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February 10th, 2012
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Dear Diabetes,

 

Lately you've given me some troubles. Pesky lows in the thirties. Drastic drops during the night despite adequate carb consumption. Bruises from my insulin injections. Packing on pounds between the lows and fear of lows. The list really goes on and on...like usual.

 

But lately, I've also been ignoring you. I'm in the throes of my senior year of college. With tests every week, research for papers, and all sorts of miscellaneous assignments. Not to mention that my future is looming large in my mind, with only about seven months left until I'm thrown fully into adulthood. So I've ignored you.

 

I've kept my testing to a minimum five times per day. Stopped freaking out at the sight of crazy numbers. Let my logbook get behind. Avoided eating exactly right or counting every last carb. I've just let you go by the wayside, drifting around the sea like a speck of sand.

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The Past

 

Looking back on 2008 from a "Charlie's diabetes" perspective, it was a pretty good year. His A1c took downward baby steps from 8.1 to 7.9 and then to 7.8 at our last endo visit in November.

 

In 2008, he began identifying total carbs in the snacks he ate (and soon his whole class was doing it at snack time - sorry Mrs. R), but still showed no desire to begin testing his own blood sugar. We began having him bolus himself on occasion under our supervision. He seemed to like the idea of giving himself insulin; being the one to press the buttons.

 

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My daughter Maeve says that Extreme Makeover: Home Edition should come to our house.

 

"I mean look at this place, "she said, kicking the baseboard.

 

"The heat doesn’t work good."

 

"There’s a hole in the wall."

 

(Editor’s note: For the record, the hole in the wall she’s referring to is from a picture frame and is no bigger than a pupil in a guppy’s eye.)

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My mom took care of my diabetes for a really long time. Other parents of diabetics told her that I should be doing my own injections long before I actually started doing them. But she just couldn't bear to hand over the burden to a child, to her child. She knew that this would be my life for many years to come, so why hand it over when she was capable?

 

That simple act of support is one of the main reasons why I'm okay with diabetes today. I was involved in diabetic camps and had a few diabetic friends, but nothing speaks to me like the time and effort that my mom put into my disease for so many years. The pain she must have felt every time I cried after a doctor's visit, the fear she must have faced when I was passed out in the grocery store line, the depression she went through when I was first diagnosed.

 

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ADM logoIt's my time...to prioritize in my own way.

You may have noticed that diabetes hasn't been my first priority here lately. Not only is school speeding by faster than I can possibly keep up, my other health conditions are facing a lot of changes. Changes that I'm so ready for, but also not prepared for at the moment.

 

First, I'm starting birth control today after going off the progesterone almost two months ago. I'm hoping that the birth control will help with the premenstrual symptoms that I experience (like cramping, joint pain, headaches, and fatigue), without leaving lasting side effects (like weight gain, stroke, or pulmonary embolism). It took a lot to make the decision to go on it again, but I've made the decision and now I'm excited to see the results.

 

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I scheduled my endo appointment for June 24th. It'll be my first visit with this doctor, but I've heard she is good at what she does. I've also read a brief bio about her online and I like what I see. She went to my alma mater and she attended medical school in my hometown. I'm unsure whether she has enough experience in type 1, but since I'm not a needy patient, I'm hoping it'll be okay.

 

All that means that I have a few things to do before that last week in June. First, I need to get a referral sent over from my primary care physician, which is something that I'm not used to but must be done to have insurance pay for these things. I also need to get my diabetes in order.

 

Last week, I started back logging my blood sugars. Not insulin quite yet, but at least writing down where I am and how often I'm checking. It's sad how far off track I've gotten in the last months.

 

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Yesterday, I discussed how I'd like diabetes healthcare providers and the healthcare industry to better use existing tests and technologies, and how I believe our current crop of devices and programs might be developed in the near-term future. Today I'm going to discuss items that will take a bit longer to develop and get through FDA approval, or which may take technological and medical breakthroughs to bring to fruition.

 

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Gene Rayburn with his long 1970s microphone and his swank three-piece suits. I imagine he stunk of cigarettes and scotch as he'd lean into the contestants, awaiting their dirty answers. Raunchy double-entendres from Charles Nelson Reilly and an irresistibly funky theme song. It was smutty stuff for sure, but I loved Match Game back in the day.
 

It's been a while since we've played some diabetes fun 'n games. Last year's Fantasy Diabetes League (FDL) brought out the competitive spirit of the online diabetes community and the diabetes version of Mad Libs was a lot of fun.
 

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Diabetes is a unique disease in many ways.

 

One way that I never really realized until recently is the guilt it places on the patient.

 

With other diseases, your doctor is in control of everything. Your medicine, how often you take it, and how much. But with Diabetes, the patient is the one who has to manage it. So when there is a problem, the patient gets blamed.

 

But is that fair? Sure, I know that I decide if I am going to take my insulin on time, or bolus correctly. I am the one who either chooses to exercise or not and eat healthy foods or not. Those are up to me.

 

But, tell me this, who is to blame when I take my insulin correctly, exercise, do everything right, and for no reason my blood sugar is 270?

 

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Last Monday, I was all set to write a post titled "No More Excuses!" I basically had the whole thing written in my head. All I needed to do was type it, spell check it, and post it. The gist of it was I have no more excuses for putting off taking care of myself. The baptism party was over, there are no all-you-can-eat holidays in the very near future and the weather is expected to warm up enough for me to walk outside again soon.
That's it. No more excuses. No reasons for letting my blood sugar slide. No whining that it's too cold to exercise. No cupcakes in the cupboards. Absolutely nothing to get in my way. I was set to diet, to exercise and to take care of my diabetes. And nothing was gonna stop me now. (READ MORE)


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Carey Potash
Carey PotashCarey is a full-time hater of diabetes. The benefits stink. His 7-year-old son, Charlie, has been giving he and his wife the finger since November of 2003. Carey's parenting humor has appeared in various websites and print magazines. He resides in the suburbs of Philadelphia with his wife and three children. (Read More)
Lindsey Guerin
Lindsey GuerinLindsey is a typical, yet unique, Texas girl who loves shopping, movies and reading. She loves to travel and take risks. She dreams of diabetes cures, never-ending cheesecake and her own airplane. The rest you can discover in her blog! (Read More)
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