incredibly annoyed and frustrated that I can't even put it into words. All I want is to go back in time and not take the Seasonique. Or at least not without getting a period.

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As I said in my last post, I’ve been taking Byetta for about two months now, and I wanted to talk a little bit about my experience with the medication so far.

For the most part, I think I’ve taken to the whole injection thing rather well. I was, admittedly, a little bit nervous at first. Much like the apprehension I felt when I first started poking my fingers to test my blood sugars, the nervousness I felt about the injections subsided quickly. I never cease to be amazed by the things you can get used to doing when it has to be done in order to survive.

As I mentioned before, I currently take two 5 mcg injections each day. I take one within 60 minutes of breakfast, and another within 60 minutes of dinner. And as I said before, the only side effect I’ve had so far has been an increase in acid reflux, which is now under control. The only other issue I’ve had with the medication is in regard to injection sites.

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Life seems to be constantly changing for me lately. I feel like I can't seem to get a firm footing before something else comes along or I realize that I need to focus on a new area. This week hasn't been any different, but honestly, I'm kind of excited about these upcoming changes.

Some changes I can't talk about yet with the general public, but trust me that I will definitely post as soon as I can. I so wish that I could share with everyone and gain your support and prayers, but I guess we all have to be patient at some point.

The big change is that I am pretty sure I've made a decision on the living arrangements. I finally enlisted an apartment locator which was probably the best thing that I could have done for myself. She didn't show me anything I didn't know about, but she did act as an amazing sounding board and advisor for this next big step.

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One day. I'll learn to start listening to that voice, the one that occasionally gives me advice, the voice that I largely ignore. It's a tiny little internal voice, coming (I presume) from a tiny little internal smart guy. In my imagination, he dresses much better than I do.

Let's call him... Tiny Rob.

Now, to be fair, Tiny Rob has a pretty spotty record. Sure, he may have been the one who sent me to the doctor five years ago, but he's taken more on-the-job vacations since then than George W. Bush. Tiny Rob has left me to my own devices for months at a stretch, only popping by occasionally to ask, "So, what'd I miss?"

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Life is full of scary moments. Life with health issues is especially scary at times. Each person struggles with different fears and different aspects of diseases, but there is always a recurrent line of fear.

For me, there is the fear of difficult pregnancies. I would absolutely love to have my own biological children, but there is a part of me that knows that might not be possible. Not only am I high risk from the diabetes, but PCOS makes pregnancy an often far-fetched and difficult event.

I'm afraid that I won't have a full term pregnancy. I'm afraid that I'll struggle to get pregnant in the first place. I'm afraid that I'll do something wrong or something even out of my control to hurt my baby. I'm afraid that I won't have the option to decide my own birth plan.

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Someone will post that he was told he has "borderline diabetes" or "prediabetes", or that he had type 2 diabetes, but since he changed his diet, got off his diabetes medications, and has normal lab results, he has reversed or cured his diabetes.

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I really cannot believe that the year is already coming to a close. When I look back, I feel so old...wondering where the time has gone and knowing that I'll never get it back. It seems like just yesterday I was enjoying the feel of the summer months with its easy going and warm nights. Now, 2009 is at its end and we're starting an entirely new decade. So where did 2009 go?

In January, I got my wisdom teeth removed and learned that letting go of my diabetes wasn't the end of the world. at least when into the hands of trusted doctors with type 1 themselves. Little did I know that having my wisdom teeth removed and undergoing that sedative would prepare me for what would come in November.

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Some years ago, I joined an online "healthy eating forum", expecting support in eating healthy (fresh, whole, medically-appropriate) foods in reasonable amounts -- the same sort of community support one expects from a community in which people are looking to lose or maintain weight. What I found instead was a community of young women in various stages of recovery from eating disorders or disordered eating, or progressing from one type of disordered eating to another.

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