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February 10th, 2012
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On Friday I had an appointment with my endocrinologist. I was looking forward to talking to him about some new ideas I had thought about especially Symilin.


When I told him he was very receptive to the idea of trying Symilin and thinks it may help with some weight loss.


"Most type 2's don't have a problem using Symilin. I have subscribed it often," the doctor said to me.


"Oh but I am a type 1," I tell him in the nicest voice I can muster since I know why he said what he did.


"Are you sure?"


"Yes I am just fat." I had this same discussion with his nurse the last time I was here and I thought then that at least it wasn't my actual doctor saying something so stupid.

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I had a headache when I got home from work around 3:30 Monday morning.  I don't know what brought it on; I thought maybe it was stress or tension, or that I hadn't eaten in a while, or maybe even sinus related.  I did know that my blood sugar numbers were good, so that wasn't it.

 

Whatever it was, I just wanted it to go away. So, I found something to eat, took some Tylenol, and climbed into bed, hoping that the headache would just go away after a good night's sleep.  Much to my dismay, that's not what happened.

 

I woke later Monday morning with what can only be described as a migraine from hell. It felt like someone had hit me in the head repeatedly with a baseball bat or something.  It was immensely painful, and was accompanied by sensitivity to light and sound. Oh, and nausea, too.  It's been a long time since I've had a headache that bad, and frankly, I could have gone a whole lot longer without it, too.

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There has been much heat in the diabetes online community concerning the new Medicaid/Medicare restrictions on paying for blood glucose testing supplies for people with diabetes, including the belief that these limitations will quickly replace current private-insurance coverage policies. We're seeing some of those repercussions here as The Other Half has just been informed that instead of covering testing supplies ad libitum (as many as his doctor writes for, for whichever brand she writes for), they will only cover OneTouch or Accu-Chek strips, to a maximum of 51 strips per month for people with diabetes who do not require injectable insulin, and 204 strips per month for those who do require it. (READ MORE)


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In April 2008, I went to my urgent care doctor for several reasons. The first was a strange side pain that I'd been having for two days. The second was that my blood sugars were just not budging from the 200s and 300s. Then there was an intense shoulder pain.

 

The side pain started out tolerable on my lower right side. It was just a burning twinge that I noticed throughout my day. It got a little worse and the blood sugars seemed to follow over the next day. By the morning of my doctor's visit, I was wanting to curl in pain and forget the world.

 

It turned out that I had a ruptured ovarian cyst. It was bleeding into my ovary which was causing the intense pain. It was most likely brought on by an aggressive workout that I did a few days prior (the rupturing, not the cyst). It eventually helped me obtain my diagnosis with PCOS (that and the acne, irregular periods, hair growth, hair loss, and other lovely symptoms).

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When it comes to finding a cure, I'm not exactly picky. I'm ready and willing for whatever we can successfully bring about to get rid of this disease. Last year, I even looked into a clinical trial for islet cell transplant therapy. I give my money to research for this disease so one day my future won't include finger sticks and insulin injections.

 

JDRF announced last year and reiterated this year that the focus is shifting from solely looking for a cure for type 1 diabetes to general treatment and complication therapy. That was a tough pill to swallow. And sometimes still is, even though I currently work at JDRF. I want a cure, not a newer nicer meter or a pump that does it all. I want this gone for good.

 

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When I posted this, I didn't expect much reaction. I was being honest about this disease as I'm called to do as a diabetes blogger. I was being honest with myself about living with a chronic illness for eighteen plus years and another chronic illness for five years.

 

Throughout the past three years of blogging here at dLife, I've faced a few reactions to some of my posts. One reader even going so far as to call the university that I attended to tell them of my "out of control" diabetes because I'd had a low blood sugar in the 30s. The honesty in my blogs can leave people with strong reactions.

 

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Right now, there are a thousand things on my "to do" list. Everything from making Christmas returns to getting my life back on a routine. Just making the list settled some of my frustration with how my life is going at this stage. It's a new year and I'm ready to get back on track and get this life under control. I don't make resolutions so much as set goals because I tend to constantly be doing small pieces of whatever my resolution might be. My problem is relaxing my control or my routine and ending up with a bigger mess.

 

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I talk pretty freely about what goes on in my life. All the good stuff. all the bad stuff. So much so that my mom had to stop reading my blog a year ago.

 

There are few things that I hold back on. But the next few posts that you'll read are actually very tough for me to write about. In fact, I've been *not writing* about this for more than a month. I don't keep secrets well and writing is one of my outlets so this has been stewing for a while.

 

And I'm scared. Damn scared. About what I'm going to say and what it means for my life. And the perception of me.

 

It started when I met with my new nurse-practitioner psychiatrist. We went through all the normal stuff when you meet with a new doctor and all the normal stuff when you meet with a new psychiatrist.

 

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I’m beyond exhausted on my quest to find a new psychiatrist.



I’m adament that I see a female psychiatrist. I often don’t mind the gender of my medical providers, but I am finding that I have a much better connection with female doctors. Also, I want to see a provider who is not out of my way: her office needs to be either near where I live, near where I work or on the way. That’s not too much to ask, right?



I logged on to my insurance company’s web site to find a new provider and my choices were actually pretty limited, but I found a female psychiatrist near Dr. L’s office. I was in no rush to get an appointment because I have a follow up with Dr. L in late July, but I knew I needed to go ahead and get on the books with a new doctor so we could start the new patient process.



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Finding a new endocrinologist has proven to be quite interesting. First, my insurance apparently doesn't have a whole lot of options in my area (or maybe my area doesn't have a whole lot of options in general), especially in the female category. I had about 4 choices, one of which I'm currently seeing.

 

If you hadn't heard, I decided to change my endo because of a recent mess up regarding my test strip prescription that has me scrambling for more strips to last three months. This was the straw that broke the camel's back after two appointments with her that just didn't go as I'd like. She is a competent doctor, but she isn't the kind of doctor that I'm looking for.

 

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Brenda Bell
Brenda BellBrenda was diagnosed with high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and Type 2 diabetes in July 2002. After a rocky start, her diabetes has been diet-controlled since January 2004 and she hopes to keep it that way for as long as possible. (Read More)
Carey Potash
Carey PotashCarey is a full-time hater of diabetes. The benefits stink. His 7-year-old son, Charlie, has been giving he and his wife the finger since November of 2003. Carey's parenting humor has appeared in various websites and print magazines. He resides in the suburbs of Philadelphia with his wife and three children. (Read More)
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