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I get frustrated every day. Diabetes is making me feel like I am semi-losing my mind. I literally have to ask myself everyday, "Am I losing it"? To be honest with you it is scaring me a little. My sugars are all over place. Is this blood sugar roller coaster "normal" for those people out there who are doing "good" with diabetes?
I would like to pose a question to you if you're reading this right now and you are a person with type 1 diabetes and take daily insulin injections. If you have an
A1C of 6 or lower, how often are your sugars in the 200's... if ever?
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I get frustrated every day. Diabetes is making me feel like I am semi-losing my mind. I literally have to ask myself everyday, "Am I losing it"? To be honest with you it is scaring me a little. My sugars are all over place. Is this blood sugar roller coaster "normal" for those people out there who are doing "good" with diabetes?
I would like to pose a question to you if you're reading this right now and you are a person with type 1 diabetes and take daily insulin injections. If you have an
A1C of 6 or lower, how often are your sugars in the 200's... if ever?
(READ MORE)
As if it weren't bad enough that I'm in a group OB practice and see a different doctor just about every visit, they've added a new doctor to the mix. So today's visit was with yet another doctor, who doesn't know me, and doesn't bother to read the chart...
For eight months now, another doctor, in another office, with another specialty (ie endocrinology), has followed my diabetes. Last OB visit was the first time they wanted to actually see my logs. So this visit I bring them, one chart for pre and post meal numbers, which don't tell the whole story, and another one that shows everything. You know, those lows between meals and the random highs that come out of nowhere.
Doctors who are not specifically trained in diabetes management have no business at all whatsoever looking at my blood sugar charts.
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I'm so frustrated right now. Like cry myself to sleep frustrated. I started walking again five days ago. I had to skip this morning because at 5:50 a.m. my blood sugar was 231. I hate myself for that. But here's what happened. Yesterday, we were invited to a barbeque. In addition to the dessert I left on our kitchen counter, I also forgot to bring my medicine with me. I took the meds when I got home and ate something small just in case, but I still woke up to this hideous number. And of course, no matter how diligent I was all day I remained high because I can't take fast-acting insulin with Byetta.
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I have yet to really "weigh-in" or write a specific blog on a topic that is regularly discussed among people with diabetes. This is something diabetics deal with on a daily basis. For lack of a better word, I am talking about ignorance. Basically, as diabetics we talk with people everyday who lack a BASIC understanding of what exactly diabetes is. Heck, even I, will be the first to admit to you that I couldn't tell you EXACTLY what it is. I don't know all the medical terminology or the exact biological process that I went through as I was becoming diabetic. NOR DO I EXPECT everyone else too. I am not saying that it's wrong that people don't understand what diabetes is, but what I am saying, is that if you don't know what a "low" is or what "insulin" does, or what it basically means to be diabetic, 'please', at least speaking for MYSELF, 'don't act like you do'.
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Having diabetes has many challenges as we all know. Exercising, eating right, checking our blood glucose levels, taking medicines, seeing doctors regularly, and so many more that I cannot even think of. We are busy bees.
One thing I have found as a major challenge is not losing my cool with people who maybe don't understand this disease so I would like to clear up a few things.
1. Not all people with type 1 diabetes are thin.
I am on a weight loss program right now and frankly, the only time I have ever been thin in my life was the year or so before I was diagnosed and was losing weight like crazy.
2. Not all people with type 2 are overweight.
This one drives me nuts. It is true that weight loss can help your chances of not getting diabetes but there are other factors too. I think of my uncle who had lung cancer but never smoked a day in his life. Same sort of a thing.
3. People who take insulin are not out of control. (READ MORE)
This morning I have my first ever "
pump class". Ever since I was diagnosed, I have been on a multiple daily injections routine, so needless to say, I am a little nervous about this class. I am not really sure what to expect. I was told to be there from 8-12 and that lunch would be provided. Although I am nervous, I am also excited to learn about this new way to take care of my diabetes.
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In February and March we sought the guidance of diabetes author and coach Gary Scheiner to see if we too could "Think Like a Pancreas."
Our few meetings energized us briefly, but soon enough, we were back to feeling lost and utterly confused. After about five months, the pump wasn't working out as we hoped it would.
In April we decided to throw out all carb ratios and basal levels and begin with a clean slate, following more pump frustrations and a disappointing A1c of 9.6. We felt we hit rock bottom. We worked daily with the pump educator, tweaking and tweaking and tweaking and scratching our heads until we could tweak and scratch no more.
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Diabetes is a roller coaster. Sometimes it's amazing. Sometimes it's scary. Sometimes it's excruciating. A good roller coaster has ups and downs, twists, turns and unexpected adventures. Roller coasters vary in speed, style, form and build. Diabetes has the same twists and turns, the same diversity.
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We finally got some snow in our neck of the woods. It wasn't much, but just enough to sled in, play in and of course get hypoglycemic in. We've been so desperate for snow; we would have taken sledding down a mountain of mud after a heavy rain at this point.
What we find unfortunately is that trudging through the snow is so strenuous that it sinks Charlie like a stone. He was low all weekend. Even while being detached from his pump for much of it.
And now for the "damn you, diabetes" segment of this post:
I remember how exciting it was when school was cancelled due to snow. I loved snow days. Can't Charlie just enjoy a snow day without diabetes spoiling it? After a morning low on Friday, the kids played in the snow for a while. When Susanne called out to Charlie to ask how he was feeling, he stopped flapping for a moment and lifted two thumbs up skyward while lying on his back in mid snow angel form; huge smile upon his face.
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