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November 21st, 2009
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The last few weeks have been a major struggle with my weight. The week before finals (first week of December), I noticed that my weight was slowly climbing. Not much, but enough to make me worry. Two weeks later (bringing us to this weekend), I've gained two pounds.

 

I know two pounds isn't that much, but this time I feel like it's twenty pounds. I'm noticing it in my face, in my legs, in my hands. No one else seems to notice, so I'm sure this is just my self-image taking a nasty turn. But no matter what, I'm still bothered by it.

 

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I get frustrated every day. Diabetes is making me feel like I am semi-losing my mind. I literally have to ask myself everyday, "Am I losing it"? To be honest with you it is scaring me a little. My sugars are all over place. Is this blood sugar roller coaster "normal" for those people out there who are doing "good" with diabetes?

I would like to pose a question to you if you're reading this right now and you are a person with type 1 diabetes and take daily insulin injections. If you have an A1C of 6 or lower, how often are your sugars in the 200's... if ever?
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image unavailableI was looking through a list of writer prompts for Blogabetes post ideas, and one of them was this: "Open up a dictionary and flip to a random page, then select a random word. Use that word to write a post, and see if you can find a diabetes connection!"

 



Easy enough.

 



So I cracked open the big, unabridged Webster's Dictionary and selected the word "Bermuda."

 


Bermuda ... like triangle? Okay, I'll try it.

 

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As if it weren't bad enough that I'm in a group OB practice and see a different doctor just about every visit, they've added a new doctor to the mix. So today's visit was with yet another doctor, who doesn't know me, and doesn't bother to read the chart...
For eight months now, another doctor, in another office, with another specialty (ie endocrinology), has followed my diabetes. Last OB visit was the first time they wanted to actually see my logs. So this visit I bring them, one chart for pre and post meal numbers, which don't tell the whole story, and another one that shows everything. You know, those lows between meals and the random highs that come out of nowhere.
Doctors who are not specifically trained in diabetes management have no business at all whatsoever looking at my blood sugar charts. (READ MORE)


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I'm so frustrated right now. Like cry myself to sleep frustrated. I started walking again five days ago. I had to skip this morning because at 5:50 a.m. my blood sugar was 231. I hate myself for that. But here's what happened. Yesterday, we were invited to a barbeque. In addition to the dessert I left on our kitchen counter, I also forgot to bring my medicine with me. I took the meds when I got home and ate something small just in case, but I still woke up to this hideous number. And of course, no matter how diligent I was all day I remained high because I can't take fast-acting insulin with Byetta. (READ MORE)


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I have yet to really "weigh-in" or write a specific blog on a topic that is regularly discussed among people with diabetes. This is something diabetics deal with on a daily basis. For lack of a better word, I am talking about ignorance. Basically, as diabetics we talk with people everyday who lack a BASIC understanding of what exactly diabetes is. Heck, even I, will be the first to admit to you that I couldn't tell you EXACTLY what it is. I don't know all the medical terminology or the exact biological process that I went through as I was becoming diabetic. NOR DO I EXPECT everyone else too. I am not saying that it's wrong that people don't understand what diabetes is, but what I am saying, is that if you don't know what a "low" is or what "insulin" does, or what it basically means to be diabetic, 'please', at least speaking for MYSELF, 'don't act like you do'. (READ MORE)


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I got a call this morning saying that my appointment with the new endocrinologist next week had to be rescheduled. So I called into the appointments line of the clinic asking for her next available, only to be told that it wasn't until June 10th at the earliest. Three weeks away doesn't sound so bad...except that I can't have any appointments from June 1st to July 6th because of summer school.

 

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Up and down. That's the way it's been lately. Numbers are up, numbers are down, nothing is making sense, patterns are confusing, emotions are frustrating. I've seen some wildly high numbers in the past week or two that are completely blowing my mind. Go to bed at 109 mg/dl, but wake up at 5 am in the 300's.
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Having diabetes has many challenges as we all know. Exercising, eating right, checking our blood glucose levels, taking medicines, seeing doctors regularly, and so many more that I cannot even think of. We are busy bees.
One thing I have found as a major challenge is not losing my cool with people who maybe don't understand this disease so I would like to clear up a few things.
1. Not all people with type 1 diabetes are thin.
I am on a weight loss program right now and frankly, the only time I have ever been thin in my life was the year or so before I was diagnosed and was losing weight like crazy.
2. Not all people with type 2 are overweight.
This one drives me nuts. It is true that weight loss can help your chances of not getting diabetes but there are other factors too. I think of my uncle who had lung cancer but never smoked a day in his life. Same sort of a thing.
3. People who take insulin are not out of control. (READ MORE)


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After church I typically end up sitting down with a few of the members I get to see once and week and catch up.

 

This Sunday I was sitting with Paul. Paul is an older gentleman who is witty, funny, and sharp as a tack. I believe he is in his late 60's and read all the bible verses that day in church. He used to be a radio announcer so he has an awesome voice.

 

We asked each other how we were doing and I felt compelled to share my weekend of ridiculously high blood glucose readings.

 

"I have been sky high all weekend and cannot get my blood sugar down," I told him, not sure if he could sympathize.

 

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Julia
JuliaJulia lives behind the Tofu Curtain, in the Pioneer Valley, in Western Massachusetts. It's a nice place. She likes it there. Her eldest daughter, Olivia, has type 1 diabetes. She's also 13. It's a real toss-up as to which is more difficult -- the diabetes or the teen-age drama. (Read More)
Michelle Kowalski
Michelle KowalskiMichelle Kowalski, a writer, editor and photography hobbiest living in Phoenix, was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in February 2005. In January 2008, as part of her quest to start on an insulin pump, Michelle learned that she actually has type 1 diabetes. (Read More)
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