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May 26th, 2012
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Over fifteen percent of San Diego County's population of 2.9 million has been evacuated from their homes due to impending threats of fast burning fires. The San Diego Charger's home field, Qualcomm Stadium, as well as local shelters and hotels are being filled up as a safe-haven for relocated San Diegans. More than 1,300 homes and businesses have been set afire by the wind propelled wildfires and containment in some areas is still zero percent. (READ MORE)


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I am awake, but not really.  There is a gray fog wrapped about my head, twirling in my eyes.  And my eyes are itching, watering a little.  My tongue and my teeth are absent, though I have a vague idea they're still there in my mouth.  Missing in action too, my ability to vocalize appropriately.  I test my speech and manage a breath and then "gug gug."  

 

I see the ceiling above my head, white with the one little crack, or is it a crack?  Crack?  Where did that word come from?  The ceiling sure looks bright.  I like bright.  Bride?  In white.  Like the ceiling.  Where am I?

 

"Home."  I think, and I might slur it aloud.   "Machine."  

 

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Life is full of simple pleasures.

Today I slept in until 12. I made some coffee. I drank about 4 cups. I had a nice little breakfast. I turned on the tv and actually caught a decent movie. The movie was, "The Broken Trail" with Robert Duval. It was about some good ol' cowboys taking some horses about 800 miles or so through some beautiful country in Wyoming. The movie really hit home with me this morning. I love to be outside. I love that I am country guy and that I am in my element when I am out in the wilderness. I love a good fire and a good meal. Sometimes I am happiest with just a cup of coffee and maybe a smoke if I feel like it.

Bottom line is today I was depressed.

I had a nice breakfast, watched that great movie, drank my coffee, and then tested my sugar.
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In case you didn't know that acronym stands for, "There's No Such Thing As A Free Lunch." I remember those words on the chalk board during my Economics class in high school. Yesterday this saying came to mind again.
During the day I get a phone call from one of our salespeople at work letting me know that he wants to treat the office employees to lunch as an early Valentine's gift. All the gals in the office were excited to get a free lunch but see it as a test of my will power.
Having to count points and carbs means I plan for most meals. I have spent the first weeks of the New Year luke-warm about my weight loss and I just recently got the fire burning again. Free lunches come with a price that I am not ready to pay. (READ MORE)


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I have found another one of my deep passions. Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.
There are many things in this world that make me feel good: my girlfriend, being with my friends and family, going on long walks or hikes, building a nice fire and sitting around it feeling its warmth, traveling, joking around- basically you get the idea. I could continue to write down dozens of other things that make me feel good, but I'll spare you the time. Over the past couple of years, I have had one focus that especially makes me feel great, martial arts. I feel the main reason why I love kickboxing and jiu-jitsu is that I feel empowered. This is so important to me and my physical, spiritual, and mental health because getting diabetes at a young age took ALL of that away from me. (READ MORE)


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He lunges from left to right, securing his black Pumas against the goal post and suffocates the bright-orange hockey ball before the marauding yellow team can squeak it past him.


When the whistle stops play, he glances over to make sure we're watching. Happy as a clam behind his helmet's cage and bopping his head up and down like a parrot.


"Way to go, Cholly!" one of the fathers yells, slouching comfortably  in his folding chair.


"His name is Charlie," his son says, stressing the "arlie."


"Well here in Philadelphia, we say Cholly," he says proudly, adjusting his thick gold chain around his deeply tanned neck.

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I started a blacksmithing class last night.  It was, in short, awesome.  I love the power of fire, I love working with tools, and I love making things, so the class is fun for me in a number of ways.

 

As we fired steel, heating it until it glowed white and became as soft as clay, I got to thinking of how so many of us are very much like steel.  For me, this is particularly true of the challenged and broken people who share my world.  

 

We stand up against the elements of our life.  Sometimes, we rust or stain, but we still stand up tall against the wind, the rain, the cold.  We brace ourselves and others, creating foundations, cores, and towers that protect.  We endure blows.  We are, for the most part, as solid as anything on earth.  

 

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This morning, I have the heat up and a fire burning. I'm attempting to take this third "snow/ice day" to get some of my own work done. Papers, research, and taxes. I also have to handle a stolen paycheck at some point (although I don't think the roads will let me get very far today and that requires a trip to the police station).

 

This cold weather does not motivate me to do much. Especially things that require running around town like picking up school books, going to that police station, and getting decent groceries. But even inside, I'd rather just curl up under my covers and watch TV.

 

There are things on my lists that I have to do though. I have to pay bills and handle some odd charges on my internet bill. I have to pay my taxes at some point (thanks, Uncle Sam). I also have to decide what my living situation is going to look like in the near future.

 

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I'm exhausted this week, but I wanted to share how great things are with me right now. I started training for the new job over the weekend. I've continued that into this week and will be going through intensive training over the next several before being thrown into the fire to actually take over the position (I am replacing someone who is retiring).

 

Things are great at the new job. Absolutely, hands down great. I really couldn't ask for a better workplace at this moment. Everyone has made me feel welcome. Everyone is open to questions and giving me space to learn. And the way I feel by making a difference every minute of the day is just absolutely amazing.

 

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I have had several dreams lately that have been almost completely focused on diabetes.  Of course, the focus is sort of skewed by the fact that these are dreams and dreams are strange.

 

Last night, I was sitting on a huge island.  Completely surrounded by water, I realized I was completely naked and I had nothing in the way of supplies with me. 

 

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Nicole Purcell
Nicole PurcellNicole Purcell lists having type 1 diabetes last when she's asked to provide information about herself - because that's where it belongs.

(Read More)
Lindsey Guerin
Lindsey GuerinLindsey is a typical, yet unique, Texas girl who loves shopping, movies and reading. She loves to travel and take risks. She dreams of diabetes cures, never-ending cheesecake and her own airplane. The rest you can discover in her blog! (Read More)
Our Other Bloggers: Carey Potash, Brenda Bell, Michelle Kowalski, MikeDurbin, Megan, Robert Hudson, Julia, George Simmons, Scott Marvel, Kim Doty, Kerri Sparling,